Girlfriend of Eight Years Left Me - Just Bought A House

Mojisola

C22DTJ wrote: »

It doesn't help that the new guy messaged me on facebook to tell me how much I failed her, how I could've never given her what she needs and how much fun they are having.

But he's only getting her side of the story!

If he knew the truth, he'd be watching her all the time to make sure she hasn't spotted an even better target - how could he trust her not dump him as well and move on?

C22DTJ

Justme111 - If all you're going to contribute to this thread is backhanded jabs at the way I should have conducted my previous relationship, I'd rather you didn't contribute at all.

Of course I'm concerned with matters like the house, but I'm also hurting like hell and yes, the sympathy and encouragement from the people going out of their way to offer friendly support is welcomed and much appreciated, regardless of whether you think they should be offering such support.

Yes, I'm jealous, yes I'm bitter, but that is because I still love this girl, and still coming to terms with the fact that she no longer loves me, let alone the fact she has moved on.

Kabazzzz

justme111 wrote: »

He is not concerned with so trivial matters by the sound of it , his main concern deems to be that the.woman he had years together and did not manage that well is having fun with someone else.

What a horrid thing to say! If you'd have bothered to read the entire thread, you'd have seen that the house issue is pretty important to the OP. The other man has only recently come to light. If you can't offer support or anything nice to say to the OP as he is clearly hurting, then you really should keep your opinions to yourself.


OP you are so much better off without your ex, the way that she has treated you is terrible and it says much more about her than you.


It does get better ((hugs))

kelpie35

justme111 wrote: »

He is not concerned with so trivial matters by the sound of it , his main concern deems to be that the.woman he had years together and did not manage that well is having fun with someone else.

I think you are very, very rude.:mad:

If you can't say something nice why bother saying anything at all :eek:

OP just ignore ignorant people like this.

You are a much better person and you will be in a much better place very soon.

Also take the advice about DD for mortgage from ex.

I am a great believer in karma and you will come out the winner in the end with all the integrity you have shown.:A

At the moment, if I was you, I would surround myself with people who really love and care for you and accept their support and help.

tea_lover

If he was having that much fun he wouldn't feel the need (or have the time) to look you up on fb and send you messages about it.

Ignore the pair of them, it really does sound like you're better off out of it.

heartbreak_star

Okay here's an opinion from - kinda - the other side.

I was with a chap for about 11 years. We rented a place together, but were drifting apart in my mind. In his, there was nothing wrong.

I tried to make more of an effort, we talked, and ended up moving somewhere smaller to free up a bit more money to enjoy. He started talking about buying...and I put him off.

I think when I realised the feeling I felt when he suggested buying the flat was fear, I also realised that I didn't love him. This whole process took about a year.

Eventually things came to a head. He asked "Honestly, do you want to be with me?" I replied "No. I am sorry." Later, I packed a carload of stuff and fled to my mum's. That weekend, I shifted the rest of my stuff and put the keys through the letterbox.

Here's where the similarities end.

We rented. I think your ex is immensely selfish to have let the house sale go through.

I did not see my ex for well over a year after that. We kept in occasional touch - happy birthday texts etc - but nothing more than that as he was hurt and I hated hurting him. However, I met someone else a month later and moved in with him 3 months after that. I would NEVER have sent a message rubbing it in how happy I was - that is mean, selfish and spiteful.

We are still together 2 years on, my ex has kept the flat and is looking into buying it alone, and we're both in much happier places. He's a great bloke and I want good things for him - I don't think we'll ever be friends but it's not awkward if we see each other in the pub or whatever.

Time will heal - but don't look to your ex coming back. Forge on ahead and be your own person, my ex happily admits he's happier now than he was for most of the time we were living together.

You can do this.

HBS x

Person_one

C22DTJ wrote: »

It doesn't help that the new guy messaged me on facebook to tell me how much I failed her, how I could've never given her what she needs and how much fun they are having. This guy is nearly 30.

Surely people don't actually behave like this in real life?

justme111

Person_one wrote: »

Surely people don't actually behave like this in real life?

My first guess is op heavily editing their conversations , ie forgot to mention them telling him how great they were was in reply to him telling how they are going to fail and rot. My second guess is troll.

tea_lover

OP - I'm sure you know this but there is an 'ignore' function on here. Just saying.

C22DTJ

tea_lover wrote: »

OP - I'm sure you know this but there is an 'ignore' function on here. Just saying.

I didn't know that, but I do now, thank goodness. Thanks for pointing it out.

Thank you, everyone, for your continued encouragement. I think I better stop whining now and just work on getting through this. Your e-hugs are very much appreciated.