Problem at work, need some quick advice....

Southend1

dandelionclock30 wrote: »

I would just tell him straight, please dont pat me on the back again or move my things about. Told to him in a seriously manner, not joking etc.
I would say that I was telling him now to his face and that if he continues that I will be complaining.

Yes, this ^^^^^

If you don't tell him it can be seen as you accepting his behaviour.

Getting someone else to send a general email to everyone will just make him think you're weak and will likely result in the inappropriate behaviours intensifying.

ILW

Strider590 wrote: »

I'm an engineer, I prefer to do, rather than talking about doing, my achievements define me, but I don't run around boasting about them. I can't stand bullsh*t, management speak and small talk.

Touching out context is nothing more than a form of aggression, a show of superiority, a show of ownership. I suggest you go away and do some research on this.......
Watch some of the videos of world leaders meeting each other, watch the body language.

If the company MD pats me on the back, I take that respectfully because the guy built a multi million £ business from the ground up. But when someone with no skills, no qualifications, no experience and a below average intelligence does this, I take it as a show of aggression, assumed dominance and quite possibly as an insult.

You seem to be over analysing, and sorry but you come over as a self important prat.

Just tell him to stop it.

Noctu

Start moaning with pleasure when he does it next.

Strider590

ILW wrote: »

You seem to be over analysing, and sorry but you come over as a self important prat.
.

I don't think there's any need for that......
I've been through a lot of sh*t over the years, people taking advantage, bullying and putting me down in the workplace. It wasn't until depression hit me that I came to find out that the reason for all of it was being seen as a threat. Because I'm quiet natured and have an extremely broad and detailed knowledge base, people distrust me.

We live in a country where loud + stupid people are seen as friendly and intelligent, car salesmen and such like.

I'm not an extrovert and I'm sick of being sh*t on for it.

http://www.ted.com/talks/susan_cain_the_power_of_introverts.html

Takeaway_Addict

Strider590 wrote: »

I don't think there's any need for that......
I've been through a lot of sh*t over the years, people taking advantage, bullying and putting me down in the workplace. It wasn't until depression hit me that I came to find out that the reason for all of it was being seen as a threat. Because I'm quiet natured and have an extremely broad and detailed knowledge base, people distrust me.

We live in a country where loud + stupid people are seen as friendly and intelligent, car salesmen and such like.

I'm not an extrovert and I'm sick of being sh*t on for it.

http://www.ted.com/talks/susan_cain_the_power_of_introverts.html

No, but it does sound like you are being a tad sensitive on the issue.

Lieja

If he's a bully, stand up to him. Tell him firmly but politely, in front of others if possible, that you would like him to stop. His posturing is no doubt an attempt to cover up his insecurities, which no doubt revolve around your technical superiority in this situation. Put him in his place verbally, and if he continues his behaviour then that's the time to take it up with someone higher up.

It does sound as though you're taking it a bit too far though, and if your attitude at work is anything like on here then I'm not surprised people distrust you. Maybe it's because you go behind people's backs without first tackling the issue directly that causes this distrust?

ILW

Strider590 wrote: »

I don't think there's any need for that......
I've been through a lot of sh*t over the years, people taking advantage, bullying and putting me down in the workplace. It wasn't until depression hit me that I came to find out that the reason for all of it was being seen as a threat. Because I'm quiet natured and have an extremely broad and detailed knowledge base, people distrust me.

We live in a country where loud + stupid people are seen as friendly and intelligent, car salesmen and such like.

I'm not an extrovert and I'm sick of being sh*t on for it.

http://www.ted.com/talks/susan_cain_the_power_of_introverts.html

There you go again.
Ans looking down on others because you percieve them to be of lower intelligence than yourself will win you no friends.

jacques_chirac

OP, you are getting this all out of proportion. It is far better to politely and firmly ask him to stop the back patting/ reorganising, than running to the boss and turning it into a big deal.

scooby088

OP be assertive and tell the person they are out of order. It's that simple really.

scheming_gypsy

Next time he does it, give his nuts a quick squeeze.