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Girlfriend of Eight Years Left Me - Just Bought A House
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She has agreed to pay half of all the monthly costs that she originally contractually agreed to, basically the mortgage, council tax, insurance etc, while I will pay all "consumables" like the bills/TV/broadband/car/fuel etc.So she is paying mortgage and council tax on a house she does not live in and you pay your broadband and fuel ? Well I can think about one or two reasons why she might wanted out ..
Not so, she and he are paying half the mortgage and insurance (CT maybe open to further debate) while he is paying all the living cost bills.0 -
Don't hold out any hopes. It was quite reprehensible of her to let the house purchase move forward and ditch you immediately. She's a quitter and even if you get back together, you'll probably spend too much energy worrying about whehter she will quit again. maybe you have subconciously been aware of something hence the OCD.Just wanted to check in with updates here.
I spoke to my ex (still feels awful saying that) a few times via email over the past few days and she has agreed to delay the sale until February at the earliest when we can market to mortgaging buyers rather than cash buyers only. Hopefully the recent economic trend will continue and prices may continue to rise, minimising the impact of penalties and legal costs which will still need to be paid.
She has agreed to pay half of all the monthly costs that she originally contractually agreed to, basically the mortgage, council tax, insurance etc, while I will pay all "consumables" like the bills/TV/broadband/car/fuel etc.
Whilst still not exactly the ideal outcome, it's probably the most appropriate option at this stage. I'm now desperately trying to leapfrog my way up the career ladder to see if I could position myself to take on the house myself next year, but at least this has bought me some time to do so.
Unfortunately it hasn't helped with how I'm feeling about her, she was actually pretty personable during our interactions which just made me miss her even more.
As for selling the house, get an agent in before Christmas and put it on the market in January. Even if you get an immediate acceptable offer, completion won't take place before the 6 months anyway. Doing this early may actually buy you some leeway from her to leave the house on for longer to get the best price. Which may give you more time to improve your finances.You might as well ask the Wizard of Oz to give you a big number as pay a Credit Referencing Agency for a so-called 'credit-score'0 -
More likely 3 months and occasionally 2. It's only 6 months if there are huge problems and people are seriously messed around.Even if you get an immediate acceptable offer, completion won't take place before the 6 months anyway.I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once0 -
Don't hold out any hopes. It was quite reprehensible of her to let the house purchase move forward and ditch you immediately. She's a quitter and even if you get back together, you'll probably spend too much energy worrying about whehter she will quit again. maybe you have subconciously been aware of something hence the OCD.
People are allowed to end relationships they don't want to be in anymore! There doesn't have to be a 'bad guy' in every break up.
Do you think she should have stayed with him forever because they'd bought a house?0 -
I am not suggesting that a sale will take 6 months. It is a reference to the 6 month rule for money laundering.Brighton_belle wrote: »More likely 3 months and occasionally 2. It's only 6 months if there are huge problems and people are seriously messed around.You might as well ask the Wizard of Oz to give you a big number as pay a Credit Referencing Agency for a so-called 'credit-score'0 -
I'm glad you asked that.Person_one wrote: »Do you think she should have stayed with him forever because they'd bought a house?
She should not have gone ahead with the purchase because she must have known she was not going to stay with him.
You are completely at the wrong end of this.You might as well ask the Wizard of Oz to give you a big number as pay a Credit Referencing Agency for a so-called 'credit-score'0 -
I'm glad you asked that.
She should not have gone ahead with the purchase because she must have known she was not going to stay with him.
You are completely at the wrong end of this.
I don't know how you can be so sure.
Why would she have gone ahead with the purchase if she knew she was ending the relationship? What was in it for her? She hasn't gained anything.0 -
She must have had her doubts. People do things when they have their doubts and cause bigger problems as a result.Person_one wrote: »I don't know how you can be so sure.
Why would she have gone ahead with the purchase if she knew she was ending the relationship? What was in it for her? She hasn't gained anything.You might as well ask the Wizard of Oz to give you a big number as pay a Credit Referencing Agency for a so-called 'credit-score'0 -
She must have had her doubts. People do things when they have their doubts and cause bigger problems as a result.
True, my friend married somebody she was having doubts about and left him within 6 months.Make £2025 in 2025
Prolific £841.95, Octopoints £6.64, TCB £456.58, Tesco Clubcard challenges £89.90, Misc Sales £321, Airtime £60, Shopmium £52.74, Everup £95.64 Zopa CB £30
Total (1/11/25) £1954.45/£2025 96%
Make £2024 in 2024
Prolific £907.37, Chase Int £59.97, Chase roundup int £3.55, Chase CB £122.88, Roadkill £1.30, Octopus ref £50, Octopoints £70.46, TCB £112.03, Shopmium £3, Iceland £4, Ipsos £20, Misc Sales £55.44Total £1410/£2024 70%Make £2023 in 2023 Total: £2606.33/£2023 128.8%0 -
I was reluctant to reply here since I don't want the thread to just turn into drama.
@Justme - Thanks for suggesting that I'm the type of person who demands that my other half supports me. That is quite untrue and couldn't be further from the reality. She openly accepted that she signed into a legally binding contract (the mortgage) in which she is obliged to pay her share until she is no longer legally associated with the property. She has offered to pay the council tax and insurance for the same reason. The bills, broadband etc are being paid for by me.
As for changing my previous problems, I completely agree that demonstrable action is the only evidence of a change. It's just a shame that I cannot show her the changes because we're obviously no longer together. I am far from 'perfect' but I'm a definite improvement on the guy I'd become.
She has also openly admitted that she should never have signed the mortgage as she was indeed having doubts about our relationship at the time.
I appreciate that I've been no angel in all of this, but there certainly hasn't been a "bad guy" in the breakup. Perhaps that is what has made it so tough, neither of us have any reason to be particularly hostile, so it's up to us to just slowly let prior feelings fade.0
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