First date- who pay's?

Takeaway_Addict

beckysbobbles1 wrote: »

I was just talking with some colleagues regarding my first date this evening and I found the divide in who should pay quite interesting.

I personally would always offer to pay for half of the meal but if my date expected me to pay the whole lot, it would seriously put me off. However, if he offered to pay then I would accept. Does that make me a hypocrit? yes it would, why don't u offer to pay first?

If things progressed and we went on further dates then I'm very much a 50/50 person but I think it's the first date that I would be a little put off if my date didn't at least pay half.

I'm talking about drinks or dinner. I went on a date the other week where my date paid for three rounds and I paid for one. I felt bad that it wasn't even but I'm glad I at least paid for one.

I love how its traditional when its in favour of females but sexism if in favour of males

clairec79

who asked who out?

The asker should be prepared to pay 100%, but it's nice if the askee offers to split 50/50

izoomzoom

So, how did the date go, and what happened when the bill came ................

Person_one

silverwhistle wrote: »

The problem with "the inviter" pays is that it's still the case that men are expected to do the asking. It's not an issue in the lesbian world, but even there there'd be agreement as where to go, since not everybodies' budget is the same. Much as I'd like someone to take me to the Fat Duck, it realistically isn't going to happen when I look at my purse. [Fit female, OHAC, GSOH, solar panels, no debt seeks...]

I don't see an issue. Whoever invites pays, so to keep things 'even' if there's a second date then the person who was asked should step up and initiate it!

The good thing about 'who invites pays' is that it avoids the awkward situation that can arise from having massively different budgets. If you know that you're paying tonight you can choose somewhere you can afford.

Lotus-eater

If a woman insisted I pay for everything on the first date, drinks included, then I would presume she wasn't worth taking for another date.

I wouldn't want a high maintenance girlfriend with a selfish streak. And I think I would have a high chance of getting one.

Person_one

Lotus-eater wrote: »

If a woman insisted I pay for everything on the first date, drinks included, then I would presume she wasn't worth taking for another date.

I wouldn't want a high maintenance girlfriend with a selfish streak. And I think I would have a high chance of getting one.

Would you invite someone to a place of your choosing, because you want to get to know them, and then expect them to pay half? Do you explain upfront that you'll be sharing the cost?

Do you ask for a contribution to food costs if you cook for someone at your house?

sulphate

I think it is a seriously outdated view that men should be expected to pay for a first date nowadays. We (women) can't expect to be equal in every other area of life and then expect not to get our purses out when we go on a date.

Person_one

sulphate wrote: »

I think it is a seriously outdated view that men should be expected to pay for a first date nowadays. We (women) can't expect to be equal in every other area of life and then expect not to get our purses out when we go on a date.

I agree, if a woman makes the invitation she should pay.

Serendipitious

In the light of all the above, I am now very worried in case I get asked on a date !!!!

How in the world would I explain to a guy I really liked that I simply can't afford it at present? And to do so without causing offence or confessing my situation?

Early stages of moneysaving means I have looked at the debt and intend to do everything possible to resolve it. No dates on the horizon, but a bit worried now, frankly ....

Person_one

Serendipitious wrote: »

In the light of all the above, I am now very worried in case I get asked on a date !!!!

How in the world would I explain to a guy I really liked that I simply can't afford it at present? And to do so without causing offence or confessing my situation?

Early stages of moneysaving means I have looked at the debt and intend to do everything possible to resolve it. No dates on the horizon, but a bit worried now, frankly ....

Exactly why 'you invite me you pay' works so well! If you get on well, and you want to reciprocate, you can choose a way to do so that fits your budget.