Culture of getting engaged young/ quick

Gloomendoom

EmmaBridgewater wrote: »

P.s. I have nothing against people getting married young (or engaged to be married) what I do find strange is people becoming engaged to be engaged... which is the 'trend' I'm talking about

The funny thing is that I can remember my sister commenting on the same trend of getting engaged to be engaged over thirty years ago. It was triggered by me gauchely asking a newly engaged couple when the wedding was. They looked a bit confused and responded (in a broad Lancashire accent, if it matters) "Married? We've only got engaged."

claire16c

EmmaBridgewater wrote: »

Yeah but that's not what I'm staying, they're just getting engaged indefinitely and not actually getting married.

I have lost count of the amount of posts I have seen today about my lovely fianc!/my lovely ring/ my lovely family... Iyswim.

Friends have said this is happening with their classmates all over the country!

Seems rather weird if they're not planning weddings/marriage.

More show than substance?

Person_one

Higher up? What, taller?

I think you're letting it bother you far too much. If you want to be engaged you could always propose yourself, there's no law that you have to wait for your boyfriend to do it.

silvercar

claire16c wrote: »

Seems rather weird if they're not planning weddings/marriage.

More show than substance?

Facebook status.

I try not to befriend my kids friends on facebook but one or two slip in. One goes from "in a relationship" to " engaged" to "single" to "in a relationship".....in regular intervals. Funny thing is that to the untrained eye the men all look similar.

Most of my circle of friends met their spouses at university and engaged then married soon after. My kids tell me not to expect them to get married until they are at least 30! (They are 23 and 19 now.)

bylromarha

I got married in 1999. I was 22, OH 23. We'd been engaged for 17 months at that point.

Still happily married. Lots of my friends have similar stories. A few of my friends don't. A few of OHs friends were engaged once or twice before getting wed.

Think a lot of people these days don't hear the advice that you just KNOW when you've met the one..." a knowing in your knowing" as a friend describes it...

I'd never had got married as young as I did had I not met OH. As we'd met and fallen in love and knew, what was the point of delaying the inevitable?

I don't hear of many engagements breaking up, but then most of my friends these days have been happily married for 10+ years.

Tiglath

My parents met in 1948 (14 and 18) and married 7 years later. I met DH when I was 31 and we married 3 years later, after just over a year's engagement.

flower24

My grandma got married at 19, as did my mum. I was 24 when I got married but we had two children by the time I was 21

It may seem backwards to some people but our first child wasn't planned, and that's just the way it worked out for us. I wouldn't change a thing, it was lovely having a teeny tiny wedding, it wasn't about having a big day for us it was about us loving each other and our children witnessing that was perfect.

Gillyx

I'm 25 and my partner 26, we have a 20 month old child, we have been together for 5 years. Being engaged to me isn't important, I honestly couldn't care less if I was engaged, or planning a wedding. We've spoken about it and will probably one day, just book the registrar and go get married.

We live together and have a lovely family life, in my opinion. If people want to look down on us because we're not married/had a child out of wedlock, that's up to them, having a ring on my finger or on his, wouldn't change who we are and how we feel.

I used to be all for marriage, but seeing my parents relationship deteriorate after 20 years, made me realise that people change, things change, and a piece of paper isn't going to change that, you're either the type to fight for something, or you're not.

Also, if people want to get engaged and not set a date, leave them to it why does it matter?

Person_one

Gillyx, while I would never look down on you, I would heartily recommend that you get down to the registry office and formalise things for everybody's protection and security. Its not just a ring or a title piece of paper, it makes a huge difference!

Gillyx

Person_one wrote: »

Gillyx, while I would never look down on you, I would heartily recommend that you get down to the registry office and formalise things for everybody's protection and security. Its not just a ring or a title piece of paper, it makes a huge difference!

Oh we will, sometime soon, but moving house recently has meant everything has been pushed on the back burner. Has to be up there with the most stressful things ever