Has anyone gone to/used a medium....

smithyjules

First of all I am so sorry for your loss.

I lost my brother to cot death when I was 5 and it has had a huge impact on my life both growing up (decisions my mother made at the time led me to counselling before I had my own children), and still has a lasting impact on my own family now.

I attended a clairvoyant evening in our village simply to support the charity it was raising money for. Over 200 people came along. I describe myself as an open skeptic (not religious at all but respectful of others who are).

The things that were said to me were ridiculously close to home. None of it was generic so either she was a mind reader or a talented medium!
Either way I left the event feeling very emotional but really quite comforted.

Just my experience but I wish you well for the future. Counselling (with the right person!) Can be a great comfort too xxx

lillie_put

I am so very sorry for your loss, I do actually believe in a lot of mediums.
I also believe there are a lot of people that feed of grief take people's money have no idea what they are doing or care.
Their are a lot that I believe that can talk to those that have passed
when my dad died I wrote him a letter telling him all sorts telling how much I love him an telling him off for leaving me I told him lots of things about my sons things they had been doing things that had been happening
was more of an essay,
It got lots of things out my head it helped me in a way I can not explain how maybe just getting it all out an said breaking my heart,
end of it I said if you are near me somehow let me no then I will no you will off seen all this my you will no how much I love you an miss you.
my dad gave me a plant when I got married it always flowered for him but no matter what I did it didn't for me I had it 4 years after writing this letter/essay 3 days later it flowered and has flowered every year since
A coincidence maybe or maybe it is my dad an that is what I choose to believe,

write a letter say everything you wish you could say right now it really does help.it gets things said an out of your head
an straight from your heart.

sending you lots of love xxxx

meritaten

my dad grew a camellia for years - it never flowered. yet the year after my dad died that camellia flowered out of season (December).

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Brewstersmum wrote: »

ive had a couple of reading at parties throughout my life. 1 was quite good, she knew stuff that no one else would about my dad who had died years before. I left in tears vowing I would never do it again. she said to me my future was with the probation service! I was 22, just left a violent relationship, had a young child and no idea what my future was going be. 10 years later, I work with offenders!

the 2nd one was again at a party. the woman mingled with the guests for a couple of hours then proceeded to do private readings. they were recorded on cd. It was total poo lol

a few months ago a girl I worked with was talking about her mum who was a medium. I said it was all wrong etc and challenged her to prove me otherwise. well her mum did me a reading and I must say I was gobsmacked. she got my parents name, and also their strange living arrangements. she told me stuff about my ex that has come true and also stuff about my current partner and our situation. I never disclosed anything to the girl at work and the mum had no financial gain from me..........

im undecided now but I do have a huge tick list of thing that should happen this year from the reading and so far, its actually coming true

And you have never, ever spoken of your life to anybody else at work, ever? After working in most places for about a week and a half, I've normally found that I know the names of their partners, their kids, their cat, the name of their childhood dog, their passwords and everything about *the unpleasant incident last year where so and so did...*, if not directly from them, through colleagues' gossip.

Corelli

Hi OP,

I have no experience of mediums but I have lost a son. There are other oganisations who will offer support in the case of a child's death.

I used to read the magazines from the Compassionate Friends over and over again - this was pre-internet days. Now they have a website, groups and a phone line http://www.tcf.org.uk/

You didn't say how old your son was. If he was still a baby there is SANDS, the Stillbirth and neonatal death charity http://www.uk-sands.org/home.html

My heart goes out to you in your loss and grief, and searching for answers and comfort. All I can say to you as someone who has now had two big bereavements of my son and my father plus all my grandparents now, that the trite saying that time heals does have some truth. The pain eases, you don't wake up crying every day, you start to laugh again but truly, the loved one is never forgotton but with all the awful things that happen in life we can either go under or grow from the experience.

You said you've always been the strong one, the one that supported others. It sounds like it is your turn now to accept some support for yourself.

Very gentle and respectful hugs
C X

meg72

Torry_Quine wrote: »

I'm sorry to hear that but please don't blame the whole organisation due to these experiences. By visitor do you mean the counsellor who saw her as if someone fell asleep I certainly hope that a complaint was made. I'm sure CRUSE would want to know why you felt unhelped.:(

Sorry for not replying sooner , No, no complaint was made, I did tell my friend at the time she should complain but, (1) she was the most forgiving person I have ever met and said to me, but we dont know the womans own situation, maybe shes been up all night (2) My friend and enough on her plate, her daughters death left her with 3 little girls to worry about,

When I lost my Son, my Doctor arranged for a visit
from Cruse, my friend encouraged me to try it.

