📨 Have you signed up to the Forum's new Email Digest yet? Get a selection of trending threads sent straight to your inbox daily, weekly or monthly!

Problem at work, need some quick advice....

Strider590
Strider590 Posts: 11,874 Forumite
edited 20 October 2013 at 9:26PM in Employment, jobseeking & training
Long story short, i've moved temporarily to a different dept, one "supervised" by someone who really shouldn't even be in the dept. He has no official authority, he's just the oldest, he's only there because they needed an extra pair of hands to do the simple work, he's not the sharpest tool in the box and he's lacking any technical knowledge.
I'm in there to provide technical guidance in setting up some new equipment.

This person has started playing at the dominant body language stuff (really badly and obviously), things like rearranging my workspace every evening, patting me on the back like a dog, etc etc etc.

Every time he does this, it's a concious effort not to break his wrist and bring him to his knees (martial arts training).

I'm not going to let him keep doing this, i'm not a dog, i'm far more experienced than him and i've held positions of authority in previous jobs. Coming from another dept i'm also better paid (and by not a small amount).

He's knows what he's doing, it's like he's read this stuff from somewhere, but he's not quite clever enough to be subtle about it.

I don't want to cause trouble, but this has to stop.
Speak to him? speak to his manager? speak to a much higher up manager? go straight to the MD? (we've worked together on projects)

The business is growing and i'm gradually being given more and more responsible jobs to do, project management etc..... So this issue has to be dealt with sensitively.
“I may not agree with you, but I will defend to the death your right to make an a** of yourself.”

<><><><><><><><><<><><><><><><><><><><><><> Don't forget to like and subscribe \/ \/ \/
«13456722

Comments

  • ILW
    ILW Posts: 18,333 Forumite
    Are you sure the problem is with him?
  • Valli
    Valli Posts: 25,505 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Play him at his own game. Get your back patting (etc) in first.
    Don't put it DOWN; put it AWAY
    "I would like more sisters, that the taking out of one, might not leave such stillness" Emily Dickinson
    :heart:Janice 1964-2016:heart:

    Thank you Honey Bear
  • thistledome
    thistledome Posts: 1,566 Forumite
    Next time he tries to do something dominant, whip around really quick and start humping him.

    I learnt this from my spaniel.
    Love the animals: God has given them the rudiments of thought and joy untroubled. Do not trouble their joy, don't harrass them, don't deprive them of their happiness.
  • Southend1
    Southend1 Posts: 3,362 Forumite
    Ninth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Don't go over his head that will make things worse. The first thing to do is to start being assertive when he behaves in unacceptable ways. For example, "I'm really pleased you are happy with my work but please don't pat me on the back in future."
  • Strider590
    Strider590 Posts: 11,874 Forumite
    ILW wrote: »
    Are you sure the problem is with him?

    Yeah, defo..... It's started in the last week or so, before this he was being very cautious around me, I think he thought I was being drafted in to take over or to spy for the MD.
    “I may not agree with you, but I will defend to the death your right to make an a** of yourself.”

    <><><><><><><><><<><><><><><><><><><><><><> Don't forget to like and subscribe \/ \/ \/
  • Yorkie1
    Yorkie1 Posts: 12,085 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    I would challenge him as suggested by another poster. It's very passive aggressive to move things round on someone's desk. Why's he doing that? Is there anything on there which might go missing?
  • elsien
    elsien Posts: 36,232 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    I'd be cracking jokes with the rest of the team about the office poltergeist, so if he carries on moving stuff around it makes him look a bigger prat than he does now.
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
  • cte1111
    cte1111 Posts: 7,390 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    I would politely ask him not to move your desk around. Maybe the patting could be dealt with by a joke, e.g. I'm not a dog you know Bob.

    It does sound a bit like you're making a mountain out of a molehill. You're not going to be in that department forever, so maybe best just to rise above it and be glad when you move onto your next task.

    I find the "Every time he does this, it's a concious effort not to break his wrist and bring him to his knees" more of a concern TBH. It does seem rather an extreme statement.
  • Southend1
    Southend1 Posts: 3,362 Forumite
    Ninth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Thing is, if OP tries to deal with this as a joke then the supervisor won't take him seriously. Assertive, adult feedback is what is required. I.e. "Bob, when you move things around on my desk it makes me feel uncomfortable. Please don't do it again". Clearly behaving aggressively towards the guy is unacceptable, no matter how inappropriate his behaviour. OP mentions he has had management roles in the past so he should have the experience to deal with this in the most appropriate way.
  • Strider590
    Strider590 Posts: 11,874 Forumite
    Southend1 wrote: »
    Thing is, if OP tries to deal with this as a joke then the supervisor won't take him seriously. .

    He's not a supervisor, he's senior only really by age and by basically running about trying to control the unimportant stuff......

    I feel he's trying to assert himself as the boss of the room, but he's secretly insecure because he knows he doesn't have the knowledge, experience, intelligence or qualifications. So he's turning to basic passive aggressive body language to assert himself as the alpha male.
    Like I say, this is clearly staged behaviour, you can see he's planning this stuff every time he does it.......
    “I may not agree with you, but I will defend to the death your right to make an a** of yourself.”

    <><><><><><><><><<><><><><><><><><><><><><> Don't forget to like and subscribe \/ \/ \/
This discussion has been closed.
Meet your Ambassadors

🚀 Getting Started

Hi new member!

Our Getting Started Guide will help you get the most out of the Forum

Categories

  • All Categories
  • 351.4K Banking & Borrowing
  • 253.3K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 453.8K Spending & Discounts
  • 244.4K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 599.6K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 177.1K Life & Family
  • 257.9K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 16.2K Discuss & Feedback
  • 37.6K Read-Only Boards

Is this how you want to be seen?

We see you are using a default avatar. It takes only a few seconds to pick a picture.