Ruined engagement surprise, what can we do ??

CC-Warrior

anniec19 wrote: »

This is the first time I have posted on here. I was looking for opinions, not abuse. Daniel works long hours which is why I offered to deal directly with POB and I have a long background of working in customer service. Everything I wrote is true, and provable, so I have no need to worry about naming names. It has been ruined for them and the attitude from the shop stinks. Ps surely it's traditional to ask the brides father ????

Surely it's traditional to wear white, and not have sex before the wedding night.

paulineb_2

I actually agree, why was the shop given a number that the gf might answer, if you didnt want her to know about the ring why was her bfs number given to the shop in the first place. Surely a landline number would have made more sense.

I wouldnt have asked for a refund or a free ring, Id have been happy with the flowers and discount on the wedding rings. Some shops would have laughed you out the place and told you where to go and people do make mistakes.

There was no need to name names, however the fact that you did, as I said, I think the shop tried to make amends.

Also, do you want the worker who did this to get into trouble? Can you imagine how they might be feeling having made this mistake and then all this fuss gets made and the spotlight is on them?

Unless something was really drastically wrong, I wouldnt make so much of a fuss that might end up with someone who made a genuine mistake ending up feeling awful about it.

lostinrates

anniec19 wrote: »

The OP was right to feel disappointed on her son's behalf, and even angry for a brief period, but posting the company and the names of the 'guilty men' on the web was way over the top and a serious error of judgement in my view.

You're right & I apologise. I have edited the post as I feel I was too hasty. However, I do feel that this shop has belittled the experience. Hey oh, you live & learn !!:A[/QUOTE]

I hope you all feel better this morning

Having appreciated the mistake you made yesterday, have you considered in what way it would be appropriate for you to apologise to the shop for your indiscretion? After all, your condemnation could have caused them to suffer loss in real financial terms,potentially tarnishing their reputation and costing them sales. Or do you now think that really, we all make mistakes sometimes? I'm not being cross, I'm just wondering if any of this has impacted on a helpful result, both short term ( you already seemed calmer quickly after posting ) and maybe in a more personal way?

Faith177

I bet in a few years time the two of them will be laughing about this and telling their kids about it.

Could have been worst she could have had the proposal I had. OH proposed in Tesco and because he was broke at the time as it was just after Christmas I had to buy my own ring.

Now that's a rubbish proposal lol

lostinrates

Dimey wrote: »

I was going to say that perhaps we should start afresh and write a modern ceremony relevant to todays values. But that was probably done when the law was passed for gay marriage. I haven't looked at the content/ wording of gay marriage vows but maybe it would be more appealing to non-traditionalists.

My own choice would be mid way between the two but you'd never get me down the aisle again!

Mine was before civil ceremony. Personal I'd see the whole thing reformed so we all had civil ceremonies and faiths could make their own rules about 'marriage' which had no legal standing different to state partnership. I don't know why, a I'm not radical about much else!

Rowingirl

Dimey wrote: »

I was going to say that perhaps we should start afresh and write a modern ceremony relevant to todays values. But that was probably done when the law was passed for gay marriage. I haven't looked at the content/ wording of gay marriage vows but maybe it would be more appealing to non-traditionalists.

For a civil ceremony a couple can write their own vows, ask the registrar to say something or only say the minimum required legally (that they're free to marry followed by agreeing to marry their OH). CofE/traditional vows aren't mandatory nor are exchange of rings, giving away the bride or the bride taking her husband's surname.

JimmyTheWig

LannieDuck wrote: »

I think it's rather a cheek of the manager to offer a discount on the wedding rings, when it's an engagement ring that's causing the trouble. I can understand the annoyance at the offer of money off if the OP's son goes back to spend more...

I might be inclined to use my righteous anger to suggest that the manager apply the offered discount to the engagement ring. If he did, I'd feel the matter had been satisfactorily resolved.

I agree with this.
A free engagement ring seems out of the question.
10% refund on the engagement ring seems reasonable to me.
Accepting the ring back for a full refund (despite the fact that it has had alterations) seems reasonable to me.
A significant (e.g. 50%) discount on the wedding rings would be an alternative. I.e. give the couple an offer they can't refuse and get the chance to show them the typical service they can expect from this shop.

We had a bad experience in a hotel once. Complained and were offered a free bottle of champagne on our next visit. That wasn't enough to tempt us back to a place we weren't impressed with so they may as well not have bothered. It sounds like the discount offered on the wedding rings is in a similar vein.

seven-day-weekend

arbroath_lass wrote: »

It was a tradition, yes, when women were regarded as chattels. Thankfully that has not been the case for a long time.

Although young men still do it. It's a tradition, like getting down on one knee. My friend's daughter's boyfriend asked her father for her hand even though they had been dating for ten years and living together for five years. They are getting married next year.

benb76

Poor Daniel. He seems to have grown up to be a bit of a wuss. Someone should tell him that women love decisive men who can take control of a situation.

As for the compensation question, what a rediculous suggestion to say that the ring should be given for free. I've long thought that, in the modern day, people place too much emphasis on the wedding day and not the marriage. In this case it seems to have extended to the proposal being more important than the lifetime of marriage!

Blue Nile is the best place to buy a ring from by the way - about 30-40% cheaper than the high street for an equivalent quality diamond.

Mojisola

anniec19 wrote: »

My son, Daniel has been with his girlfriend Michelle since they were at college and this November is their 10 year anniversary.

The proposal was a secret to everyone apart from me and Michelle’s dad, who of course Daniel had asked for permission.

We all lied to our partners, including Michelle’s mum, to take a trip to a local established jewellers.

This was answered by Michelle as Daniel was driving. They asked to speak to Mr Cooper, to which Michelle answered “sorry, he's unavailable." The response she received shocked her, “It's @@@@@ here; can you tell him that the ring is ready.” She replied, ”I don’t think you were supposed to tell me that!”

If everything was as secret as you thought, Michelle's reaction would have been "What ring?"