My Sons death was a suicide, and the Woman spent five minutes telling me I shouldnt blame myself or feel guilty, I did`nt, the next five minutes telling me how selfish my Son had been, he was`nt, and the next 20 mins telling me about losing her parents, and grandparents, I had to ask her to leave, she obviously had no empathy for my situation and I have to question the kind of training these people receive from Cruse.

So I may no apology for my saying avoid Cruse,

poet123

meg72 wrote: »

Sorry for not replying sooner , No, no complaint was made, I did tell my friend at the time she should complain but, (1) she was the most forgiving person I have ever met and said to me, but we dont know the womans own situation, maybe shes been up all night (2) My friend and enough on her plate, her daughters death left her with 3 little girls to worry about,


I think that is a fair point. Those who volunteer for such organisations usually do so because of similar life experiences. Who knows what that also brings with it? Your friend had empathy even in her own time of need.

When I lost my Son, my Doctor arranged for a visit
from Cruse, my friend encouraged me to try it.

My Sons death was a suicide, and the Woman spent five minutes telling me I shouldnt blame myself or feel guilty, I did`nt, the next five minutes telling me how selfish my Son had been, he was`nt, and the next 20 mins telling me about losing her parents, and grandparents, I had to ask her to leave, she obviously had no empathy for my situation and I have to question the kind of training these people receive from Cruse.

So I may no apology for my saying avoid Cruse,

I am not sure that is entirely fair.

Your situation may have been different but generally, those left behind after a suicide do feel guilt whether warranted or not, and in their darker moments, do feel that suicide is a selfish act, so her saying that may not have been appropriate for you but it will be appropriate for many, and more importantly it will give them the permission to feel that, when often they will hate themselves for doing so.

I see nothing wrong with what the CRUSE rep did, it may not have been right for you but I am not sure you are representative of those who lose someone to suicide and in my family sadly we do have experience of this.

So sorry for your loss though.

Torry_Quine

meg72 wrote: »

Sorry for not replying sooner , No, no complaint was made, I did tell my friend at the time she should complain but, (1) she was the most forgiving person I have ever met and said to me, but we dont know the womans own situation, maybe shes been up all night (2) My friend and enough on her plate, her daughters death left her with 3 little girls to worry about,

When I lost my Son, my Doctor arranged for a visit
from Cruse, my friend encouraged me to try it.

My Sons death was a suicide, and the Woman spent five minutes telling me I shouldnt blame myself or feel guilty, I did`nt, the next five minutes telling me how selfish my Son had been, he was`nt, and the next 20 mins telling me about losing her parents, and grandparents, I had to ask her to leave, she obviously had no empathy for my situation and I have to question the kind of training these people receive from Cruse.

So I may no apology for my saying avoid Cruse,

I don't think saying that you shouldn't feel guilty or blame yourself is wrong as those are common feelings after any death no matter the cause and even more so when the death was due to suicide. Also most people would say that suicide is the ultimate in selfish acts but it was probably insensitive to say so. Talking about your own experiences is something that should only be done when a relationship has been established and that takes time and obviously hadn't happened here.

Jenny.W

I think the OP should do whatever gives her comfort. I lost my father in 2004 and it still hurts me very deeply. At the time I would've done anything to make contact with him but of course was not in a position to get out of bed, let along make arrangements to speak to a medium.

As for Cruse, there is a waiting list. It took 7 months for me to get my first appointment and I continued with counselling for almost 2 years. Did it help? I don't know ......it was just really all about me talking and exploring my feelings, sometimes I would come away from a session totally exhausted from crying and pulling memories of my dad so sometimes I did wonder if it was making me worse.

I'm open minded and to this day I would still love to know that my dad is ok and if someone could help me and they were genuine, then I would give it a go. I still carry hold alot of guilt and have never been able to shake it off. My life changed after my dad died and if someone was able to make me feel better and was able to help me lead a better life and put some of my feelings to bed then yes, I would do it

red_devil

Jenny.W wrote: »

I think the OP should do whatever gives her comfort. I lost my father in 2004 and it still hurts me very deeply. At the time I would've done anything to make contact with him but of course was not in a position to get out of bed, let along make arrangements to speak to a medium.

As for Cruse, there is a waiting list. It took 7 months for me to get my first appointment and I continued with counselling for almost 2 years. Did it help? I don't know ......it was just really all about me talking and exploring my feelings, sometimes I would come away from a session totally exhausted from crying and pulling memories of my dad so sometimes I did wonder if it was making me worse.

I'm open minded and to this day I would still love to know that my dad is ok and if someone could help me and they were genuine, then I would give it a go. I still carry hold alot of guilt and have never been able to shake it off. My life changed after my dad died and if someone was able to make me feel better and was able to help me lead a better life and put some of my feelings to bed then yes, I would do it

guilt about what?