Does every family have one?

securityguy

LEJC wrote: »

there seems to be a general acceptance of this persons behaviour in my husbands family..

That still doesn't explain why your husband tolerates him insulting you. Presumably you've told him?

FatVonD

Just wanted to say that I disagree with any retorts mocking his jokes, it's too open to misinterpretation as 'banter', the buffoon needs to be aware that he's being called out on it.

If anyone asks where Harry is I'd say:

'He's sick of Fred's comments about his facial hair and continually mocking his name'

When they say 'oh, he such a wag/only joking' you say:

'No he isn't, it's deeply offensive, if Harry were a girl would it be okay for him to tease her about her budding breasts? What next? Is he going to ask if his balls have dropped? And as for the Steptoe jokes, I realise in Fred's day everybody was called 'Steve' or 'Dave' but it's a very popular name nowadays. He doesn't have to put up with name calling on account of it at school so he shouldn't have to put up with it from a family member either'.

There WILL be a stunned silence but it won't happen again.

candygirl

Just get him call him "Uncle Nobhead." that'll shut him up:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

duchy

Hmm well if it is OK for him to call you "Posh bint" to your face .....I suppose it's OK for you to greet him as Uncle Nobhead (or Uncle NH if you want to be a little more subtle)and if anyone complains just say "Oh that's what we always call him at home....sorry I forgot where I was for a moment"

Funky_Bold_Ribena

LEJC wrote: »

his family seem to humour him along or just dismiss any protestation as "well thats what hes like......"

I'd say 'yeah, that's what they said about Jimmy Saville'. And walk out and get myself a tea/coffee/biscuit/cake.

System

there seems to be a general acceptance of this persons behaviour in my husbands family.

That's because its easier to put up with it than say something and cause a stink.

Been there wear the t shirt unfortunately.

JanCee

I think that you are doing the right thing by not making your son go to this family gathering but I still think that you don't owe anyone an explanation as to why he isn't there. A simple "he is a teenager now" should suffice.

olibrofiz

I have a name that can be hard to pronounce, and over the years have had all sorts of variations - some mocking/rude/snide - you name it.

It's surprising how many people back down & leave you alone if you feminise/masculinise their name in response

So in the OP's son's case 'Haroooold', for me, would be met with 'Frederika!!!!'/Roberta!!!!/Raychelll!!!/ Stephanie!!! - insert appropriate name, and then walk away. Every time. IME eventually they stop and go away. But then I'm older than 15, and don't take carp off people on the whole

securityguy

JanCee wrote: »

I think that you are doing the right thing by not making your son go to this family gathering but I still think that you don't owe anyone an explanation as to why he isn't there. A simple "he is a teenager now" should suffice.

The OP doesn't' owe anyone an explanation, no. But they shouldn't feel they have to lie. If asked, the truth would be a good idea. It sounds like the family has enabled for too long. Judi's post is, unfortunately, the sad truth that families tend to leave problems past the point at which they can be solved nicely, and therefore either nothing happens or there is an unpleasant ending.

ska_lover

Yes, I think every family has one