Christmas with divorced parents

NAR

studentuk1 wrote: »

What I'm thinking at the moment is to book a few days away with my mum after Christmas. She's always wanted to go to Reykjavik in Iceland, so may book 3 days away after xmas, and spend xmas day with my sisters.

Sounds like an excellent plan. Regarding your mum's "lonliness" what you have to realise this is largely of her choosing. Your parents have been divorced for quite a while now, so why has your mother not tried to find someone else?
It is not your role to fill the void. (Sorry if that sounds harsh). Your role as her son is to provide a different type of love IYKWIM.

DigForVictory

Just in case noone's mentioned it yet, your mum has done a splendid job. You come over as a wonderful son any mother would be proud to acknowledge. These days, that she couldn't stay married to your father is one of those things.
That you want to share your little sisters' Christmas Day is delightful.
So even as you make plans that may or may not include her in full or in part this year & try to pick your way through the minefield of family hopes & wishes & expectations, consider taking a minute to reassure her that based on the evidence available, she done good.

duchy

Brighton_belle wrote: »

She's probably only 50, not 85. I should think pity from your child at only 50 might be a bit depressing too. And she has the chance to go elsewhere according to the OP.

Exactly
She's a grown woman with a mind of her own.
If she doesn't want to be alone she has other options.
Not sure why the son is asking if he's not going to believe the reply though

Speaking as a 50 something I do have a fantasy that one Christmas day I can have a totally me day....no turkey, no having to be Chrismassy-eat all my favourite foods and have a day of solitude and spoiling myself all alone LOL Maybe the OP's Mum has the same fantasy

juniper_berry

My parent's divorced when I was young and they understood that my sister and I wanted a special day with each of them.

For me Christmas day has always been at mums then boxing day we would go over to my dad's (where my half brother lived) and celebrate like it was still Christmas Day. We used to alternate but my preference is with my mum.

If you didn't go to your dads could you ask him to maybe keep some presents back so the girls can open them on the same day as you? That's what our family used to do. Give the kids presents from family to open on christmas day then when my sister and I came over, and we were all together, we did our family presents.

Alternatively why not go there this Christmas and do the next one with your mum.

I can see it's hard for you, my OH used to be just him and his mum and he's spent the last few years at my family's for Christmas. However, his mum does need more independence as she spent many years relying on my OH to be the replacement partner. As other people have said the girls are only young once and your mum has been offered a place to spend Christmas.

Go with what you want not what suits everyone else.