Other girl texting and calling my bf... what would you do??

thorsoak

In your original post, you say that you have not met her, nor are you likely to now, as it has been such a contentious subject. I would ask - does she know of your existence?

lostinrates

FBaby wrote: »

How many friends can you make that you communicate daily with? I don't have any friends I communicate daily with, not even weekly I think. The only people I text/speak to daily is my husband and children.

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No children here and husband doesn't live with me five days a week!

Some times we copy him on our emails and he essentially does a man grunt email back.:rotfl:


There are very few people in life you can email or talk to daily IMO. Or even the sort who you contact rarely but know intimately in any case and can call on at any time. If you make more than a hand full of friends like those in a life time then either you are exceptionally blessed or sadly deluded.

Person_one

fluffnutter wrote: »

Sorry. Lost interest here. Are you really this shallow?

Have some sympathy, she's probably feeling very threatened and insecure. Its pretty common to blame the 'other woman' and demonise her, its easier than having to face up to the truth about your partner.

vix84

Hi all, wow i left this thread yesterday as i had to go out and come back today and the number of posts has doubled whilst you all argue amongst yourselves!!! :-s I havent got time to respond to everyone individually but i will say a big thanks to everyone for sharing their experiences and all the differing viewpoints have really helped... i expected a few harsh truths but the bunny boiler comments are way off the mark!

So just to re-iterate - he has lots of female friends and has done from the day i met him. Never been an issue as i know and trust them all and he doesnt hide them from me. Also they dont text him constantly. This one particular girl is different for the reasons i have stated in my original post. This is what raises alarm bells.

Secondly i havent ever accused him of cheating and im fairly certain he is not "physically" cheating... so for those people who think thats what this post is about then youve really missed the point.

Thirdly, he himself has said to me he thinks she is inapproriate and cheeky. He says this is fine as he knows the boundaries even if she doesnt. So i only have his word for it. He has also told me her bf isnt happy with it.

And finally, like i said in my original post, i dont think she is out to "steal my man" I think she is bascially the female version of him, wants to have her cake and eat it, enjoys the attention and the flirting behind her bf back.

I am bothered about the fact my bf is putting this friendship above everything else regardless of my feelings. Regardless of whether anything dodgy is going on, i am feeling left out in the cold and that much i am not imagining.

And yes, he did initially respect my wishes and told her to back off, tho at that point it wasnt a sore point or a source of arguments... it has become more a sore point as he has gone back on his word and she clearly hasnt taken the hint.... or he lied and didnt say anything in the first place.... either way i have every right to feel !!!!ed off so thanks to those who have stuck up for me, in particular tinkeberbell and fbaby! I cant be bothered to name and shame all the idiots jumping on the bunny boiler bandwagon!!!

vix84

...and yes she is well aware of my existence.... also im not expecting him to cut off all contact, it is more a case of not wanting him to continue to encourage her or let her get so involved in every aspect of his daily life at the expense of my relationship.

Errata

It takes two to tango, and the dance won't stop until one of them leaves the dance floor, but if he's enjoying the attention and the flirting it might prove hard to give it up.

JanCee

Vix84 - Start referring to her as the stalker. Is that your stalker texting again? How many times has the stalker been in touch today? Is she stalking anyone else at work or is it just you?

Sometimes making a joke out of someone like that reduces their impact.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

And, on that note, I'm off to meet a very dear male friend for a catch up and natter.

And texted The Fella just before he finished work to see if he wanted to drop into the pub where we were, on the way home. He did, had one drink and then went off to do what he has to do this evening.

No stress, no possessiveness, no hassle. And that's the way a healthy relationship should work.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

JanCee wrote: »

Vix84 - Start referring to her as the stalker. Is that your stalker texting again? How many times has the stalker been in touch today? Is she stalking anyone else at work or is it just you?

Sometimes making a joke out of someone like that reduces their impact.

Those passive-aggressive comments really peed me off when I was on the receiving end of them. They sound bitchy and spiteful.

clairec79

FBaby wrote: »

How many friends can you make that you communicate daily with? I don't have any friends I communicate daily with, not even weekly I think. The only people I text/speak to daily is my husband and children.

Had you asked me 6 months ago I'd have said none, but I do have a friend (work colleague) who we do chat/message/text daily - to the extent that both of our husbands refer to each other as 'your girlfriend', we've known each other about 18 months but only been really close for the past 4 months or so