Culture of getting engaged young/ quick

mincepiemonster

Moggins wrote: »

I don't think its fair that people are assuming that people get married young because they are uneducated or lacking ambition. I met my husband when I was 19 and at uni and he was 26 and working (still in same job now). We got engaged the day before our first anniversary and got married the year after when I was 21 and had graduated. We then had our son when I was 22 (I'm 24 now and in November we will have been married three years). Yes having my son has stopped me getting on the career ladder FOR NOW but I am plenty young enough to start when he goes to nursery. I have just as good a social life now as I did before having him. When he's an adult I will still be relatively young so will have time then to do more for myself, all being well. I have no regrets.

Yeah, we both have degrees, and I worked as a registered nurse before having DD. I'm a SAHM for now but DH has a good job for a FTSE 100 company. I am so lucky to have met him so young.

SmallL

I'm engaged and 21 years old. I started dating my OH when we were both 15 and in secondary school.

I get irritated by threads like these that assume its 'too soon'. In my eyes I could have met my OH when I was 15 or 50 and I will still feel the same way and progress our relationship in the same manner.

We only got engaged this year after I graduated, we're likely not to get married until after 2015 when he finishes his masters and is on his PHD.
We would both love to start a family but realistically its not possible until our late twenties when we are financially secure, our 'early' engagement shows our commitment to each other whilst we wait until we are able to afford marriage and children.

pops5588

Moggins wrote: »

I don't think its fair that people are assuming that people get married young because they are uneducated or lacking ambition. I met my husband when I was 19 and at uni and he was 26 and working (still in same job now). We got engaged the day before our first anniversary and got married the year after when I was 21 and had graduated. We then had our son when I was 22 (I'm 24 now and in November we will have been married three years). Yes having my son has stopped me getting on the career ladder FOR NOW but I am plenty young enough to start when he goes to nursery. I have just as good a social life now as I did before having him. When he's an adult I will still be relatively young so will have time then to do more for myself, all being well. I have no regrets.

While getting married young and having kids isn't for me, I would just like to say I don't believe it immediately makes you uneducated or lacking ambition. Only that your ambition is different, and there's no rule anywhere saying everyone's ambition has to be the same! My ambition may be to be a mother one day, I just don't have that maternal instinct yet. Maybe never, who knows! But I certainly respect other people for making their own life choices if they can back it up with a secure, happy family environment!

pollypenny

Met OH when I was 17, and stupidly left school in lower 6 th! He was 21. We married when I was 20' had first child when I was 24, second at 27. Did A-levels and my degree.

Seem to have been married all my life. To be blunt, as I said in another thread last week, we all married early for the sex!

Person_one

Do you think you might just be noticing and thinking about these things a bit more because you've got weddings on the brain though OP?

I've seen you post quite a bit about your hypothetical wedding despite not being engaged.

**Patty**

I don't think it's anything to do with *culture*.

If i went through my school leavers year, i would say a good proportion of them have never left the small area they were born, brought up and went to school in.

Personally, i find that weird. Why would you not want to experience anything else or live/work in another area or even travel the world? But that's their choice.

Out of a school year that's about what...200 pupils? In 5 years, 10% have become engaged. That's only a rate of 4 per year. I don't think that's anything out of the ordinary.:)

Dunroamin

EmmaBridgewater wrote: »

To answer a few questions.

Dunroamin - I graduated this year (as have many of my school year so free from education, few can afford a masters at the mo, I actually only know one person doing a masters). I think social media helps you stay 'in contact' with way more people, whilst many of them I haven't seen for five years, I can still tell how they're doing. Of my uni level friends no one is engaged. I'm not from anywhere 'chavvy'.. quite the opposite really.

I'm not saying you have to be uneducated to get married - I'm just stating the facts in my specific experience of the 'engagees' (I've just made up a word...)

P.s. I have nothing against people getting married young (or engaged to be married) what I do find strange is people becoming engaged to be engaged... which is the 'trend' I'm talking about

I thought it could be regional but my best friend from uni says the same thing is happening with her class mates, with alarming frequency.

I think you must be muddling me with another poster - all I commented was about my own experience.

claire16c

Duplicate post

claire16c

I think the average age for a first marriage is about 29 for women and 31 for men. It's much older than say 30 years back.

Im 29 and I'd say about half my friends are married, and half not. Only 2 got married very young and that was for religious reasons. Everyone else was at least 26 or so.

Maybe you just live in an odd place

paulineb_2

People can get engaged for as long as they like in my opinion. Its their life.

I know someone who has been engaged 17 years, its entirely up to them.