exs new partner on dodgy websites?

tinkytonkytank

Maybe he knows about it and they're doing it together?

duchy

I have to ask......

Why did your "friend" tell you ?
He knows your husband as well.
In the same situation my first question to the "friend" would be "Why are you telling me and not him?"

Regardless of the truth it sounds like you were manipulated by the "friend"

A genuine friend would take it to the man -not try and use it to cause problems with his ex .

tea_lover

ETA: ignore me, totally misread what I was replying to. Sorry!

Pthree

I dont understand why everyone is giving the OP such a hard time, there is thread after thread after thread on here where people say they wish they had known sooner about a spouse cheating, being devasted finding out that friends knew and said nothing.

If she had seen a female friend's OH on a dodgy website I am pretty sure everyone would be saying tell her.

Is this just because he is an ex and not just a "friend"?

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

When dealing with some rather unpleasantness with the ex over DD, my solicitor googled his name to try and find contact details - and discovered the third link was one of these profiles, looking for the youngest possible legal age range. It was very obviously him.


The information was not passed on; she said that, as all his partner had to do was search on his name, it's not like it was hidden information and the partner could be fine about it.



They've now split up. Presumably she searched his name in the end.

Brewstersmum

duchy wrote: »

I have to ask......

Why did your "friend" tell you ?
He knows your husband as well.
In the same situation my first question to the "friend" would be "Why are you telling me and not him?"

Regardless of the truth it sounds like you were manipulated by the "friend"

A genuine friend would take it to the man -not try and use it to cause problems with his ex .

hes not a genuine friend, I did say id used the term very loosely. he doesnt particularly like my ex although they know each other (and possibly have history). he sent me a message on facebook asking for my new number as he had something to tell me. he found the whole thing very amusing as he said he had had 'sex chat' with her, but then im stuck with the 'what to do about it'

one of the reasons I told my ex is that he is the primary carer of our children as in he takes them to school daily whilst I work. they live in a village and the children attend the local school. he was talking about moving in with his GF which is good as they spend a lot of time between each others houses so would be good for her children as well to be settled in one home. if I didn't say anything and he found out in a few weeks time, my children would of lost their home and be involved in a massive mess.

I am trying to justify my actions as I feel awful about the whole thing. bad for the GF who must be embarrassed, and extremely annoyed (whether its true or not). bad for my ex who has found someone who makes him happy and is now dealing with this but mostly bad for my kids who really like this woman.

my partner actually suggested I tell my ex. his point was 'do you really want your kids mixed up in all this??'

Guest101

Kids mixed up in what?

She's not dealing drugs or on the game.

I really fail to see how you justify this using your kids. Either you have serious concerns for their well being, in which case there are definitely better courses of action. Or you don't, in which case you leave it alone.

Just because you and your current partner would want to know, doesnt mean you should embarass his new partner like this.

You and your ex split up and your kids are fine, why would they be messed up if he split up with his new partner now?? that isnt logical!

pearl123

I can't see what your ex relationship had to do with you. I think the person who gave you the information on this girl was acting maliciously. And I believe by sending on this information you did exactly the same. What this girl does with her life is her business. We all have a right to a private life.
Only she has/had the right to inform her new partner.
Anyway, who knows maybe that how your ex met her - online!

Mojisola

Brewstersmum wrote: »

he was talking about moving in with his GF which is good as they spend a lot of time between each others houses so would be good for her children as well to be settled in one home. if I didn't say anything and he found out in a few weeks time, my children would of lost their home and be involved in a massive mess.

Given this situation, I would have talked to him about it. I think sending the pictures was a rather brutal way of letting him know.

meer53

You should keep out of your ex's relationship. Full stop. It's nothing to do with you at all.