update to husband having a texting "affair"

Tiddlywinks

Sorry to hear you're still unhappy.

What are you going to do about it? You need a plan. Don't just sit there and let life happen... make a decision and move.

Don't let Christmas get in the way... why do you need to be there for the holiday? You could use the time off to start a new life.

Person_one

Oh dear, I'm so sorry to hear you haven't felt able to leave yet.

What is it that's stopping you? You aren't happy, you want the relationship to be over, you feel its already over, why are you still there?

harrys_nan

Right, it's now to shift your butt into gear and start sorting out your life, do you want to stay this unhappy for ever?
Start working out much money you have in the bank, start looking for somewhere to live. Have you any money for a deposit so you can rent somewhere? Have you anyone you can stay with until you can put plans into action?
Only you can get your self into a better place, you don't have to live like this. I know it will be hard, it took me a long time to get over my broken marriage but I did.
Please look at every option you have, you deserve a better life than the one you have, but it's up to you, x

Jobseeeker

Try and save as much money as possible just now (in an account in your name only) so you can start a new life and take your cat with you.

tiger_eyes

rocketqueen wrote: »

Think xmas approaching is just making me sad about the fact it looks like this will be our last together.

This could be the first Christmas of your new life - not the last Christmas of your old one.

unicorn1984

rocketqueen wrote: »

I cant talk to him about it as, as soon as I mention how I feel he starts crying, saying he's sorry, telling me he cant live without me etc. This might all mean a bit more to me if he was more concerned about me the rest of the time, but he's only like this if I try to talk the rest of the time he shows relative indifference towards me.

An example is Saturday, I worked 8-8 he was at home. I got home he'd cooked his own meal and not left me any, he was playing the xbox when I got in and barely even acknowledged I was home. I tried to talk to him about my day and he huffed at me because he had to pause the game. Think I'd been home over hour before he turned it off. (Not that I care he's playing xbox, but then he tells me how much he hates me working as he misses me.)

He's only sorry when I try to talk to him and he doesn't think he's going to like what I have to say.

THIS IS MY EX!!!! Almost identical!! I had said to him I wanted to leave and I wasn't happy. We agreed we needed to talk when I got home, I bathed our son, fed him, put him to bed and went into the lounge and he sat on his Xbox, didn't even glance at me and after 5 minutes when I said we need to talk, he said "let me finish this game first"..... I told him I was done, didn't have the energy to carry on anymore, (this was going on for almost 2 years, it wasnt an overnight thing) and he told me to get out of the house and go see a friend, that he would look after our son for the night. Then the next day I came home to a note saying sorry I wont do it again, and a tatty bunch of flowers. When I told him it was over for definate, he didnt even fight. Just went out with his mates.

The fact he has been caught out cheating (did you find out if anything sexual happened? I didn't see anything in the thread, or did it happen more than once?)

Oakie

If either of you wanted the relationship to continue ,then your wedding anniversary would of been the perfect time to re-affirm this.

To me it sounds as if both of you know that the relationship is over.But you are both waiting for the other to act first.

Wishing you all the best.

tayforth

tiger_eyes wrote: »

This could be the first Christmas of your new life - not the last Christmas of your old one.

^^^ This! With bells on!

Honey, come on. Why are you still there? You're miserable and stressed, I bet it's not doing your health any good.

What are your plans for Christmas? There are still two weeks to go. You can dump his useless a$$ sooner rather than later, imagine the relief!! Then clear off to your family for the festive period and breathe a huge sigh of relief.

We're all behind you xxx

harrys_nan

tayforth wrote: »

^^^ This! With bells on!

Honey, come on. Why are you still there? You're miserable and stressed, I bet it's not doing your health any good.


We're all behind you xxx

This ^^^^, my thoughts exactly

Reams

rocketqueen wrote: »

Hello everyone

thought I'd update you all. I'm still back living with my husband, but things are still bad. He forgot our wedding anniversary at the weekend and we've both been off work for few days and I've been ill, so stuck in each others pockets.

We haven't had any kind of intimate relationship for months now and I'm really missing hugs and cuddling. But he's just not same man to me any more. I cant imagine its ever going to go back to way it was.

Think xmas approaching is just making me sad about the fact it looks like this will be our last together.


I don't feel strong anymore, but know in my heart its definitely over.

Sorry for such a "down" post but things have got on top of me.

It's not a down post, it's how it is.

You should be pleased with yourself that you tried and tried and tried to make it work. Far better than walking out at the first hurdle. You can always say you did your best.

Are you staying for Christmas? I couldn't do it with the false jollity etc.

There are so many sad threads here tonight, and I guess there will be more after Christmas.

Maybe some of us can organise something? Not to patronise but be here in case of emergency? Yes/No?