9 year old girl sharing bed with dad

Strapped

unholyangel wrote: »

Going to play devils advocate here....

How did this man act? How do you think abusers act? They're not so easy to spot you know. Even those living in the same house as the abuser and victim are usually clueless.

I dont think OP should be blasted for having concerns - if memory serves the OP mentioned nothing about abuse at all, just whether it was acceptable/healthy/normal. It was other posters that brought up the abuse angle.

I also recall the OP saying he has a 2 bedroom house. So daughter is not sleeping beside him out of necessity as so many seem to have presumed.

So? We have 4 bedrooms, but when my husband is working away, one of my sons often sleeps in our bed with me instead of their own bed. (I'm female). Quick, someone call social services!

unholyangel

Strapped wrote: »

So? We have 4 bedrooms, but when my husband is working away, one of my sons often sleeps in our bed with me instead of their own bed. (I'm female). Quick, someone call social services!

Quite different mummy or daddy giving comfort now and again compared to sharing the same bed every night.

Have no idea why you included that you're female. Is it somehow relevant to what I have posted?

daisiegg

unholyangel wrote: »

Quite different mummy or daddy giving comfort now and again compared to sharing the same bed every night.

Have no idea why you included that you're female. Is it somehow relevant to what I have posted?

But I don't think it is 'every night' because she doesn't live with her dad. So maybe she is uncomfortable in her dad's house and needs comfort when she is there!

peachyprice

unholyangel wrote: »

Quite different mummy or daddy giving comfort now and again compared to sharing the same bed every night.

What, you mean a bit like when a child of separated parents stays at her dads, which according to many on this site, normal access is one overnight stay every 2 weeks?

Again, you're making things up, nowhere did OP say it was every night. It could be once a week, once a month, once a year for all you know.

Strapped

unholyangel wrote: »

Quite different mummy or daddy giving comfort now and again compared to sharing the same bed every night.

Have no idea why you included that you're female. Is it somehow relevant to what I have posted?

It's relevant to this thread that I am a different gender to the child.

pinknfluffy0

When am not home my 9 year old loves sleeping with her daddy, I know when we were separated for 18 months and she lived with him she nearly always shared his bed.

Lozzy88

When my parents first split up all my dad could afford to rent was a one bedroomed flat and there was 4 of us that used to stop over at the same time, so my sisters shared a bed, my brother had his own bed and I shared with my dad (I was the youngest) everyone wore some kind of pjs/joggie bottoms t-shirt for bed, we all stopped over Friday ,Saturday ,sunday going home early Monday morning every week I loved it, it was like a mass sleepover every weekend. He eventually managed to get a bigger placed but he stayed in that one bedroomed flat for 3 years happy days.

I think its fine, if she is in a place that she is not quite used to I am sure it will be comforting for her.

sunnyone

Strapped wrote: »

So? We have 4 bedrooms, but when my husband is working away, one of my sons often sleeps in our bed with me instead of their own bed. (I'm female). Quick, someone call social services!

My husband was working away 5 or 6 nights per week until he became very ill and my son slept in my bed with me when his dad was away, he still would if I didnt now sleep in a hospital bed, he is 17 now and he is very comfortable snuggling up to me and his dad.

Someone upset us a few weeks ago because they felt that they had to mention that "its wrong" for my son to kiss me on the lips and cuddle me (he wont do it in public now), we are comfortable showing our affection and its definatly not wrong to have a loving, close family. My son always tells me he loves me too, is that wrong?

I had the pleasure of my son coming into my room to use the phone a few weeks ago, he had just awoken and was in his boxers, he had a "morning glory" we joked about it, I told him that his mother dosnt need to see things like that and he said since ive had two kids and ive been married to his dad for over 20 It cant have been the first time ive seen things like that, I retorted that that dosnt mean I was to see him like that!

Thats normal family banter, there was no embarassment to either of us but I let him know that I would rather nor see him like that again, it might happen but he will try to prevent it if he can.

shegirl

Strapped wrote: »

So? We have 4 bedrooms, but when my husband is working away, one of my sons often sleeps in our bed with me instead of their own bed. (I'm female). Quick, someone call social services!

My son,14 (severe autistic and much younger than his years,hence his desire I guess) likes to climb into my bed and sleep with me,quite often..doesn't always get it though as I need some space!I don't find it inappropriate,he's my son.

And,taking a bit of role reversal,being a teenage lad full of hormones he gets erections too.It's rare for me to notice them if he's slept in my bed,only when he's being a wally some mornings and jumping on me!

zaksmum

My friend (and her family) still lives with her father who's 76 and my friend's son is 10 and has Asperger's.

The boy gets into his grandad's bed every night for a cuddle and ends up sleeping there the rest of the night.

The boy wrote of this in his book at school. He said he goes to grandad's bed every night when everyone else is asleep and grandad gives him special cuddles.

The school took it all very seriously.

Mum and son were interviewed separately and grandad had to answer questions too.

Once the school accepted there had been nothing sexual going on it all calmed down, but the school did make it clear that they had considered involving social services and that their advice was to discontinue the co sleeping right away.

A massive overreaction...but I suppose in these times you can never be too vigilant.