First date- who pay's?

esuhl

As a bloke, I'd expect to go 50/50 whoever ask the other out.

But I wouldn't say, "Do you want to go to a restaurant of my choice?", I'd say, "Let's go out -- where shall we go?" That way, it's a mutual agreement, and if one suggestion is outside of the other's budget, they can say so.

If the woman expected me to pay, I'd assume she was either selfish, or fully intended to "pay me back" in the bedroom later ;-) Fair's fair!

esuhl

Serendipitious wrote: »

In the light of all the above, I am now very worried in case I get asked on a date !!!!

How in the world would I explain to a guy I really liked that I simply can't afford it at present? And to do so without causing offence or confessing my situation?

A date doesn't have to cost money! If you're that skint, get him to bring his dinner round, cook what you'd normally eat, and curl up on the sofa and watch some TV.

It would be a bit exploitative to accept a date, knowing that, for every single date to happen in the future he'll have to pay the whole bill.

Principia_2

Serendipitious wrote: »

In the light of all the above, I am now very worried in case I get asked on a date !!!!

How in the world would I explain to a guy I really liked that I simply can't afford it at present? And to do so without causing offence or confessing my situation?

Early stages of moneysaving means I have looked at the debt and intend to do everything possible to resolve it. No dates on the horizon, but a bit worried now, frankly ....

Don't be worried, we're all different, that's the point of dating - finding someone who's compatible.

If someone asks you for a date, why not suggest that you bring some things for a picnic in the park or something else that's free, after all the bloke might be skint too and dreading the girl expecting to have the whole evening paid for.

onlyroz

Serendipitious wrote: »

In the light of all the above, I am now very worried in case I get asked on a date !!!!

How in the world would I explain to a guy I really liked that I simply can't afford it at present? And to do so without causing offence or confessing my situation?

Early stages of moneysaving means I have looked at the debt and intend to do everything possible to resolve it. No dates on the horizon, but a bit worried now, frankly ....

Then you'd invite him on a picnic, or a trip to the beach, or something. A date doesn't have to involve a fancy restaurant.

mum2one

I'm intrigued, as beein out of the dateing market so long - its weird how the perceptions come and go.

Part of me would expect the man to pay, but I would make sure that I paid for the taxi, drinks etc x

tinktinktinkerbell

beckysbobbles1 wrote: »

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I personally would always offer to pay for half of the meal but if my date expected me to pay the whole lot, it would seriously put me off. However, if he offered to pay then I would accept. Does that make me a hypocrit?

Yep, makes you a hypocrite

I think it should be 50/50

Torry_Quine

It's been many years since I've been on a date but I would say if you invited someone then you pay. To me it's insulting to offer to pay when the guest!

Lotus-eater

Serendipitious wrote: »

In the light of all the above, I am now very worried in case I get asked on a date !!!!

How in the world would I explain to a guy I really liked that I simply can't afford it at present? And to do so without causing offence or confessing my situation?

Early stages of moneysaving means I have looked at the debt and intend to do everything possible to resolve it. No dates on the horizon, but a bit worried now, frankly ....

Don't worry about it, I think you'll find if you are just honest with a bloke and just say you can't afford it, they will still take you out and then they won't mind paying for the lot.

Then for the next date you just do something that doesn't cost much. If you've got a decent bloke, he will have no problem with that.

Lotus-eater

Person_one wrote: »

Would you invite someone to a place of your choosing, because you want to get to know them, and then expect them to pay half? Do you explain upfront that you'll be sharing the cost?

Do you ask for a contribution to food costs if you cook for someone at your house?

I'd expect them to offer something, yes. I wouldn't explain upfront that we would be sharing the cost, but then I would ask if they wanted to go to that place to start with, if they said it was too expensive and I still wanted to go there, I would expect to pay.

I would never ask for a contribution for anything, I would expect an equal as a date/partner, so if I went to a house for a meal, I would take a bottle of wine and I would expect a similar gesture in return.

19lottie82

Again if a man offered to pay on the first day I would let him and appreciate the gesture, but in return I would insist on buying the drinks if we went on to a pub, or tickets if we went to the cinema. Or for the second date.