The Trials & Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

tea_lover

Think you might be right.

Part_Mouse

Long term ttc sure makes you crazy. No doubt starting my 3 rd round of menopur this week, oh the joys.

Code I hope your dh doesn't delay the appt.

time2deal

tea_lover wrote: »

Can anyone explain why I've spent the past hour looking at nursery curtains? Its cd4 of our millionth cycle, don't think I'm going to have to decorate the spare room any time soon.

Same reason I started wondering if a September baby would be difficult when starting school.

Cause we can't help hoping, even though we know it's crazy.

Rowingirl

tea_lover wrote: »

Can anyone explain why I've spent the past hour looking at nursery curtains? Its cd4 of our millionth cycle, don't think I'm going to have to decorate the spare room any time soon.

Because we can't stop hoping. DH & I decorated the spare 3 years ago and put up Mr Men curtains (just after we moved into our new house).

PM when's your next FS appointment?

time2deal

RG - what are your plans re moving to Australia?

bigmomma051204

Hi All.

Posted the in TTC thread earlier. I think I scare them. So thought I would post in here... because although I really feel like I am out of place in either, as DH is going for SA this week, I feel this is probably more my place now .... cos lets be honest, 3yrs+ at ttc pretty much meets the 12m+ criteria :cool:

So, copied and pasted from the other thread in the hope that my rantyness wont scare you lovely lot as much as it evidently has over there :eek:

Well, last night was interesting :cool:

So, I am CD7 and usually have peak OV on about CD12. OH is going for his SA on Tuesday morning at 9:30am (he has booked "The Room"! Due to being too far away from hospital, rural area etc won't be able to do it at home and take it in in time!)
He doesn't want me to go ... fair enough. So the leaflet says he has to ejaculate no less than 48hrs before the test but then also has to have done it in the 7 days before (if that makes sense?) So, we havent dtd last week as AF was visiting - so had to emergency bd last night, i was happy for him to just erm, do it himself or have some help but he was like "no, i am not wasting any of it - even if it IS useless!" lol.... but then afterwards he got REALLY upset and we were up until 5am (zzzzzz) talking (him crying!!!!!!) about how he is worried it'll come back as having no swimmers there at all... it was a really looooong conversation which didn't really get resolved as of course we just don't know until the results are in! :cool:

Anyway - it made me think of how things change when ur ttc - he has always been a real "mans man" etc and this is so out of character for him... funny what the idea of not being able to "perform a manly duty" can do to them isn't it?! He was saying things like "this is what i was put on the Earth to do, procreate, and now i cant even do that" etc .... bless him Feel bad for him, but also kind of felt like saying "how do u think i have felt, all the time thinking it was MY problem...." He hasn't ever been bothered until its transpired that actually it may be HIM who has the issues rather than me.... I know they have pride etc but Hello, so do women! :cool:

Anyway - rant over, dont really know what my point IS... I feel sad for him being sad... but also kind of feel like I have been doing LOADS towards changing lifestyle etc - I have tried to lose weight, I gave up smoking, started taking vitamins, been poked and prodded and tested every damn drop of wee i produce for OV and pregnancy etc etc, I am the one who has to have AF every month bringing bad news... I am the one who has to bloomin well work out when to DTD and then cajole him if he is tired (lol)..... I bought him a pack of pricey mens concieve plus style vitamins - he has NEVER taken them off his own bat, i ALWAYS have to give him one with water and say "take it" lol.... He won't give up smoking, he still smokes the occasional joint ( :cool: ) - he doesn't drink hardly every so i guess thats something.. but even so - I have done SO much towards getting pregnant and he so very little - and now he is all upset and i am expected to feel bad for him... which i kind of DO, but also feel a bit miffed that i don't get ANY of the reassurances that i had to give him last night during his one "wobble" ....... :cool:

tea_lover

BM - I don't have anything useful to say but just wanted to let you know that I get EXACTLY where you're coming from with that. As we've known for years that I've got endo and PCOS, we both assumed that any issues were on my side. OH wasn't at all interested in any lifestyle changes etc. until the second SA confirmed that the main issues are actually with him. Even now, it's so half*ssed that it really annoys me. He's never smoked, but he refuses to even believe that alcohol has an effect (although to be fair he doesn't drink much, but it's annoying that he thinks he knows better than all the drs). I've also had to buy the vitamins, and I hand him one before his dinner as his 'starter' or he never takes them.

He totally sees it as my problem, and he'll do the minimum possible, and that only with nagging. When we have to go to the hospital he'll say things like "what time do you need to be there"..... really grinds my gears!

Sorry, I said it wasn't useful lol.... just an empathetic rant. Am also v tired today as had horrible freaky dreams all night and am worn out now.

time2deal

tea_lover wrote: »

BM - I don't have anything useful to say but just wanted to let you know that I get EXACTLY where you're coming from with that. As we've known for years that I've got endo and PCOS, we both assumed that any issues were on my side. OH wasn't at all interested in any lifestyle changes etc. until the second SA confirmed that the main issues are actually with him. Even now, it's so half*ssed that it really annoys me. He's never smoked, but he refuses to even believe that alcohol has an effect (although to be fair he doesn't drink much, but it's annoying that he thinks he knows better than all the drs). I've also had to buy the vitamins, and I hand him one before his dinner as his 'starter' or he never takes them.

He totally sees it as my problem, and he'll do the minimum possible, and that only with nagging. When we have to go to the hospital he'll say things like "what time do you need to be there"..... really grinds my gears!

Sorry, I said it wasn't useful lol.... just an empathetic rant. Am also v tired today as had horrible freaky dreams all night and am worn out now.

It's like when my husband 'helps out' with the housework. Like it's my job and he's doing me a favour. TTC wise he is ok now, after a few years, but sometimes I can't help thinking if he hadn't spent years with the silly laptop on his lap then things could be different... but anyway - can't change history.

I had very weird dreams last night too. Woke up quite stressed and even woke DH up to give me a cuddle!

tea_lover

time2deal wrote: »

It's like when my husband 'helps out' with the housework. Like it's my job and he's doing me a favour.

OMG YES!!!!!!!!!!!!! The other day he texted me to tell me he'd washed up! I can only presume it was so I could get his medal ordered.

tea_lover

Third day back at work and already I could kill someone (or several people). If I don't get to have children I should at least get a half-decent job

There has to be more to life than this.