Girlfriend of Eight Years Left Me - Just Bought A House

Person_one

C22DTJ wrote: »

Good point.

I guess a big part of me just misses the female company, and all that comes along with it, love, companionship, and of course sex. I mean, it's not like we had a ruthless break that left me terrified of women or indeed hating them. Feels odd to not have that part of my life there anymore.

Its about 5 minutes since you broke up! Work on feeling comfortable in your own company, on not needing female attention, it'll stand you in better stead in the long run whether that's single or with someone new.

Most women who have got to their late twenties without pairing off are likely to be pretty self sufficient and independent themselves, and not thrilled at the prospect of a needy man! (I'm speaking as a single 29 year old woman )

justme111

This. Of course would be wonderful if we all had company always but often it happens that we are not in a good place to have it despite wanting it.
Besides you are not over your ex , it would been not an.honourable thing to do to date someone else.

Softasputty

Person_one wrote: »

Its about 5 minutes since you broke up! Work on feeling comfortable in your own company, on not needing female attention, it'll stand you in better stead in the long run whether that's single or with someone new.

Most women who have got to their late twenties without pairing off are likely to be pretty self sufficient and independent themselves, and not thrilled at the prospect of a needy man! (I'm speaking as a single 29 year old woman )

Very good advice. Sort out the house and your security first .

C22DTJ

Well... through the joys of Facebook I found out tonight that she is with someone else. Met him about 10 days after she left me, took great pleasure in telling me how great he is and how they're sleeping together.

Apparently she was planning her exit almost a year ago, so apparently "it's ok that she's met someone so soon".

To think that just days ago she was sat opposite me smiling, telling me how great it is that we could be friends.

Perhaps not.

Wow this hurts. More than anything I have ever felt.

Yorkie1

She is showing a highly selfish and cruel side to her personality at present.

You've done really well to keep it together for now; just try and keep focused on the agreements you've reached about the financial side of things, and I hope that time helps to heal this new hurt.

Mojisola

C22DTJ wrote: »

Apparently she was planning her exit almost a year ago

Later on, you'll look on this as a lucky escape. How bizarre of her to carry on buying and furnishing your joint home when she was already looking elsewhere. You wouldn't want to spend your life with someone who can act so irrationally.

C22DTJ

Thanks, both.

Maybe it was my fault though, maybe I should've been a better guy and noticed that she was getting cold feet a year ago. She says she stopped loving me a long time ago.

Mojisola

C22DTJ wrote: »

Maybe it was my fault though, maybe I should've been a better guy and noticed that she was getting cold feet a year ago. She says she stopped loving me a long time ago.

No, the responsibility was hers. If she didn't say anything about her feelings changing, how on earth were you meant to know?

If she had really been getting cold feet, why did she carry on with the house buying? There's plenty of ways of stalling if she was really sure that she didn't love you any more. It suggests that she was keeping you on hand in case nobody better turned up.

C22DTJ

Thanks, Mojisola.

Any advice for dealing with this? Obviously all I can picture right now is her and him together, and it's not a nice picture.

I'm also feeling wholly inadequate, and very insignificant, meaningless almost.

Mojisola

C22DTJ wrote: »

I'm also feeling wholly inadequate, and very insignificant, meaningless almost.

It's not surprising because she's treated you just like that!

It isn't an instant thing but you need to start seeing yourself for who you are and not through her eyes.