can we avoid care home charges

maman

Nicki wrote: »

This post and the ones which have preceded it is the best argument that has been put forward for the provision of "free" old people's homes for those who aren't prepared to pay for themselves, and a choice of different homes for those of us who are. Just imagine being stuck in a home sharing communal space with a resident whose repeated contributions to any conversation where anyone did not fully agree with her were along these lines :eek:

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: Thank goodness those of us who are lucky enough to not need care or have made provision to pay our way will be spared that.

spaniel_dog wrote: »

what an evil thing to say I am currently going through chemo and its not pleasant, are you sure you dont want a go

Oh come on, that's a cheap shot. I don't know you in RL (none of us do) and maybe you're a bit irrational/upset because of your diagnosis and treatment but surely you understand that it was just an analogy.

spaniel_dog wrote: »

thought I had remember clicking on the 'thanks tick' it was one of the few useful comments, not use to all the symbols and buttons to tick first time used this site, will be the last

Promises! Promises!

SueC_2

maman wrote: »

Oh come on, that's a cheap shot. I don't know you in RL (none of us do) and maybe you're a bit irrational/upset because of your diagnosis and treatment but surely you understand that it was just an analogy.

But you've 'thanked' the comment?

mjdh1957

My partner is currently undergoing chemotherapy and his concerns have been making sure his will is sorted and thinking about hospices rather than old-age care homes.

thorsoak

mjdh1957 wrote: »

My partner is currently undergoing chemotherapy and his concerns have been making sure his will is sorted and thinking about hospices rather than old-age care homes.

Precisely. I know when my OH was faced with chemo, that thought was first and foremost in all our minds and would be the first point made in any worries/concerns about the future.

The fact that "chemo" is trotted out after so many posts just does not ring true - and belittles and trivialises what mjdh1957 and my family - and so many others - have gone through/are going through.

lostinrates

The thing is if cancer and chemo is relevant, as OP can see, its not a 'unique' situation to be in.

I do know people who get very angry and irrational about their mortality, I'd say I do at times, whereas most of the time I and what has been described as bonechillingly sanguine about it. Last year when something unexpected happened in my health I became pretty irrational for a while. Shrug. I'm always the first to make a joke, and appointments with consultants are, IME, full of using analogy to explain pain and how things are being handled. Tbf, most of my consultants struggle with me sense of gritty humour at times:)

People are unpredictable. If its not true it doesn't mean they are well, IYSWIM. And if it is it doesn't change my opinions made in the thread.

margaretclare

Thank you, Pollypenny. Undergoing chemo is not nice, and that's the understatement of the century. We've recently observed this with DH's cousin - they grew up as lads together - and we've visited consistently since this whole thing blew up 3 years ago, acute myeloid leukaemia. Chemo is a poison which is intended to kill off all the 'bad' cells, but it can't do that without killing the 'good' cells as well. So, the immune system is knocked out putting the person at extreme risk of any passing infection. After being declared in long-term remission a little while ago, blood and bone marrow tests (which he'd have to have for life) revealed that it had all come back. Sooner or later someone is going to say 'enough is enough' and, DH says, if it had been him he'd have said that some time ago. 'Let's spend what we have, go round the world, see what we want to see while we still can, live while we're still alive'. And I would have gone along with that, because it's his body, his decision. Cousin won't do any such thing because his wife is still hoping for a miracle.

Having said all that, I am amazed by anyone who worries about going into a care home. DH and I are of advanced age now, a couple of years off 80 when - we reckon - we'll be able to define ourselves as officially 'old'. And we haven't considered a care home yet!

maman

SueC wrote: »

But you've 'thanked' the comment?

fat finger syndrome, meant to only go for 'quote' button.

Thanks for pointing it out, now withdrawn.

spaniel_dog

thorsoak wrote: »

Precisely. I know when my OH was faced with chemo, that thought was first and foremost in all our minds and would be the first point made in any worries/concerns about the future.

The fact that "chemo" is trotted out after so many posts just does not ring true - and belittles and trivialises what mjdh1957 and my family - and so many others - have gone through/are going through.

I do not lie about something so serious and hope you can live with yourself for even thinking,cant believe so many horrible people on this site, you are as bad as those who use cancer and chemo as an analogy

thorsoak

I can live with myself - sadly my dear OH did not survive chemo - and I lost him after almost 50 years. That is why I feel so strongly when someone like you comes on, starts posting and not until POST 221 does the "fact" that you are "undergoing chemo" raise its ugly head.

I know, that when my DOH started chemotherapy, it was the first thought in my head and heart in the morning, the last thought in my head and heart at night. A trawl through my posts would show this to be true. It's almost three years ago since he was diagnosed and started chemo to try and fight the cancer.

If you have got cancer, and are in fact undergoing chemo, why are you not claiming DLA/AA - why have you not been in contact with Macmillan? There are volunteers in all the Chemotherapy Units that I know - I've just started a volunteer training course with them.

spaniel_dog

thorsoak wrote: »

I can live with myself - sadly my dear OH did not survive chemo - and I lost him after almost 50 years. That is why I feel so strongly when someone like you comes on, starts posting and not until POST 221 does the "fact" that you are "undergoing chemo" raise its ugly head.

I know, that when my DOH started chemotherapy, it was the first thought in my head and heart in the morning, the last thought in my head and heart at night. A trawl through my posts would show this to be true. It's almost three years ago since he was diagnosed and started chemo to try and fight the cancer.

If you have got cancer, and are in fact undergoing chemo, why are you not claiming DLA/AA - why have you not been in contact with Macmillan? There are volunteers in all the Chemotherapy Units that I know - I've just started a volunteer training course with them.

words are beginning to fail me, the only reason cancer and chemo came into the conversation was a previous post (about page 12) who made fun and lite of chemo, I spoke out in anger at that and the subject arose I have never made it known through any my posts what my health issue is, I do not need you to tell about benefits, I have not made out I am desperate for money, I am very aware of Macmillan I have personal friends who are nurses and very senior managers at that wonderful unit, I doubt they are aware one of their volunteers can be so insensitive posting on open forums such remarks, go back to read my first post that was more along lines of sorting out future not asking for sympathy, I would say you have a lot to learn in your training would suggest first subject should be tact and keeping of these sites if you cant control your thoughts and views