Does it make parents look better' if their child goes to university?

GwylimT

I don't mind what mine do as long as it is something they enjoy, or if they have to do a short term job etc they don't like to be able to achieve their end goal.

My son is studying medicine at university, it doesn't make us look better, because it doesn't make us better, plus back home he is still the lad who who set a bonfire with his mates and burnt down most of the streets fencing, now that is the stuff that sticks, not grades!

Ames

It was the other way round for me. Mum didn't want us to go to uni and was really unsupportive when I applied to Cambridge (she got her wish for me not to get in).

I've tried uni three times and it's only this last time which is since she died that I've actually managed to do well and progress past the first year.

POPPYOSCAR

Ames wrote: »

It was the other way round for me. Mum didn't want us to go to uni and was really unsupportive when I applied to Cambridge (she got her wish for me not to get in).

I've tried uni three times and it's only this last time which is since she died that I've actually managed to do well and progress past the first year.

Yes I was quite surprised when a friend of our son did not go to university as he was very bright.

His mother told me that they could not afford for him to go as he had to go out and get a job when he left school.

They were not a 'poor' family so this came as a huge surprise to me.

paulineb_2

Its not a competition, all I'll say from my experience of being at uni, I was 20 when I started my degree and there were people from 17 to in their 50s on my course.

We dont know why the girl didnt go to college some of the time, we dont know what her mum did or didnt do to try and support her, I certainly dont think someone with an E and 2 unclassified grades would be advised well to go to uni without either retaking or doing a college course first.

And if the mum is blabbing her daughters business all over the street, Id be letting it go in one ear and out the other, the mum will get over it in time, I cant ever imagine my mum talking about me to anyone like that even if she was disappointed.

kate1976

I got asked by my friend if I feel let down by my son not going to uni, her son is going to be a doctor, when I said it didn't bother me she started going on about how if 'C' hadn't gone to uni she'd die of shame and she doesn't know how I cope! Some folks are strange, leave them to it!

Shelldean

mmm interesting subject.

I encouraged DD to attend uni as her career requires a degree.

However DS1 is wanting to go next sept and I am not so sure, so am currently trying to discourage him discreetly at the moment. Thi there will be a full frank conversation at some point soon.
He wants to do a mickey mouse degree and I feel it will be a complete waste of time and a huge debt afterwards as we cant pay it for him, so it will be student loans etc. However if he goes whatever my reservations he'll have my support.

DS2 (twin to DS1) wont be going to un as he has already left school back in June, and is working full time at an apprenticeship. I'm just as proud of him and his choices as I am of DD. Why wouldn't I be? after all not everyone is an academic are they?

I've told my kids that whatever their choice in life I will support them. I may not always agree with their choices, and at times I'll be vocal about not approving. BUT it is their life and their choice and I will support their choice to the best of my ability.

Jury is out on which way DS3 will go, but he'll have my support in any choices he makes


P.S. Whatever any of them end up doing I don't care and will be proud so long as they are happy and healthy xxx

SmallL

Shelldean wrote: »

mmm interesting subject.

I encouraged DD to attend uni as her career requires a degree.

However DS1 is wanting to go next sept and I am not so sure, so am currently trying to discourage him.
He wants to do a mickey mouse degree and I feel it will be a complete waste of time and a huge debt afterwards as we cant pay it for him, so it will be student loans etc. However if he goes whatever my reservations he'll have my support.

DS2 (twin to DS1) wont be going to un as he has already left school back in June, and is working full time at an apprenticeship. I'm just as proud of him and his choices as I am of DD. Why wouldn't I be? after all not everyone is an academic are they?

I've told my kids that whatever their choice in life I will support them. I may not always agree with their choices, and at times I'll be vocal about not approving. BUT it is their life and their choice and I will support their choice to the best of my ability.

Jury is out on which way DS3 will go, but he'll have my support in any choices he makes

What is the degree? The content might have good transferable skills or opportunities to take skill-based modules.

Person_one

Shelldean wrote: »

However DS1 is wanting to go next sept and I am not so sure, so am currently trying to discourage him discreetly at the moment. Thi there will be a full frank conversation at some point soon.
He wants to do a mickey mouse degree and I feel it will be a complete waste of time and a huge debt afterwards as we cant pay it for him, so it will be student loans etc. However if he goes whatever my reservations he'll have my support.

Everybody has a different idea of what a 'Mickey Mouse' degree is.

I'm not a fan of the expression, not every degree needs to lead straight into a job, and what some people see as worthless will be fascinating and valuable to somebody else.

Vicky123

People think differently about University today, everyone expects to go and because so many do then maybe that's why this mother feels so disappointed. Back in the day only the best brains went to university and no one would have expected someone with those grades to get in.
I've become less and less impressed with relative's or friends kids going to University as it's so common, maybe this mum should look at it the other way round, her child had no interest and chose not to go, she will cause a lot of harm in making her daughter feel a failure.

paulineb_2

Neither am I. I never used my first degree apart from to use it to gain entry into a postgrad, it was very worthwhile to me. And I did it at a very ordinary polytechnic.