TallGirl's getting back on track diary

bugslet

TallGirl wrote: »

Thank you. After my last post things went even more pear shaped to be honest not sure I can even post about it. Long chat with DH and his dad today doctors tomorrow then another meeting Tuesday evening when DH needs to decide where he wants to go.

He is currently not prepared to stop drinking. So far he's had four pints today which is low for him.

Hi TG

I don't know the full details of your OH and even if you wrote pages of info, you can still never explain your closest relationship to other people. So I'll say this without knowing everything, he has a choice to stop the drinking, I'm not saying it is easy, but it is his choice to drink or not to drink. If he won't stop or can't stop, I think you need to look seriously at things. It's no good being wistful and saying that he has been really good, if that is inevitably followed by a backslide. Only you know how many times he has done that previously and how many times he has promised to behave better. If it's a repeating pattern, then you know what to expect.

I'm sorry to hear about the miscarriage as well, some things are not meant to be and that's the way it goes.:(

Don't worry about the thread wander, if it helps having a bit of a vent.

The reason that I haven't been on is that my OH, who has been ill for nearly two years, was taken off drips and what have you last friday and died earlier this morning. As he in effect, died months ago, it's a relief mostly now. I will be popping by here and there over the next few days and then offline between Xmas and New Year.

vandanfc

Sorry for your loss bugslet. I hope you manage to have a restful holiday season.

TallGirl

So sorry to hear about your loss Bugslet sending you lots of hugs and wishing you all the best for the future. Hope you have family and friends around to support you.

bugslet

Thankyou TG and vandfc - don't let me derail your thread though!

TallGirl

bugslet wrote: »

Thankyou TG and vandfc - don't let me derail your thread though!

Derail as much as you like Bugslet hope you are ok it's not an easy time of year if you have just lost someone.

All fine here had a nice time at my sisters and came back to my mums yesterday. Christmas Eve was lovely we were ten all immediate family so that was nice and the kids were very well behaved. Christmas tree was huge and real must have been over 4 meters tall.

My appetite has definitely come back but I still get tired handy that my cold gives me an excuse to look so rough I can't get myself to tell them. My mum asked today about DHs drinking and I told her he is speaking help. He had been very good one beer at lunchtime with lunch and then about three in the evening. Gone to bed early though every night but that is fine. He will go back to the alcohol centre as soon as we are back and follow their programme whatever it's going to be. We are not going back no way then it's all over between us he knows that.

Going to my dads for a big Christmas lunch tomorrow and sister and family will be joining us
I need to visit a friend first and then head into town to shop. Might ask if we can meet in town as lunch is at 1pm so it doesn't give me much time. My dad and uncle gave me money for Christmas and DH bought me an expensive pen which i really don't like so got money back for that (BIL) sorted that out.

Might put the money towards an iPhone but seriously don't really need it do I.

Been texting and face booking with friends from work really nice but actually miss them. Will definitely go in to work on the 30th after my doctors appointment.

Money wise things are looking good £358 on the credit card, £100 credit on another card (my mistake) and not touched my wages yet. Going to think of some goals for next year personal and financial ones.

Hope all the MSE had a fabulous Christmas wherever you are. :A

TallGirl

Back last night bit of hassle with the trains but nothing major. Boiler has gone out and there is no way to light it, it's freezing cold here. Phoned British Gas as their advers are all over the place. Cannot do anything until Monday if we do take out a contract they might come Sunday. Phoned local company really nice don't waste money on us coming out tonight wait until Sunday we will call 30 min before we arrive. If we can get it going we will we may have parts but it's Sunday so we may have to wait until. Monday boiler is 20 years old so I think its time for a new one. Slept with electric blanket on and two cats on the bed.

Going to spend sometime outside the house at least u can shower at the gym up the road. Fingers crossed they get it going again.

TallGirl

Boiler needs new circuit board they are coming back Monday afternoon might get part by Tuesday. Been called into work Monday and Tuesday but I was planning on going in Monday anyway. Didn't charge me for today's visit and DH has fetched electric heaters from his office.

Mystery shop done nice free breakfast.

No plans for New Years Eve yet but think friends will be back from Cornwall so that might be nice. Otherwise I am not fussed really. Need a shower gym or golf club are the two options. I think the gym will be warmer.

TallGirl

Quick update spent all day yesterday at work but it was actually quite nice and horrid persons was quite civil and almost friendly. Got everything done so no need to go in now until the third.

Still no plans for NYE friend not texted back so assume she is still away not actually bothered. I have been invited to managers friends party but not going.

£68 spent in the long tall sally sale got Pj bottoms for £15 instead of £30 not my favourite but didn't actually really like any of them. Also got two pairs of trousers.

DH was in bed at 6.30pm when I got home yesterday drunk not impressed he had been left on his own all day and done very little. Going to call alcohol place today he admits it was silly. Going out for breakfast now it's so cold in the house but DH says they are coming back today to fix it but do I trust his memory. If I haven't heard from them by 11am I shall call them.

Currently in bed with two cats and an electric blanket do I really want to get up?

Watty1

I've been reading your thread on and off and just wanted to delurk and send some waves of encouragement and support. Dealing with alcohol is a tough one. My last partner was an alchoholic. I gave up drinking about 10 years ago now because - umm - lets just say I had concerns about my attitude to drink. So, seen it from both sides. Totally possible to do the recovery thing but gee one has to want it and it is probably the toughest thing one ever has to do.

Anyway I digress. Just wanted to send some virtual support.

TallGirl

Thanks for the support Watty1 I need all that I can get.

Just been up to the alcohol centre to have a chat with them myself. Really useful and they gave me a number for a group to call that I would find helpful. I took DH there first thing to get him to book an appointment but they were all in a meeting so they were going to call him back. They didn't which is why I went up there during their drop in period. We had an hours chat and it was really helpful they only take on people that wants to quit so by the sound of it he hasn't agreed to this hence no further assessment. He is welcome to drop in but I am disappointed he didn't agree to stop when he was there.

Just had another chat now and he wants to have one or two beers a night but I know it won't work and so did the guy at the centre. He had already had three 2.7% ales by 3.30pm. Not good but at least he stopped himself from having a fourth just now.

We are just the two of us tonight steak and chips and some bubbly (cheap) will try and talk again but it's like a brick wall. He has agreed to go back to see them again on Thursday so it's a start. I have made it clear to him that he has to stop or I am not sticking around.

In other money related news signed up to bt broadband as my old company is no longer paying but at least I get free bt sports.

Need new boiler as flu is unfit and it needs new chip, £700 to fix or £3500 for new system plus they will move it to the garage freeing up a kitchen cupboard which is great news.

Got hot water again which is nice and with the bar heaters we can survive until they fit new system on Friday. Boiler was 19 years old so should see a reduction in the gas bills with new one hopefully.

I am going to have a think about my New Years resolutions I think I know what they will be but have no idea what 2014 will bring. Some of 2013 has been really grim (redundancy, DH's drinking, boiler breaking, company not selling) but good bits too new job and fantastic new friends.

Anyway take care all of you and thank for all your support this year much appreciated.