Starting out in life

j.e.j.

Person_one wrote: »

I don't understand what the problem would be with a dress from ebay, I've just had the briefest of glances and there are hundreds and hundreds of really expensive dresses worn once and now up for about £100.

I suppose with a wedding dress you need to try it on, which you can't easily do with an EBay purchase, and it'd be a bit of a hassle sending a great long wedding dress back in the post! For a lot of women, the idea of going into the bridal shop, trying on the dresses is all part of the excitement.

Dread to think how much it all costs though. When my cousin got married the monsoon bridesmaids dresses cost more than £100 each :eek: I dared not ask how much the bride's (new) dress was!

jackieblack

EmmaBridgewater wrote: »

maybe you could have two courses - not sure how much this would save? I only say that as if I have a starter, I can never have a dessert! Many people have their cake as the dessert alternatively.

My daughter works for a local caterer and tells me that they charge the same whether there is a dessert or they have the wedding cake as dessert

Person_one

j.e.j. wrote: »

I suppose with a wedding dress you need to try it on, which you can't easily do with an EBay purchase, and it'd be a bit of a hassle sending a great long wedding dress back in the post! For a lot of women, the idea of going into the bridal shop, trying on the dresses is all part of the excitement.

Dread to think how much it all costs though. When my cousin got married the monsoon bridesmaids dresses cost more than £100 each :eek: I dared not ask how much the bride's (new) dress was!

Well, the beauty of buying off ebay is that if its not right you just sell it on, I bet you'd even make a profit sometimes.

kettlefish

Goodness me, being MSE isn't about never having anything nice or god forbid, frivolous. £6k doesn't sound unreasonable to me. Yes you can do it for less, yes you don't need to invite that many people etc etc but for saying it's only about 1/4 of the average cost of a wedding, I think you're doing ok. Our wedding was around £6k but I loved every second of it, and 4 years on our friends still talk about what fun they had. We could've spent less, but we could've spent a damn sight more!

OP, I'd be looking at saving a bit more than £500 a month between you. Assuming you're both working full time earning around £18k (£1150 ish take home) I would say you could look at saving £800+ between you most months. Less nights out, less new clothes, but the wedding of your dreams and a good deposit on a house.

Congratulations and good luck :T

PS Matt, I remember your posts about proposing, glad she said yes

thorsoak

I can remember the fun and anticipation of going around all the department stores with a couple of friends, who were also engaged, and trying on the newest wedding dresses! I found the one I really loved, and decided that I would bring my mother and sister along the next Saturday (mum held my savings book) to put down a deposit on that dress.

Imagine my disappointment when I turned up on the Saturday and found that it had been reserved by someone else It was still over a year til my wedding day, and I had time to find another dress - but I still wanted that dress! I looked and looked, but couldn't find another that I looked as good in, that I really liked. Fast forward three months - and I was invited to the church for the wedding of someone who worked in the same building as I did = and she was wearing MY DRESS!

After the wedding and honeymoon, we met up for lunch one day and I told her how much I admired her dress and almost bought it. Two weeks later - she offered to sell it to me! She and her husband were short for their deposit and she wasn't in the least bit sentimental. The original cost was 40 guineas (£42) - and I bought it from her for 20 guineas (£21)!

Me - I am sentimental - and 50 years later, I've still got my very MSE wedding dress!

Brighton_belle

What a great story Thorsoak!

poet123

I think if I were you I would put off the wedding for an extra 12 months. That way you can get your house purchase sorted and have the extra time to save for the wedding you want.

I don't think £6,000 is overly expensive for a wedding. I have been to several this year and none of them will have cost less than that, but they weren't ostentatious. We were well catered for as guests and we had a lovely day with wonderful couples. Thinking back, my own wedding 32 years ago didn't cost that much less.

I agree with PO though Ebay is a great resource for wedding dresses and wedding outfits in general. I have a friend who paid £1500 for an outfit for her sons wedding.....I saw it on Ebay (worn once) for £125. A couple of my outfits for the weddings mentioned came off Ebay and would have originally costs hundreds. I had them cleaned, wore them and sold them back, often at a profit. Such outfits are so distinctive that you would only wear them once and no way would I pay that kind of money for a suit!!

Tropez

hgotsparkle wrote: »

I personally don't understand the point of a big 'look at me and my money' wedding day, and couldn't think of anything worse for me, but thats just my opinion.


I don't need to have a beautiful venue, with stunning grounds for photos to show my love and commitment to my OH, or would then be Husband.

My wedding is going to be quite expensive and it's only going to be a small affair with maybe five or six guests but it isn't a "look at me and my money" thing at all, it's because the woman I'm marrying wants a few things on the day and I'd rather spend the cash to make her happy than skimp on what she feels would make the day perfect and memorable for her.

skint_chick

Someone already said this but maybe you could look into getting married as late as possible so that everyone can have a hog roast in the evening to save a bit of money on the sit down meal. We got married at 6pm, which worked really well, but anytime after 3 would still work by the time photos are taken and people get a drink and congratulate you after the ceremony. You could have cake as dessert as well, there's no reason why you couldn't still have a seating plan and speeches after the roast and it means that everyone gets to see the cake cutting/speeches/photos rather than the evening guests missing out. I would also see if members of your family would help out with cake/flowers/shoes and other bits and bobs for the wedding rather than getting you the usual gifts - as if you're inviting that many people you're bound to end up with enough stuff for your new home;)

marisco_2

Person_one wrote: »

However, the OP is very young, just starting out, and I think its natural that older posters are advising caution on spending such a big chunk out of their savings when its clear that having a home is important to them too. We're worried that after the wedding they may well find themselves looking on Rightmove at what they can afford regretting the expensive centrepieces! A few grand makes an awful lot of difference at the lower end of the property market.

Totally agree. Some of us being almost twice his age, and having paid mortgages for years on end, also appreciate the benefit of putting down as large a deposit on a property as you can afford to. Why borrow more than you have to and spend thousands on interest charges, for the sake of one extra special all singing all dancing day! To me there is no logic in that at all.