Does every family have one?

saterkey

My family is a bit this way, but mainly towards me, so I try and have my family with me to make conversation easier and nicer. They keep bringing up things like how my bedroom was never tidy, boarding school, silly things that ive done when I was a teenager that I wasn't happy about, one member practically says do you remember when "and then repeats the unhappy episode word for word" I am in my mid 40s and its very tedious, if I say anything they just think I cant take a joke.
Ive tried different ways of dealing with a particular person, and the best ive found would be to smile and counteract the conversation back to her, for instance shell remind me of a drinking episode when I was 16 (a one off I might add), so I quickly come back and say I remember when you were pushed up the stairs that one night drunk as a skunk (she was a bit tipsy and didn't think Id saw her) it actually shuts her up quite quickly.
The other one was because they sent me to boarding school they had a tendency to say when I visited their home, oh weve tidied up lots because we knew princess Diana was coming, they kept saying this, so I thought whats the worst thing I could say back in the same vein, so I tried the one day saying " yes ive come to see the bevellery hillbillies", it took a couple of goes but it did the trick and the Diana thing stopped.
With some people you try different tacks, some work some don't, yes you get prats in every family im afraid, if my kids didn't want to go I wouldn't make them and to be honest its probably best to keep the peace for now, make it known to your son that you support him and there will be difficult people that you have get along with at some level and discuss different ways of dealing with it. Good luck

paulineb_2

Well, theres only 3 people in my family so I can safely say I dont have a relative like that.

I think the son should be able to opt out of any social gathering he likes now and in the future if hes going to be treated like this by anyone, relative or not.

Also, if the family do call the OP names, that should be addressed as well, seriously who wants to go to any party/social function to be made to feel miserable, you might as well sit at home with a bit of cake/wine/whatever floats your boat and have a better night.

jenhug

Making jokes at someone elses expense, for your own pleasure knowing their feelings are being hurt is bullying. I have one of these in my own family, and they have ruined their relationships with 2 of their 3 grandchildren, because despite repeated intervention they cannot, or will not stop. Bullies are really the lowest of the low.