Smoking guest - WWYD?

HappyMJ

zaksmum wrote: »

I never let anyone smoke in my house but have to admit to allowing my dad to do so.

Whenever I asked him not to smoke in the house he would get an almighty strop on so it just wasn't worth the hassle.

He was 84 and would smoke 19 out of a 20 pack religiously on every three hour visit, saving one in the pack to smoke in his car as he drove the 10 minute journey home. he used to light a new one from the stub of the one he was finishing.

O/H complained bitterly and the house stank of smoke...but what could I do? He was my dad.

Invite him to come to the local pub with you instead. Then watch what happens when he lights up and tries to go through 19 ciggies in 3 hours.

Sorry, I know he's your dad but you and your OH are against smoking and it's your house...it can take weeks to get the smoke smell out of furnishings. Then you have the additional costs of repainting walls and ceiling in the room in which he's smoking.

It's going to be hard to convince him if he's 84 and stubborn.

disclaimer...I am a 2 pack a week smoker. I'd never dream of smoking in a non smokers house...I wouldn't even do it in a smokers house unless they lit up first and even then I'll still ask where the back door is and pop out there or I'll go for a walk down the street. Only once an ashtray is put in front of me would I consider smoking.

claire16c

zaksmum wrote: »

I never let anyone smoke in my house but have to admit to allowing my dad to do so.

Whenever I asked him not to smoke in the house he would get an almighty strop on so it just wasn't worth the hassle.

He was 84 and would smoke 19 out of a 20 pack religiously on every three hour visit, saving one in the pack to smoke in his car as he drove the 10 minute journey home. he used to light a new one from the stub of the one he was finishing.

O/H complained bitterly and the house stank of smoke...but what could I do? He was my dad.

I wouldn't care who it was. An 84 year old should know how to behave! Sounds rather pathetic to get a strop on like a child.

Ames

Reminds me of being in a Riad in Morocco, trying to have a nap in the common room between checkout and catching my train. Two girls sat down by my head (there was loads of choice of places) and lit up. The part I really didn't get was that they said they had to smoke licorice flavoured ones because they didn't like the taste of normal ones. Now I don't understand the appeal of smoking in the first place but why do it if you don't even like it!

silverwhistle

So what did the colleague say at work the following day(s)? Did the subject come up?

Rowingirl

scooby088 wrote: »

But some of the responses on this thread from people on the situation should it happen in their house has included violence. A bit of an over reaction to just someone light up a cigarette.

Yes but doesn't justify threatening violence against non-smokers as well. Althought I doubt most people would rise to the bait in reality.

seven-day-weekend

claire16c wrote: »

I wouldn't care who it was. An 84 year old should know how to behave! Sounds rather pathetic to get a strop on like a child.

But there wasn't anything wrong with smoking in his day, it was a social activity. He probably thinks they are being precious and making a fuss over nothing.

However for politeness' sake he should not light up if they have asked him not to.

esmerelda98

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

But there wasn't anything wrong with smoking in his day, it was a social activity. He probably thinks they are being precious and making a fuss over nothing.

However for politeness' sake he should not light up if they have asked him not to.

Zaksmum speaks of her father in the past tense so I assume he is now dead. My first thought was, 'How recently?', because attitudes to smoking have changed tremendously in the last forty years, but they have changed gradually. Many smokers have become non-smokers and many others hope to become non-smokers one day. And many ardent smokers are much more respectful of non-smokers.

If he's been a part of a changing society, how is it that he didn't seem to have changed at all? Perhaps he discovered that by making a fuss he got his own way, so there was no need. He didn't suddenly get to 84 and have lots of new attitudes thrust upon him, things were happening around him over time, but I can only assume he furiously resisted the changes.

hgotsparkle

If someone did that in my house (not that I have many friends who are smokers and the only relatives that do smoke are very rarely invited round, but for a whole other reason) then I would take the cigarette from them, stub it out and tell them to leave.

adouglasmhor

I once asked a guy to leave because he was smoking heroin in my kitchen. He then launched a campaign of threats and attempted intimidation against me that lasted months.
Drug addicts of any kind can be defensive and irrational around their habits.
Several years later he came up to me in a supermarket and apologized for his actions as part of his 12 step program. I feel sorry for him, his health is ruined and he has a very isolated life now.

claire16c

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

But there wasn't anything wrong with smoking in his day, it was a social activity. He probably thinks they are being precious and making a fuss over nothing.

However for politeness' sake he should not light up if they have asked him not to.

But his day was a very very long time ago. It's not an excuse. Smoking has known to be bad for your health for donkeys years.

And yes there's being polite.