exs new partner on dodgy websites?

Brewstersmum

oh god ive got myself in a right problem

split up with my ex 2 years ago, we have 2 kids, get on ok for the kids mainly, odd argument here and there. both in new relationships and very happy.

tonight I got sent a picture of my exs new girlfriend (3 months together and engaged) on one of them dodgy meet up for sex sites. it states she was online within the last few hours and answering flirty questions.

the person who sent it to me is a mutual friend of mine and my exs and does frequent the sites (whatever floats his boat)

I sent the pictures to my ex as I would of wanted to know if I was him.

she is denying it saying someone is setting her up and now I feel like a massive S*** stirrer.

did I do the right thing?

Gingernutty

Short answer.....

.......no.

Why, if the guy who sent the link to you is a mutual friend of you and your ex, did he not send the link to your ex?

It sounds as if he's the one stirring up trouble and, because you piped up and passed it on, landed you in trouble.

It doesn't matter what you say (or text, or Facebook, or tweet) now, you look like the bunny boiler ex and this mutual friend walks away with minimal damage.

Avoid this 'mutual friend'. He sounds like trouble.

Soleil_lune

I agree with the post above ^^^ It's none of your business really. Do you still have feelings for your ex maybe? Otherwise, why send these pics to him?

debjay

I wouldn't have said anything to my ex. I might have suggested mutal friend passed on the info but wouldn't have done it myself.

You have made yourself the messenger so are in danger of being shot

Funky_Bold_Ribena

Brewstersmum wrote: »

oh god ive got myself in a right problem

split up with my ex 2 years ago, we have 2 kids, get on ok for the kids mainly, odd argument here and there. both in new relationships and very happy.

tonight I got sent a picture of my exs new girlfriend (3 months together and engaged) on one of them dodgy meet up for sex sites. it states she was online within the last few hours and answering flirty questions.

the person who sent it to me is a mutual friend of mine and my exs and does frequent the sites (whatever floats his boat)

I sent the pictures to my ex as I would of wanted to know if I was him.

she is denying it saying someone is setting her up and now I feel like a massive S*** stirrer.

did I do the right thing?

What, just like that - send the pics straight to your ex?

What if someone IS setting her up? What if the mutual friend is trying to split them up?

Honestly - people that !!!! stir and then start whining 'don't shoot the messenger' need a reality check. It's not even as if you are on the website!

nickyhutch

No, you didn't. It's none of your business.

Brewstersmum

I use term mutual friend very loosely, someone I knew from years back. he found it amusing that she was on the sites as he had met her for liaisons before.

i have spoken to my ex and his GF and explained why i sent it. tbh i would want to know if my fella was flirting on sex sites and i was about to give up my family home and uproot my kids.

i respect my ex as my children's father and do not want to see him or my kids getting upset years down the line. i don't harbour feelings for him, the relationship was awful

Brewstersmum

Funky_Bold_Ribena wrote: »

What, just like that - send the pics straight to your ex?

What if someone IS setting her up? What if the mutual friend is trying to split them up?

Honestly - people that !!!! stir and then start whining 'don't shoot the messenger' need a reality check. It's not even as if you are on the website!

no i did text first asking if he was home and with her as it said she was online a couple of hours before.

she actually said she is glad as she thinks her ex is trying to stir and now she is off to the police to sort it

Soleil_lune

#awkward

marisco_2

I question why the mutual friend decided to involve you in all of this. If he had genuine concerns about what your ex's girlfriend was up to behind his back, he could have approached him directly himself. If a partner of mine were betraying me in this way I would want to know. I would hope very much though that anyone in possession of such information, would handle the situation with tact and diplomacy so as to limit the humiliation to me. Not find it funny and pass it around. To give this information to you, knowing you would most likely inform your ex, makes it look like he is just trying to stir up trouble to be honest.

Who knows whether she is innocent or not. By handling the situation in this manner though, the lady has been given an excellent get out clause in being able to paint you in a bad light. Perhaps it could be time to distance yourself from this so called mutual friend.

flimsier

Yes, you definitely were stirring.