The Trials & Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

time2deal

I think I've now blocked so many people on facebook I don't get any news at all!

Part_Mouse

Ss Come back when you've had a we break, depression and ttc are so hard.

Thanks t2d.

I'm off to bed now, done in for today night all.

chickpea

time2deal wrote: »

I think I've now blocked so many people on facebook I don't get any news at all!

I hate Facebook for this very reason too.

chickpea

time2deal wrote: »

Did AF appear?
.

No, no AF but it's still only CD26. It's a BFN, no doubt about it, but I have trouble accepting it. Just going a bit mad this month.

It doesn't help that I had a very convincing evap line on an IC yesterday. So convincing I broke out a FRER today - BFN, for real.

Sometimes when I think about the reality of it all, it's just too much for my brain to deal with. Quite a bit of suppressed grief I suppose, after losing 2 babies in 5 months on the back of nearly 4 years of TTC, So I'm trying (failing) not to think about it.

Got a rare day and evening to myself, so planning a private pity party...a sofa day, new Stephen King book, lots of coffee, less food (been slack on the diet front recently) and a very early bed is on the cards.

Could I go on the list if you have a moment T2D? Something like:

Chickpea, 40. TTC#2 since 09/09. Mmc Aug 2013 and m/c Dec 2013. Treatment: run out of options, hoping for a miracle.

Have a good weekend, one and all.
x

codemonkey

Does anyone want a DH? Free to a good home.

Warning!! DH massive moan (non ttc related) coming up.

Honestly!! First he makes this resolution to decorate the house. We have to buy a new carpet when we can't really afford it because he wants it done before the new bed is delivered. Yesterday, I took the day off work and cleared out the room, did about a million loads of washing, supervised the tumble drier - all that needs done now is cleaning the walls and paintwork.

He had 2 jobs in all this
1. Take rubbish to tip (as it wont fit in the wheely bin)
2. Get drip cloths from his mum's house (5 minutes away).

Needless to say, the rubbish is still lying where I left it, and the cloths are still at his mum's house. He came in from work yesterday, went on the computer and didn't even cook dinner like he said he would. He's still in bed, having got up at 7am to play football manager, then returned to bed at 9am, so I can't even get on with washing the walls. The dog needs his walk, but I have to wait for the grocery delivery because he wont hear the door (despite his claims of being a light sleeper), and whenever I tell him to get up he moans that he's "tired and cold". I know for a fact he wont make it to his mum's until later because it's her birthday and he sent her flowers and doesn't want to go there until after they've been delivered but he's had all bloody week.

Ok, he's started a new job this week, and the hours are different, but they're the same as mine, and I have a commute on top of that, and I'm still expected to do the majority of the housework, 98% of the cooking, the grocery shopping, all the DIY, most of the dog care, the washing and apparently I'm the only one who can empty or load the dishwasher. I have to find him pants and socks in the morning, he does the ironing, but does more of his stuff than mine, largely because I need to wear most of my stuff through the week, and I do all of this through the brain fog created by my medication. I'll point out that I'm also the higher earner for the moment although we're hoping this will change at some point.

And just to make this ttc related - the whole time it's been on my shoulder. I've had to push it, worry about the opks, hand feed him his vitamins, he didn't want to go to the GP when we did because "you're being dramatic and we've not been trying that long". Despite the fact that I'm being prodded and poked, he's still convinced he's got the rough end of the stick because he's going to do a testicular biopsy (6 days of bed rest afterwards btw), which apparently is much worse than being pumped full of yucky hormones that will turn me into some kind of anti-Christ, having my eggs collected, then if lucky forced back in through my poor, difficult to find cervix. I don't get 6 days of bed rest!!

He is lovely and has some very good qualities but I'm struggling to think of them right now. I also can't be bothered going to try to get him up again because I don't have the energy for an argument. Remind me why I want to have this eejit's baby?

:mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

time2deal

Men are rubbish. They can be ok, but in truth thats probably just to hide their rubbishness!

Sending hugs. Remember there are good days too!

And as an aside, I've drugs aren't too bad I think. The process is undignified, but you totally get over it. Don't let out worry you too much.

The emotional stress of it is another matter mind you.

codemonkey

time2deal wrote: »

Men are rubbish. They can be ok, but in truth thats probably just to hide their rubbishness!

Sending hugs. Remember there are good days too!

And as an aside, I've drugs aren't too bad I think. The process is undignified, but you totally get over it. Don't let out worry you too much.

The emotional stress of it is another matter mind you.

I know. I'm just venting here so I don't go totally crazy at him. I still love him and like his good qualities and everything. He's just annoying!! Does anyone else have the ability to kill an impending argument stone dead by smiling and saying "You are a good person with many endearing qualities"? Even years into our relationship it confuses the hell out of DH and stops me saying something I'd regret because I'm angry.

I'm quite sensitive to hormones and the pill on it's lowest dose turned me into a crazy, weepy, moodswingy, weight gain monster, so who knows what the IVF drugs will do. I cried constantly - when trains were late (they're always late), if I dropped my pen, if I couldn't find something and I remember bursting into tears at work because the person I called to speak to wasn't at their desk. It wasn't even an important call. :rotfl:

As for the dignity - I've had so many internal examinations that that's gone way out the window. I was a competitive swimmer in my teens so am in no way body conscious (walking around in your swimsuit constantly and changing in club rooms will do that for you) so I've never been embarrassed about that anyway. Although I do wonder what the going behind the curtain thing to take your clothes off is all about - they're going to be looking very closely at my hoo-haa anyway, so why hide behind a curtain to take my pants off??

How are you and follies today T2D?

time2deal

They did that yesterday too - the hiding behind the curtain thing. Not had that before, in my other clinic we just chat as I strip. I always just wear a big loose skirt so I only normally remove stockings and undies.

Follies are good. I'm sort of sore around my middle - like I've been doing exercise, and a little back ache, but nothing bad. It's slightly comforting to have some symptoms as before I was feeling totally normal like nothing was happening. I have one deep black bruise on my tummy though. Must have done something strange with one injection. The rest haven't shown any marks.

In ready for Monday. I suspect ec will be Wednesday, then I'm going to take a few days off after et (if we get there this time).

mrshappy

Hugs code, men can be complete and utter tw@ts at times

codemonkey

time2deal wrote: »

They did that yesterday too - the hiding behind the curtain thing. Not had that before, in my other clinic we just chat as I strip. I always just wear a big loose skirt so I only normally remove stockings and undies.

Follies are good. I'm sort of sore around my middle - like I've been doing exercise, and a little back ache, but nothing bad. It's slightly comforting to have some symptoms as before I was feeling totally normal like nothing was happening. I have one deep black bruise on my tummy though. Must have done something strange with one injection. The rest haven't shown any marks.

In ready for Monday. I suspect ec will be Wednesday, then I'm going to take a few days off after et (if we get there this time).

Fingers crossed. I'd love to see you move over to the next board.