First date- who pay's?

FatVonD

If you never want to see him again then pay half, if you think there might be a second date then let him pay if he offers then you pay next time.

marisco_2

I like to pay my own way until I know someone well. When a relationship is more established I am happy to take it in turns and to treat a partner or be treated by them. I reason that by going Dutch, if I have had a good time but do not feel that it should go further, I feel more confident saying so, when I know the date was ‘equal’.

Voyager2002

beckysbobbles1 wrote: »

I was just talking with some colleagues regarding my first date this evening and I found the divide in who should pay quite interesting.

I personally would always offer to pay for half of the meal but if my date expected me to pay the whole lot, it would seriously put me off. However, if he offered to pay then I would accept. Does that make me a hypocrit?

If things progressed and we went on further dates then I'm very much a 50/50 person but I think it's the first date that I would be a little put off if my date didn't at least pay half.

I'm talking about drinks or dinner. I went on a date the other week where my date paid for three rounds and I paid for one. I felt bad that it wasn't even but I'm glad I at least paid for one.

My last attempt at courting was with a strong feminist.

To avoid any awkward discussion, I quietly settled the bill (dinner and drinks for two) when she nipped to the loo. Needless to say, I didn't get anywhere with her.

FBaby

For me it depended how the date went. If it went well and it became quite obvious there would be another, I appreciated the man to offer to pay. Then I would offer to pay on the second date. I would insist on paying my half if I knew there would be no second. Every man I went out on a date when I was dating offered to pay but one. I agreed to see him again as I liked him but it did put me off a bit. At our second date, when he started calculating the bill, I told him never mind that I would pay that one and he could pay the next. I could tell he felt a bit embarrassed. He did pay the 3rd without issues but it was the last one, we didn't click enough to go on.

con1888

I prefer to either split it or he pays and then I maybe pay something like taxi to pub/cinema tickets etc at another date or later on on that date.

Live with bf now so money is shared but when we lived at home it tended to be 70/30 he paid most but I paid some things as I feel awkward not contributing.

74jax

Personally if you got really well and it was heading to a 2nd date and he offered to pay, I'd let him. You can pay next time. If you really think there's no chance of seeing him again I'd probably go 50/50.

19lottie82

On a first date if its going well I would expect the man to pay, even though I would offer and I would hope that he would be a gentleman and insist. I would however insist on paying any further costs for the evening or the price of the next date.

As someone has already said though, I would insist on lying my share if I knew we weren't going to go out again.

GwylimT

50/50 a date shouldn't be about free food and drink.

19lottie82

GwylimT wrote: »

50/50 a date shouldn't be about free food and drink.

It's not about getting free food! Its about the gesture.

If a man invites a lady out, its the gentlemanly thing to do. Not every time but on the first date it sets a good impression.

Principia_2

I'd never offer to pay for all the date, I'd much prefer to pay 50/50 but if the bloke insists then I'd rather he paid than make a scene.

Being honest it would be a small black mark against him if he insisted, I'm not looking for a traditional relationship, I'm looking for a partnership where we are both equal and I would want that clear from the start.