Starting out in life

tom9980

Hey Matt i feel you have had some pretty unreasonable responses to be honest. What really matters is what you BOTH want and are happy with, as long as its budgeted for and paid with cash and not credit it really doesn't matter.

Now i asked my partner to marry me on Christmas day, we got married last month, and i organised virtually everything. It wasn't really that hard because we agreed what we wanted was a small family event. We got married in another town that had a lovely old manor house as the registry office (£250 odd), they even had a public park where the 15 of us had a small intimate picnic (£100 in food/drink). For the evening do we had 45 people at a local pub(£1300) there was enough food to feed 80 frankly!, the location was rural on the hillside overlooking the town we grew up near. Mum made the cake, and did the flowers. The dress was tricky she found one she loved that was £750, i found it on ebay and bought it for £260 it was altered but unworn, my mum altered it for my now wife. Rings were about £800. My suit was £70 and shoes £50.

The honeymoon is where we spent the most but it was pretty much once in a lifetime and we had such a wonderful wedding day and honeymoon, i wouldn't change it for anything. I think the total cost was about £6,500 but most importantly its what we could easily afford and we had everything we wanted!

So that's my story and i have to say as long as you don't let costs spiral or allow you and your partner to be bullied into overspending that you will be fine. Just set a budget and be creative with your ideas and you can keep the costs low. Dont get caught up in being miserly like most of this lot are either you will be endlessly fretting about the cost of everything that you wont enjoy your day!

Congrats and good luck!

bossymoo

Hi and congratulations!

Since you both have such big families, and will already have lived together for some time, is it worth asking family to help with the wedding, instead of a gift? I made invites for my brothers wedding, my aunt did the cake for mine, and my friend did wedding favours for our other friend. Is no one out of all that family any good with a camcorder? Or flowers?

Means lots of people can get involved and be a part of things, while saving a little on the dosh, allowing more invites!

tea_lover

You could go on Don't Tell the Bride. I think you get £12k for that

FatVonD

tom9980 wrote: »

Hey Matt i feel you have had some pretty unreasonable responses to be honest. What really matters is what you BOTH want and are happy with, as long as its budgeted for and paid with cash and not credit it really doesn't matter.

Now i asked my partner to marry me on Christmas day, we got married last month, and i organised virtually everything. It wasn't really that hard because we agreed what we wanted was a small family event. We got married in another town that had a lovely old manor house as the registry office (£250 odd), they even had a public park where the 15 of us had a small intimate picnic (£100 in food/drink). For the evening do we had 45 people at a local pub(£1300) there was enough food to feed 80 frankly!, the location was rural on the hillside overlooking the town we grew up near. Mum made the cake, and did the flowers. The dress was tricky she found one she loved that was £750, i found it on ebay and bought it for £260 it was altered but unworn, my mum altered it for my now wife. Rings were about £800. My suit was £70 and shoes £50.

The honeymoon is where we spent the most but it was pretty much once in a lifetime and we had such a wonderful wedding day and honeymoon, i wouldn't change it for anything. I think the total cost was about £6,500 but most importantly its what we could easily afford and we had everything we wanted!

So that's my story and i have to say as long as you don't let costs spiral or allow you and your partner to be bullied into overspending that you will be fine. Just set a budget and be creative with your ideas and you can keep the costs low. Dont get caught up in being miserly like most of this lot are either you will be endlessly fretting about the cost of everything that you wont enjoy your day!

Congrats and good luck!

To be fair the OP asked if what they are planning to do (re house and wedding) is doable. As has been pointed out to them solicitors costs etc is going to cost on top of their deposit and the Government 5% deposit scheme may well have been scrapped in 2 years time and they may find themselves needing a larger deposit in order to buy a house so that part of their plan may not happen as planned. If that worries them then they may need to scale back the wedding. They may choose not to but they have been given useful advice and really, what would you expect on a moneysaving site?

paulineb_2

Miserly, seriously is there any need to start calling people out for being miserly

Im actually not, not at all. Possibly some people just have some recognition of the fact that if someone is trying to scrape together the money for a house deposit, something might have to give and that might be the size of the wedding

Theres been useful advice given on here from people who have been married, people who havent but know of people who have had cheaper weddings and lots of suggestions on how to cut costs

As I said before, it wouldnt matter to me if I went to a wedding where someone spent 2 grand or 20 grand, it would matter not a jot to me as to whether I had a good time or not, all I would want to see is the couple happy

And its also clear that some people on here do have the cash for a big wedding, all power to them

But if the OP didnt need some suggestions on how to manage a mortgage deposit and a wedding, he wouldnt have asked the question in the first place

Dunroamin

poet123 wrote: »

You can have an expensive wedding and still be of that view though.:D

I'm not sure - I think that there may well be a correlation between expensive weddings and attitudes to marriage, although that's not based on any sort of verifiable fact.

victory

https://www.moneyadviceservice.org.uk/en/articles/estimate-your-overall-buying-and-moving-costs

Excellent website, gives detailed advice on house buying, how much the process costs and as it will be in 2015 it will be costlier...

Dunroamin

EmmaBridgewater wrote: »

What does that even mean? The more expensive your wedding, the less you love your fianc!?!

Not really.

I was thinking more along the lines that the more emphasis there is on the wedding, the less there is on the marriage. As I said, just a feeling, but backed up (on here at least) by posters who've said that a fancy wedding was really important but that marriage was just a piece of paper.

poet123

Dunroamin wrote: »

I'm not sure - I think that there may well be a correlation between expensive weddings and attitudes to marriage, although that's not based on any sort of verifiable fact.

I can see where you are coming from and if the focus is solely on the "big day" and not the life journey thereafter then I would agree.

However, it is possible to understand that that it is not the trappings of the day that are the most important whilst still having nice things which do cost money. For example, we had a string quartet, we had an upgraded menu, we had a singer in church etc,etc, all that cost money but having that didn't mean we lost sight of what was the actual point of getting married.

beckysbobbles1

For goddness sake!! I see everyone has jumped on the 'why are you spending so much on a wedding' bandwaggon.

If that's the wedding you and your fianee want then go for it. It's supposed to be the happiest day of your life so you should have what you want.

It sounds like you are both sensible with money and it's great your saving for it unlike me who got a loan to pay for my dream day (and no I didn't regret doing it).

I don't know if £10k will be enough for a deposit for a house. It really depends on where you are looking to buy. I also need to say that you don't know whether the government scheme will still be in place then but I'm sure by then there will be plenty of options.

Although the idea of having to be 'tight' for the next few years must be tough, at least you know your end goal. To be happily married, living in your own home.

Best of luck with the savings and planning your dream day.