Starting out in life

Person_one

MattLcfc wrote: »

I understand what you are saying, however every wedding I've ever been to has been this way, to me it's just the norm, it's the way most weddings are. I'm not at all interested in keeping up with the Jones's or anything like that, but is it really that extravagant?

Marrying the person I want to spend the rest of my life with is more important than any day, but at the same time it is one of the most important days you will ever have, so is it wrong to not want it to be something special than just something done as cheap as possible?

I think the point is that you don't need to spend nearly as much to have a nice wedding as you might expect.

There's a whole industry that exists to convince people like you that they need to fork out a small fortune for one day's festivities, and everyone you do business with will be trying to convince you to part with as much as cash as they can.

A white dress doesn't need to cost £700, you can get a lovely one for much less. A tiered fruit cake from M&S will look and taste just as nice as any other. People will have just as much fun dancing drunkenly in a function room above a pub as they will in a hotel with chandeliers.

As an experiment, ask for quotes from some 'vendors' but tell them its a 21st or a retirement do, you'll be shocked at how much they inflate the price for a wedding.

thorsoak

MattLcfc wrote: »

I understand what you are saying, however every wedding I've ever been to has been this way, to me it's just the norm, it's the way most weddings are. I'm not at all interested in keeping up with the Jones's or anything like that, but is it really that extravagant?

Marrying the person I want to spend the rest of my life with is more important than any day, but at the same time it is one of the most important days you will ever have, so is it wrong to not want it to be something special than just something done as cheap as possible?

Yes, it is the most important day in a couple's life (apart from the birth of the babies - but the wedding usually precedes that ) - we're just worried that you are allocating one-third of your savings towards ONE DAY - and the other two-thirds will have to cover your house purchase - deposit, solicitors' fees, survey fees, insurances et al. And of course, property prices are starting to increase. Are you prepared to downsize your property ideals for a wedding? One day for several years? That's really what it comes down to.

FatVonD

Getting married on any day other than a Saturday will save you a fortune too.

MattLcfc

heretolearn wrote: »

Hi

Congratulations!

I think that's quite a low cost for a wedding of that type and size, so if it's what you really want, you should go for it. However...be warned that not many weddings come in exactly on or under the intended budget, I think they usually go over a bit (especially planning a couple of years ahead; prices go up), so you might need to plan for a bit of contingency money in case that you do your best not to spend.

Deposit - great plan, but don't rely on the current scheme being available then. Also, you need money in your budget for solicitors/conveyancing/surveys, plus removal costs, plus all sorts of other fiddly expenses that crop up when you move. Possibly also stamp duty?

If you can save a total of £16k, then I think it'd be more realistic to plan on £5k for wedding (with £1k in reserve that can go towards new house if not used) and £7k deposit with £3k for other house buying expenses. So you might need to scale down your plan a wee bit both on the wedding and house front.

That is generally the plan, House wise we'd probably be looking at something in the region of 120k-140K so a 5% deposit would be 6/7k with 3k for other costs.

MattLcfc

Really appreciate everyone's comments by the way! Planning two of life's biggest events is not easy, particularly considering 3/4 months back I had very little idea at cost for either getting married or buying a property. Very scary but yet very exciting at the same time.

January20

I don't think £6,000 is a huge amount of money to spend on a wedding. It is a lot of money of course, but you are saving up for it rather than putting it all on credit.

Of course you could spend a lot less, but it really depends on what you want. My marriage failed after a few years, but I am still happy that I had a church wedding, a nice dress (not expensive at all), and a nice party. It didn't cost a lot but it was a day to remember (and by that I don't mean I have a bad memory and would forget my wedding day but that it was day that is worth remembering )

I won't rain on your parade because I think you are going about it sensibly: saving first, and not spending 20-30K.

As for the economic situation in 2 year's time? Who knows if we'll all still be alive in 2 years time? But does that stop us living and planning? of course not! Plans are just adapted!

MattLcfc

EmmaBridgewater wrote: »

No of course not Matt.

However, it is a pretty small time scale so you're not going to have the same amount of flexibility as someone with savings already. But I think a three course meal and a party is pretty standard... maybe you could have two courses - not sure how much this would save? I only say that as if I have a starter, I can never have a dessert! Many people have their cake as the dessert alternatively.

That is something I have thought of, we're viewing the venue we're most keen on next week, and I plan on asking to be quoted on two courses and we would then serve the wedding cake as dessert.

Dunroamin

EmmaBridgewater wrote: »

I'm sorry but I don't think £6,000 is over the top... given most venues and food cost a hell of a lot. The place I worked in was £5 alone. I understand people saying the don't want an over the top wedding but realistically how are you going to have a wedding day to remember unless you spend money, or own somewhere stunning/ land.

I do not want a massive wedding, but food would be my priority, and food is expensive!

I understand people saying the deposit is more important (it is to me too) but most people only want to get married once, whereas you could always move to a nicer house later in life! I'm not advising you have a lavish wedding and a shanty house but or a rubbish wedding and a nice house, just compromise!

I'd like a pretty standard wedding like the OP is describing.. nothing too fancy, but not a finger buffet in a pub/ village hall either.

So your "day to remember" is going to be memorable because of the food and the surroundings rather than because you're marrying the person you love? Perhaps it would be better if they just didn't bother turning up.:(

MattLcfc

EmmaBridgewater wrote: »

I can imagine! How old are you btw?

I'm 24 Emma, my partner is 22

fay144

I'm going to disagree with the majority. I spent 6k on my wedding, had a great day, and don't regret a penny. Yes, you can do it cheaper, but if you take that to it's logical conclusion then you'd not bother at all. It's just a bit of paper at the end of the day. I felt just as "married" prior to my wedding as after, it didn't change anything in my relationship.

But as it was, I had a fantastic celebration, and felt I got good value for my money (free bar for everyone for the full day, and accommodation for most guests for the weekend). It was money I was happy to save, knowing it was for a single day, so why not?

However, saying that, we bought our first home 3 years earlier. We'd been together 7 years, and had a settled life, and fully set up house, etc, first. In your position, I'd probably buy the house first, and either get married on the cheap, or wait until it was easier to do it the way I wanted.