Is he being kind or deceitful?

paddy's_mum

Emoticon wrote: »

if she phones when I am there he either wont answer the phone or takes the call in another room (sometimes very long calls)

Any ideas gratefully received

Here's my idea. Next time you are there and the phone rings, snatch up the phone and say "hello Alice. How are you? This is Jehosaphat's partner Fifi speaking ..."

If he goes ballistic, you will at least have your answer and an end to your doubts.

There is definitely something underhand going on here. Even if it's a case of safeguarding her secrets and keeping her private business to himself, the determination not to so much as even mention you smacks of concealment and deceit.

In your shoes, he'd have to be doing a whole lot more in order to keep alive my faith that he was telling you the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me God!

paulineb_2

Due to his continued feelings for her he has never told her anything about me.

Thats the sentence that would get him booted to the kerb. You can have left over feelings for an ex, but not to that extent.

thehappybutterfly

I think Alice is his wife.

ska_lover

paulineb wrote: »

no you arent being unreasonable, i couldnt be in a relationship with someone under those circumstances. Too weird. His priority should be you.
Its not.

ditto...................

seven-day-weekend

thehappybutterfly wrote: »

I think Alice is his wife.

So do I

Bella73

Sorry OP but it does sound rather like Alice is more than an ex. Think it is very odd that he would be sending a few hundred pounds to someone who is just a needy ex.

To the mother of his child yes but just an ex not very likely.

paulineb_2

If Alice is his wife then how does the OP visit him at his home for weekends and shes not there?

Emoticon

Thank you all so very much for your responses. You dont know how many hours I have lain awake going over and over this situation, which seems to uncomfortable.

He might be "too soft" or cowardly to tell Alice about me and how he has now "moved on"....but I keep returning to these feelins:
If he no longer loved me, like he says he no longer loves Alice, would he be too cowardly to tell me?
How can he start a full relationship with me if he still feels so strongly towards her (he says his biggest feeling for her is sympathy, not love)
He chooses to believe HE is the one tortured by the situation and that its "not something I should concern myself with"

Also for the record, I am 100% sure there is no child involved. If he had a child I just know he would want to be involved in its upbringing. Alice is in her 50's like all of us.

Thanks for your continued interest.

CH27

There's far more to this than meets the eye.
I wouldn't want to share my life with someone who is deceitful.

carolwat

Do you actually go to his house?