First date- who pay's?

bossymoo

Hope you had a lovely evening, whoever paid

74jax

Delree wrote: »

Girls out for a free ride left right and centre. It's 50/50 and if the girl gives any resistance she's a user.

Works the other way too though?

So 50/50 and if the other refuses then (in your words) they're a user.

I think that's harsh way of putting it.

System

I would have thought the person who asked the other person out for a date would pay.

Rummer

When I was dating I would always offer to pay half however in general the gentleman would insist on paying for the meal so I would then pay for drinks later. It is only fair to go 50/50 or for you to pay for separate things like one buys the cinema tickets and the other the popcorn.

Dating is expensive!

DUTR

Person_one wrote: »

Would you invite someone to a place of your choosing, because you want to get to know them, and then expect them to pay half? Do you explain upfront that you'll be sharing the cost?

Do you ask for a contribution to food costs if you cook for someone at your house?

I went on a date a week last Friday (after some nagging "when are we going to meet?"
Anyways she lives 55 miles away, so 110 miles round trip for me, made it clear, if I'm travelling then she is paying (plus I don't like the lines 'see if there is any connection blah blah blah' )
She did pick up the tab for the meal and I did pass the interview (but she didn't pass mine )

But some good responses on the thread, I wouldn't pay anymore, 50/50 1st time around after all this is the 21st century.

Lozzy88

i would say who ever asks the other person out pays.

I am not keen on all this "the man pays" what if your a same sex relationship?

ineed

Whoever does the inviting pays. When I was dating (before i met OH) If a man invited me out to a specific place (eg a restaurant) then he paid. It was never an issue tbh, the men I dated were very like minded and I always saw them again. If however I invited someone out (including friends) somewhere I'd always pay. It's probably not a good idea to invite someone out if you can't afford to pay the whole bill/ don't want to, better to be upfront and mutually arrange something then split the bill 50/50.

Principia_2

I think that expecting the person who asked the other person to pay is hidden sexism, usually it's women who have to put up with this but in this instance it is men. A lot of women, in fact I would say the majority of women don't ask men on dates. They make it clear they want to be asked but they don't do the asking.

eg (but a whole lot more slick and chatty than my example )

man: I love mark wahlberg films.
woman: There's a comedy with him in it on at the moment, I'd love to see it.
man: why don't we go next friday.
woman: lovely, maybe we could go to pizza express before, it's right next door.

Who actually invited who on the date? Or does the guy pay for cinema tickets and the girl the meal? Just make it easy - I'll pay for my own thanks

If someone I barely knew asked me to their house for a meal or asked me on a picnic, I would always offer to bring a course or some nibbles and if they refused even that then I would still bring some wine. I have no idea if this will be a reciprocal arrangement and I would feel bad if I was wined and dined at someone's expense and at the end decided it wasn't going anywhere.

Of course that's how I feel, there isn't really any right or wrong answer because different people think different things and what works with one person definitely doesn't work with another. I think offering to pay half (or making it clear if you are skint before the date) is probably the safest thing to do whether you are male or female.

burnoutbabe

Judi wrote: »

I would have thought the person who asked the other person out for a date would pay.

but in the world of internet dating, its not that one person ASKS as such, more a mutual "lets meet up" sort of thing.

I never even thought of those first meet ups as "dates" just meet ups - generally for a few drinks so you shared rounds.

Anyone who suggests a first date at their own house has to be a bit mad, its a stranger!

Person_one

DUTR wrote: »

I went on a date a week last Friday (after some nagging "when are we going to meet?"
Anyways she lives 55 miles away, so 110 miles round trip for me, made it clear, if I'm travelling then she is paying (plus I don't like the lines 'see if there is any connection blah blah blah' )
She did pick up the tab for the meal and I did pass the interview (but she didn't pass mine )

But some good responses on the thread, I wouldn't pay anymore, 50/50 1st time around after all this is the 21st century.

Its a travesty you're still single.