Freeloading friend!

victory

bestpud wrote: »

She's saving an awful lot at the moment.

She had the cheek to suggest I help her out because she'd put too much into her savings account and not left enough in her current account to live on.

She has had debt problems but they were cleared with a debt relief order and she now has plenty of money.

Her bank account does but her mind doesn't....she is still living in her debt past where she had to scrimp and save and try to get herself out of the hole she was in and now she has, she has not moved on and found a way of enjoying it without it being an issue as it once was...

Dunroamin

victory wrote: »

Her bank account does but her mind doesn't....she is still living in her debt past where she had to scrimp and save and try to get herself out of the hole she was in and now she has, she has not moved on and found a way of enjoying it without it being an issue as it once was...

More likely is she's worked out she can save more if she doesn't pay her way!

notanewuser

I have friends who ALWAYS order the most expensive items on the menu, plus lots of booze, and then want to split the bill equally. We called them on it years ago. Bloody !!!!!!!!!!s.

paulineb_2

I went out on a night out a few months ago with work, I was working part time at the time and my wages were low, we went to a buffet, set price.
Some people then decided to start ordering bottles of rose wine at a tenner a go and then decided when the bill was split it should be split equally so that we all paid the same.

Which meant the people who didnt drink as much were paying for the people who had been drinking heavily. I paid a few quid more than I would have if I were paying for my own but no way was I paying for everyone elses drinks.

I might add that one of the people who drank the most was the assistant manager whose monthly wage was about 3 times mine.

I also go out with another group of people and when the bill comes we just pay our own. Im not mean, Im just skint and theres no way Im paying ten quid more on my own meal just because some people treat a group meal as eating everything on the menu and then you've to pay for some of that.

I know some people might not do it that way, but it works fine for us.

Abbafan1972

notanewuser wrote: »

I have friends who ALWAYS order the most expensive items on the menu, plus lots of booze, and then want to split the bill equally. We called them on it years ago. Bloody !!!!!!!!!!s.

Now, this I hate. Call me tight, but I would only pay for what I'd ordered!

BitterAndTwisted

The cynical and brazen exploitation has some of the hallmarks of a sociopath, in that other people are only important to them as objects to be made use of and no more. I am not persuaded by the idea that this behaviour is a result of past financial mistakes and the consequent scrimping and scraping along the bottom. People who have suffered in that way are generally more likely to be empathetic to another's situation, not less.

I'd call an end to this "friendship" before it starts to cost you real money and ever more emotional harm.

RuthnJasper

I agree with these answers. It's great that the OP wants to remain friends with this person, but her behaviour simply is not fair, particularly in these troubled times.

Personally I wouldn't have the nerve to freeload off a friend, and even on a date I would offer to pay my fair share. Friendship is not a charity, nor should it be abused.

Best wishes OP; hope it all works out. x

Funky_Bold_Ribena

Bestpud, you need to manage your interactions with her better if you are to continue. You tell her that she pays you her half and you will then pay the full price. Or she pays you petrol money of x or you don't pick her up. If she starts, just say that if she doesn't like it, she finds someone else to go with. Make sure she always pays you upfront so that you are not out of pocket.

DKLS

I did have a friend like this, his ability to avoid paying for a round was legendary, sadly he extended his cheapness to other aspects of his life.

Thanks to some cheap chinese ditchfinders fitted to his car he can no longer run up any more costs.

As my grandad would have said, he knew the price of everything and the value of nothing.

maman

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

Some people say "it's not easy to put a value on friendship" but it's fairly straightforward to put a cash-value on this one, isn't it?

Everything depends on how desperate you are to hang onto this friend but of one thing you must be absolutely certain: your importance to them goes only as far as they are able to exploit you and no further. If you confessed to suddenly finding yourself a pauper and needing their help you know that you would not see them for dust.

That's totally the crux of the matter. You can make her pay but you're finding it (naturally) irksome.

If I were you I'd keep fighting your corner, making sure she pays her way. She'll either learn you're no soft touch or you'll get fed up with her and move on.