Overheard a conversation between Mum and stepdad last night, help

comeandgo

I do regard 24 as old to be still staying at home - 18 is the going rate in our family. It sounds as though you are taking over their house, you have two of the four bedrooms. Are you paying a fair amount of rent for this? Some of it would be a taxable expense for your business, though I suppose the otherside would be your parent may have to declare the income to HMRC. You say you will move when you are 25, why 25, why not 24?

Toothfairy4

lifecanbetough4 wrote: »

I don't pay any rent but buy all own foods, hardly use washing machine etc.

I can't offer money because I am trying to save for a house. Also chucking me out will mess up my business.


I feel they are using me as the scapegoat to all their problems, always been like that, so frustrating

Your parents have been pretty generous to allow you to live rent-free. Yes, granted you buy your own food but you are also contributing to their energy usage etc. Not many people have the luxury of a rent-free life into their 20s to allow them to buy a property straight away. Most people rent for a while first whilst saving. It may be that you could explore this option if they are insistant that you move out?

comeandgo

I have just read your other post, you are coming across as very selfish - its all you you you.

lifecanbetough4

TTC40 wrote: »

Does your stuff/ you make the place look a mess?

Just because you have 2 rooms & half the garage you can still organise it & keep things tidy. Do you?

Do you pay board & help around the house?

It might not just be down to 'clutter'.

Yes, my Mum has OCD with cleaning/tidyness, honestly its a nightmare

CAN1976

lifecanbetough4 wrote: »

I don't pay any rent but buy all own foods, hardly use washing machine etc.

I can't offer money because I am trying to save for a house. Also chucking me out will mess up my business.


I feel they are using me as the scapegoat to all their problems, always been like that, so frustrating

You CAN offer money, the difference between what you offer and what you would have to pay if you were renting your own place can be put towards your deposit.....

aileth

Everyone keeps mentioning rent and board, but it doesn't seem the mother has an issue with that. The mother seems to want them out because she sees them as getting under her and stepfather's feet.

Is there nowhere you can go? Maybe arrange two days a week where you stay at a friend's for a few hours in the evening to give them some time alone. Do you have a partner you can stay overnight with?

I know it's upsetting thinking your mother wants to get rid of you, but I think it's more that she has no free space essentially as you're always there, which I totally understand as I had this issue when I had to move back in with my parents following a failed relationship, which really pushed my relationship with my parents to the limit.

Sit down with her, tell her what you overheard, ask how you can help and reiterate you will be moving out in a year, and what can you do to make this year easier for all of you.

krlyr

lifecanbetough4 wrote: »

I don't pay any rent but buy all own foods, hardly use washing machine etc.

I can't offer money because I am trying to save for a house. Also chucking me out will mess up my business.


I feel they are using me as the scapegoat to all their problems, always been like that, so frustrating

You can offer money. It will impact on your savings, but the option is there. Like I said, not everyone can live rent-free and plough all their spare money into savings, and it may be that the savings have to be lowered if that's what it takes to keep the roof over your head.

Perhaps they feel it's somewhat unfair that they are making sacrifices to allow you to save, build your business, etc. when you're not making sacrifices (like paying some rent, by using some of your spare cash or perhaps getting a part-time job to bring in a bigger wage) in return?

Your presence will cost them extra in utilities, even if you buy your own food and try to minimise use of appliances, and away from the monetary side of things, it does impact on their privacy. I imagine they want to create a life together, especially if they've not been together decades (don't know the history), and having another adult in the house to have to work around may be cramping their style. I absolutely loved moving into this house, a house just for me and OH, where I can wander around in my undies, leave the toilet door wide open, never argue with anyone over what channel to watch and so on..those are things your mum and step-dad will want to enjoy, but they have to keep working around having you in the house (and it sounds like you're there a lot).

paulineb_2

I think that booting you out during your final year at university would be a really harsh move

But I agree, you can offer something in the way of rent. Giving them something for the rooms you are using should also be a priority. If you can save for a home, you can use some of the money you are saving for a home to give your mum in rent and that might help with the way she is feeling.

jacques_chirac

lifecanbetough4 wrote: »

Yes, my Mum has OCD with cleaning/tidyness, honestly its a nightmare

Does she have clinically diagnosed OCD, or does she simply like a tidy house?

Can anyone recall a thread about a boy with a phobia to household chemicals?

kazwookie

lifecanbetough4 wrote: »

I don't pay any rent but buy all own foods, hardly use washing machine etc.

I can't offer money because I am trying to save for a house. Also chucking me out will mess up my business.

I feel they are using me as the scapegoat to all their problems, always been like that, so frustrating

I am truely shocked at this ^^.

You are 24 and don't pay anything, you need to get real! You need to start offering rent / gas / elec money etc.

Even worse the statement 'chucking me out will mess up my business'....you need to look at renting a work space / work unit of some sort.