TallGirl's getting back on track diary

Tahlullah

Liking the sound of the new laptop. Always great when you get a new toy. I insist that my Thinkpad is purely for work and try not to use it for frivolities. This will ease after a while and I will start go make the most of it!

My old car (that I have not sold yet) has cream leather interior. Surprisingly, the leather does stay quite clean and is easy to maintain. And I am not the most house proud person and so sometimes forgets what a vacuum cleaner looks like; it stays looking pretty good without too much effort. Lets hope that he manages to look after it so not to soil it too much.

Your managers desire to confront the mistress is a typical reaction. Most women would wish to do so. Actually, if the role was reversed, most men would do the same as well.

The only thing is, it takes two to tango. The husband can't be forced to have an affair. He can't be forced to go off into the sunset with a woman unless he wants to. So, the desire to confront the mistress is a waste of time. The person who she should be confronting is her husband. Because it was his choice. You can only be tempted if you want to be tempted.

And really, what will it achieve? But you can understand the desire.

Stand back, watch the fireworks and be ready to offer support when required. But if as you say she has been through this before, she knows what the rules of engagement are, and what she has to do to survive this. You can contribute nothing to this process that they have evidently been through before and will do again and again until she makes the decision to walk away, saying Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.'

Just be there to listen and try not to be dragged in.

bugslet

Good luck on DH's blood test, I hope it shows some good results for you both.

Hmm, sounds a lovely car....I drive a shed of an old Post Office van because I have 5 dogs, so yuour DH needs to adopt the same mentality, if it's going to get messed up, stay with what you have or at least get something practical.

TBH, confront the mistress if you want. I confronted Mr Bugs trollope and it told her that I wasn't a wallflower - told her to take him or ship out but don't wafle on it told me that she was interested in his money, or her perception that he could access my money:rotfl:. The main thing is what your intention is, if it's to sort out a situation or if its just going to prolong things; if you are going to take control of the situation overall, then it helps, but you have to be prepared to make decisions and stick with them. Two years tells me she hasn't took control and that hands power over. I agree with Tallulah though, don't get dragged in, it's not appropriate for a work situation.

I think everyone's diary is out of control then, everyone has a meander!:D

Tahlullah

Love the word 'trollope' Bugslet. Sounds as bad as it is. Personally, never felt the need to run off with another man attached to another woman. After all, if they can do it with you, they can do it to you. Why would you wish to go there?

Anyway, good to hear you took control of your life. And that's ultimately the issue here. Control. Perhaps now she is ready to stop being treated in this way. Lets hope she gets what she wants, without causing too much pain and anguish to Tall Girl.

TallGirl

Thanks guys as always really sound advice. After several hours of texting she decided not to confront the mistress but talk to him. Got a long text to say they were back together but things would change and she needed to cut down on her drinking. Doesn't sound like much has been resolved but I stayed out of it. It's her choice and your right she is the fool but one day she will have the courage her youngest is doing her exams so I think that's one of the reasons. Anyway I will be there if she needs me.

DH hasn't bought a car going to leave it until the new reg comes out in March you get more part ex in then. He went to practice golf yesterday and helped a teenages who was a left hander like himself with a few pointers. Suddenly the kid could hit the ball and the way he described it I could see he is getting his zest for life back.

Tiles still broken and everywhere has sold out. Ordered some and can ring roofer once we get them and it will all be fixed. Phew don't have to find another tradesman.

Got told to go home 30 min early so made it to the gym and had mc d for dinner. Really naughty but good.

Anyway need to get out of the bath and do some reading. Slept so well after two hours of reading the debt advice handbook

TallGirl

[QUOTE Control. Perhaps now she is ready to stop being treated in this way. Lets hope she gets what she wants, without causing too much pain and anguish to Tall Girl.[/QUOTE]

Totally got that right I said to her don't confront her she will be totally controlled by him. I have been a mistress myself when very young he was twice my age and should have known better.

Let's hope it all goes quiet for a while but don't forget how good she was to me when I had my miscarriage and she also made me face up to DHs drinking had got out of hand again. Just messy that she's my manager but so far it's not been an issue.

Tahlullah

TallGirl wrote: »

Slept so well after two hours of reading the debt advice handbook

That's the equivalent of watching paint dry!!! No wonder you slept well.

TallGirl

Happy news here DHs blood test was much improved and the doctor was really pleased with him. He has to continue to cut down and keep it up long term. I can see him doing it this time and the best thing is he hasn't been drinking in secret.

Work is a bit better but still super busy and new challenges all the time having problems with booking courses for new intake of trainees but might just have to admit defeat and slow things down.

Had four hours off this afternoon to catch up with studies which I did so now up to date but need to gain a week as I go to Oman Saturday week. Cannot wait.
Going out for a few cocktails on Friday with manager and another mutual friend. Hopefully not go too mad.

bugslet

:T:T:T yay that's great news for Tallboy

TallGirl

Thanks Bugslet it did feel good and I now know we wants to get better and I see us having a future.

Got all tiles sorted so think we will get them fitted Wednesday hopefully.

Work a bit crap today the volunteer I upset last Wednesday and I had agreed to talk to tomorrow or Monday has been chatting to the horrid Paid member of staff and then she went it the manager but I think it's all getting sorted but too many people got involved which is a shame. Lesson learned I should have contacted her again but I didn't think I needed to.

Got my first appraisal out of the way second one tomorrow with one we have problems with. The one today is lovely and everyone likes.

Still got a few issues to sort but hopefully I will get ther it's not easy to be a manager but still enjoying it.

Were going out for cocktails tomorrow with our forth friend but she's pulled out and the third one doesn't really want to go. Looks like we will end up doing something but I will be good I cannot be ill for two days afterwards, DH wants to practise golf tomorrow we are also playing 18 holes on Sunday.

TallGirl

Oh dear it's Monday again nice weekend Good Friday night and golf Sunday. Got a bit of studying done too might not need to do any whilst away.

DH still not bought a car phew found one at £15k which we could just about do without finance but he's not sure so I'm not pushing it.

Opened my new 1st direct saver thingy at 6% it's worth it. Got £3700 saved this year which was meant to top up ISA but might need it for car insurance weekend away and Oman. Not all of it but some. Fed up with low isa rates might stick some in my Stocks and shares isa.


Work busy mainly because I'm on a managers overnight residential we'd and Thursday and off next week. My new training supervisor is brilliant at getting things done but I need more time with her. Manager still freaking out about lying cheating husband whom she took back a week ago quite disruptive and I cannot really help.

Anyway I'm sure it will all work itself out in the end.