Other girl texting and calling my bf... what would you do??

FBaby

Thirdly, he himself has said to me he thinks she is inapproriate and cheeky. He says this is fine as he knows the boundaries even if she doesnt. So i only have his word for it. He has also told me her bf isnt happy with it.

This is the one part I find most concerning. So he DOES agree that her behaviour is inappropriate as not acting as a friend but more? Where is the limit between cheeky and flirty? He is the one mentioning boundaries, as in HE would be able to stop it if it went to far. All this clearly tells me that he believes she would go for more than friendship with him and that not only it doesn't bother him, but he seems to enjoy it to the point of lying to OP about meeting with her. Her boyfriend not being happy with it just confirms this.

I really feel for you OP. I personally would go for the dinner together because however awkward, I would need to see with a closer eye how she acted and whether I could substantiate my gut feeling.

bagpussbear

vix84 wrote: »

Thirdly, he himself has said to me he thinks she is inapproriate and cheeky. He says this is fine as he knows the boundaries even if she doesnt. So i only have his word for it. He has also told me her bf isnt happy with it.

And yes, he did initially respect my wishes and told her to back off, tho at that point it wasnt a sore point or a source of arguments... it has become more a sore point as he has gone back on his word and she clearly hasnt taken the hint.... or he lied and didnt say anything in the first place.... either way i have every right to feel !!!!ed off so thanks to those who have stuck up for me, in particular tinkeberbell and fbaby! I cant be bothered to name and shame all the idiots jumping on the bunny boiler bandwagon!!!

A couple of thoughts re. the points in bold:

But what are the boundaries in your relationship OP? Seems like he has crossed them already if you feel the way you do about the matter.

I'm guessing he didn't go back on his word, like you suggest he never told her to back off in the first place. He enjoys the attention.

I do feel for you OP, this is not looking good.

Personally, iIf I were in your shoes, I'd be having a serious conversation with him now and say as far as you are concerned, he has overstepped the boundaries of what you find acceptable contact with a female friend, and that you expect him to back right off if he has any respect for you and cares for this relationship, as you are not prepared to put up with it. Hopefully he may realise that he may lose you and makes adjustments. But there is also the possibility that he may be more emotionally 'into' her than you realise, and it may be you getting your marching orders instead!

Stephb1986_2

If he finds it innapropriate too why does he respond to her? Surely if he thought it was that bad he wouldn't respond then she might get the message.

Steph x

lillie_put

vix84
I have read through all the reply's some have given you good advice
an others as you said were arguing amongst themselves
not sure how that is meant to help you but some just enjoy having a good old rant an rave let all those comments go over your head, its not as if they you helped at all
your bf in my opinion is enjoying the attention getting off this other woman an doesn't really seem bothered it upsets you him txting her etc why txt her if he thinks she is childish? He needs to grow a set an tell her to do one
I do understand how you are feeling but I will not go into why as this post is about You AN not others experiences,
you are getting it all off your chest good it helps I don't think you are a bunny boiler I think you are hurt and upset how your bf is being his lack of feelings to how this is making you feel
Head up hunni big smile every time you see him he speaks you keep smiling let him wonder what you are so happy about just turn the tables on him I do hope you can get this all sorted out take care
lillie_put

paulineb_2

Idiots jumping on a bunny boiler bandwagon?

Seriously why should people be named and shamed.

As I said before, you post a thread on here, you take the bad with the good. You can take the points you agree with and do something about it, or maybe you can take the points you disagree with and maybe take a step back when you are feeling a bit calmer and perhaps come to the conclusion why some posters might have said what they did.

I dont come on here to call people idiots, its a shame the thread has just turned into people taking pot shots at one another, because a lot of people were trying to help, even the ones who maybe didnt agree with you.

By the way, I respect anyone who has the balls to put a thread up on here because it cant be nice when people are saying things that might touch a raw nerve, but that is the chance you take when you post something on any forum.

Idiots, wow, well thats some people told eh?

Person_one

Is calling someone a 'bunny boiler' any better than calling them an idiot?

justme111

She was not called bunny boiler. She was in a very nice way advised not to fb that woman otherwise she might end up looking like one.

nodiscount

justme111 wrote: »

She was not called bunny boiler. She was in a very nice way advised not to fb that woman otherwise she might end up looking like one.

Somebody did 'imply' she might be. Fair enough, the OP wasn't directly called one but the implication was there.

justme111

nodiscount wrote: »

Somebody did 'imply' she might be. Fair enough, the OP wasn't directly called one but the implication was there.

Umm
I see. So op got offended with possible implication and called people who.might have thought so of her idiots.

pops5588

OP, I think a couple of pages back someone suggested that you refer to her as "the stalker" in some kind of attempt at humour?

I would really really strongly advise against this!! Stalker is a very strong term, and could just feed into the wedge that she may or may not be trying to put between you and your OH.

I remembered yesterday actually that when the boyfriend and I first got together there was someone lurking in the wings in the form of a "friend" she tried a few sneaky tricks and she gave it a good 6 months of effort but she has mysteriously disappeared since...good friend eh?

I know it sounds hard but really the best thing you can do is to maintain your dignity. I kept my cool, I made an effort to smile politely and chat to her even though I knew her game. Except it isn't a game to you and it certainly wasn't to me. That's the problem with these people. So there is no point in playing games back, you just feed the drama that they crave.