Girlfriend of Eight Years Left Me - Just Bought A House

C22DTJ

I was going to ask this, because despite being somewhat irrelevant, it's been on my mind;

Is it still too early if her heart wasn't in our relationship for some time? I don't even know why I'm sticking up for her but it feels like although it was only a week or so after she left me, from what she is saying, she broke up with me in her mind a long long time before that.

I hope it is just a rebound, at the risk of sounding immature, she could do far, far better than this guy.

ValHaller

C22DTJ wrote: »

I was going to ask this, because despite being somewhat irrelevant, it's been on my mind;

Is it still too early if her heart wasn't in our relationship for some time? I don't even know why I'm sticking up for her but it feels like although it was only a week or so after she left me, from what she is saying, she broke up with me in her mind a long long time before that.

I hope it is just a rebound, at the risk of sounding immature, she could do far, far better than this guy.

Really, not your concern. You will not do yourself any good by thinking on this.

Gigglepig

For me it certainly would be way too early for anything serious. When a relationship breaks down people usually need some time to get over it, even if they were the one who walked out.

Also, if she is behaving irrationally regarding the house, she might not have been that rational about the new relationship either - which does not matter for a fling but helps if you want to find someone you are compatible enough with for it to last long term.

I'm sure there are some people who can move on very quickly and settle down long term - but i would not bet any money on her new relationship.

just focus on yourself and try to ignore her, only time will tell.

C22DTJ

It doesn't help that the new guy messaged me on facebook to tell me how much I failed her, how I could've never given her what she needs and how much fun they are having. This guy is nearly 30.

It's so tough, everything in me knows I need to just get her out of my head and take care of myself. It's a struggle for sure.

kelpie35

C22DTJ wrote: »

I agree, thank you.

I've closed down my facebook account, got the phone numbers of the people who mean the most to me on there.

I'm hoping our chat the other day finalised enough for the house situation to proceed until the 6 month mark when it will go up for sale. Hopefully by then I'll be able to stomach actually talking to her, and even then I shall be keeping communication to a minimum.

I think that is a very mature attitude to have :T

I hope you can sell your property very soon, when the time is right and that you can then make a new life for yourself. You deserve that :A

Some days you will feel sad but remember there is light at the end of the tunnel. Take care :beer:

Gigglepig

C22DTJ wrote: »

It doesn't help that the new guy messaged me on facebook to tell me how much I failed her, how I could've never given her what she needs and how much fun they are having. This guy is nearly 30. .

How mature of him. Good for you that you have quit facebook. As hard as it might be, just try to ignore them.

C22DTJ

I think it's the new guy that is making this so damned hard.

The more I revisit our almost 9 years, the more I see just how unhealthy it was. The more I see how this may indeed be the best thing to happen to me.

It's just that any clarity is quickly clouded by visions of how much "fun" they are having together.

justme111

Jealousy is not a nice trait

dancingfairy

Just be careful about the mortgage. While you says she is wiling to pay towards the mortgage she may not (she may forget, not be able to afford it, have her head turned by this other guy etc etc). It may work out better to get her to set up a standing order to you and you make sure you pay the full mortgage amount each month. Obviously if she misses a payment it would affect your credit score.
Conversely obviously if you missed a payment it would affect her credit score but you would appear to have more to loose at this stage (And to be thinking more rationally).
Are you able to buy her out? Can you afford the mortgage on your own? Are you going to take in a lodger?
I hope you are able to sort something out.
df
Edit: just reread the thread and noticed this has already been mentioned.

justme111

He is not concerned with so trivial matters by the sound of it , his main concern deems to be that the.woman he had years together and did not manage that well is having fun with someone else.