Starting out in life

Dunroamin

EmmaBridgewater wrote: »

You're twisting my words.. The surrounds/food is important! Clearly you're getting married for commitment but that doesn't mean you have to have a basic day. By your philosophy no one should have a birthday party as it's all about turning a new age! :rotfl:

They really, really aren't.

NB

Sorry to break it to you but most adults don't actually have birthday parties.

Dunroamin

fay144 wrote: »

I'm going to disagree with the majority. I spent 6k on my wedding, had a great day, and don't regret a penny. Yes, you can do it cheaper, but if you take that to it's logical conclusion then you'd not bother at all. It's just a bit of paper at the end of the day. I felt just as "married" prior to my wedding as after, it didn't change anything in my relationship.
.

I almost threw the laptop across the room!

You have managed to encapsulate what's wrong in so many people's attitude to marriage in three simple sentences - congratulations.:mad:

Person_one

Hey now, the food is slightly important, that's the bit that's for the benefit of the people who've made the effort to [STRIKE]be in your audience[/STRIKE] share your special day!

Dunroamin

EmmaBridgewater wrote: »

Ok, not you they aren't.. But they are to some people.

No, but younger people do or 21st/40/50th!

"Younger people "? That would be children then.;)

Dunroamin

Person_one wrote: »

Hey now, the food is slightly important, that's the bit that's for the benefit of the people who've made the effort to [STRIKE]be in your audience[/STRIKE] share your special day!

Well yes, some food is obviously nice but it doesn't need to be the overpriced mass catering stuff that the majority of posh venues serve up for large parties.

Dunroamin

herand wrote: »

God you are such a misery guts.

It's perfectly normal to have parties for weddings and birthdays and actually enjoy yourself, enjoy the food, enjoy the company.

Maybe you should spend less time here moaning and actually have fun once in a while

Misery guts yourself! It's perfectly possible to have a wonderful time with all your friends and family on less than a tenth of £6k.

If you can't see what's wrong in someone saying that the actually wedding is unimportant because "it's only a bit of paper" but what really matters is the venue/food/dress/favours/sweet bar/chocolate fountain, then I can only hope for your partner's sake that you aren't married.

fay144

Dunroamin wrote: »

I almost threw the laptop across the room!

You have managed to encapsulate what's wrong in so many people's attitude to marriage in three simple sentences - congratulations.:mad:

Didn't mean to offend!!! :rotfl: But for people with no religion, a marriage ceremony really doesn't necessarily have the same significance. I fully committed myself to my husband a long, long time before our wedding. The ceremony itself was a party to throw for our families, it did not change the meaning of my relationship. That doesn't mean my relationship is less committed than someone who just attaches more importance to the ceremony - just that it followed a different time scale.

Person_one

If the OP had pots of money and could easily afford a 20K wedding without having to sacrifice anything important, then I'd think they were bonkers but I wouldn't tell them not to spend it.

However, the OP is very young, just starting out, and I think its natural that older posters are advising caution on spending such a big chunk out of their savings when its clear that having a home is important to them too. We're worried that after the wedding they may well find themselves looking on Rightmove at what they can afford regretting the expensive centrepieces! A few grand makes an awful lot of difference at the lower end of the property market.

Person_one

fay144 wrote: »

Didn't mean to offend!!! :rotfl: But for people with no religion, a marriage ceremony really doesn't necessarily have the same significance. I fully committed myself to my husband a long, long time before our wedding. The ceremony itself was a party to throw for our families, it did not change the meaning of my relationship. That doesn't mean my relationship is less committed than someone who just attaches more importance to the ceremony - just that it followed a different time scale.

DR's right though that it is wrong to call it 'just a piece of paper'.

Its a really significant legal document, that brings with it serious rights and responsibilities that you don't have without, no matter how committed you feel.

hgotsparkle

EmmaBridgewater wrote: »

I'm sorry but I don't think £6,000 is over the top... given most venues and food cost a hell of a lot. The place I worked in was £5 alone. I understand people saying the don't want an over the top wedding but realistically how are you going to have a wedding day to remember unless you spend money, or own somewhere stunning/ land.

I do not want a massive wedding, but food would be my priority, and food is expensive!

I understand people saying the deposit is more important (it is to me too) but most people only want to get married once, whereas you could always move to a nicer house later in life! I'm not advising you have a lavish wedding and a shanty house but or a rubbish wedding and a nice house, just compromise!

I'd like a pretty standard wedding like the OP is describing.. nothing too fancy, but not a finger buffet in a pub/ village hall either.

I think thats actually quite a mean thing to say. My ideal wedding (and I've mentioned this a couple of times on these forums) is registry office with parents, then a bbq in my garden with friends and family and I would cherish that day and remember it because its the day of showing your commitment to the person you're with.


I personally don't understand the point of a big 'look at me and my money' wedding day, and couldn't think of anything worse for me, but thats just my opinion.


I don't need to have a beautiful venue, with stunning grounds for photos to show my love and commitment to my OH, or would then be Husband.