TallGirl's getting back on track diary

TallGirl

Here we are and it's Sunday morning oh well.

Coffee didn't get picked up courier came and delivered the other one but for some reason DHs office didn't give him our one. No idea why.

Battle with BT broadband continues I can just about live with it on the old PC as I know it's old but the IPad it's horrendous really slow like dial up in the old days.

Went to Weatherspoons for breakfast so tested it on their wifi which cannot be the fastest in the world. Fine I could up dare apps something I cannot do at home. Spoke to chap with strong Indian accent who basically told me I had good enough speeds (I had run the test on the PC) so it was my IPad, the walls in my house, I was too far from the router (at the time I as 30cm).

I kind of lost it as it's been bad since May and he ran some test and could finally see it dips after a while. It's now booked in for further tests and if I don't get a call on Monday evening it's all been fixed. Finally after all that time. Would so love a laptop but guess I should see how PC is once broadband is better,

Car insurance due for renewal 17th Feb that's when I bought my friends car (picking it up in Manchester). Quote is £330 done a few comparisons and it's £200. Annoys me that the sites don't work as well on IPad no where to select protected no claims. Anyway got a bit of time before I need to buy.

Finances rubbish wasted money on certain sites I shouldn't not too much but enough. Need to do better.

DH still doing well, he's been hitting golf balls on the range, fixed his car, had a golf lesson done his dad's washing etc. trying to stay off the beers down to about four a day which is half of what he was doing.

I washed Rossi and saw my fiend yesterday not that energetic. Should play golf today if nice enough but also feel I should offer to go into work with manager as we are so far behind and we new have an audit coming up. Scary.

Must get my mince in the slowcooker run out of frozen individual cottage pies for DH.

Anyway enough waffle hope you all have a lovely Sunday.

Tahlullah

Hi Tallgirl. Just thought I would say hello and let you know I am here and reading. You have had a real trial over the last month or so, but hopefully, life will straighten out and will become easier, and cheaper. On the good side, you now have a nice new central heating system, and you are studying at uni. Downside, is hubby is not ready to give up drinking, but you still have you vice of gambling as well. So, swings and roundabouts really.

No doubt, life will come straight for you soon. You always have something positive happening, which means life is better than you think. Keep reminding yourself of all the good people you know, all the positive you do for others and more importantly, thank whichever diety you believe in for all the small mercies that when put together, means your life is a good one.

Remember, the sun shines every day.

abouttimetoo

Hi TG

Was catching up on your diary earlier this morning (had to go back to November )

Sorry to hear you've got some tough times happening but as Tallulah says you also have a lot of positives and great new things happening for you too

Hope you are well

Regards
ATT

TallGirl

Thanks guys how lovely to come on here and read your posts yes things are a bit ropey and this post is going to be once more tomorrow in money related.

DH is still being good actually if he stuck to this level I could live with it and the old him is coming back which is nice.

It's three weeks to I'm off to Oman which is lovely and as you said nice warm house. Bt broadband still rubbish they have changed something tonight which hopefully will help. Getting fed up now. Coffee machine still not picked up but hey ho minor issue.

Major issue tonight is actually work. I was rude to a volunteer tonight and according to her I was also rude last Friday. Yes I did kind of ignore her today it was 5.30 I needed to go home and she was going on about an it related issue. She was only being nice but I must have ignore her. I really don't remember what I said apart from when she almost started crying (business women of about 60 in age) I immediately apologised and I also sent her a text apologising.

Reason for this behaviour in me can only be because I had a long day, it was playing up, I was trying to do something out of my comfort zone (book appraisals) and my manager was not in a good place and kept texting me. No excuse I know but imitating circumstances hopefully. Volunteer was feeing really ill so maybe she was extra sensitive and I had to spoken to her about her performance review.

Anyway feels better writing it all down to thanks to those who made it this far. Final waffle tonight is how I deal with my manager.

She has suspected her husband is cheating and left him once before but they got back together in June. She has said for a while she suspected him doing it again but needed proof and today she want off to spy on him effectively. She texted me to say she caught him and then a load more text about this other woman. I texted back when she asked about work and offered to come around or speak to her. She had not rung me and declined me coming around. I don't know what to do I cannot tell work why she is off (she told me not to) so guess I shall have to leave it up to her to get in touch. I hope she has someone to talk to (her 15 year old daughter is home with her) but I am a bit worried.

Come on life please can I have it a bit easier.

Tahlullah

Well, as usual, you cannot predict how a volunteer will react in a given situation. Everybody has off days and you would think that by the time you get to the age of 60, you would be able to hold your own in a given situation. By getting upset and crying because you, her supervisor is showing signs of stress ( something that everyone in the voluntary sector is doing at the moment) she is effectively restricting your ability to decompress. You have to hold it in when you know you should releasing your stress and pressure, which in turn could make you more stressed.

On the other hand, the volunteer may not have divulged what is happening in her life to all in the office and may be particularly sensitive, needing a level of support and reassurance that you would ordinarily be able to give if you were less stressed and you were aware of her difficulties.

Again, I would say, don't beat yourself up about this. It's part of life and a part of your work, so accept that on occasion, you are going to upset someone. The time to reevaluate will be when you are wanting to do it deliberately.

In relation to your manager, nothing will help you with this one. You will be dammed if you do and dammed if you don't say something. As people who are upset tend to shoot the messenger, you are probably better saying nothing and erring on the side of neutrality and just being there if she needs you.

Anyway, you need to brace yourself, because I would predict that an awful lot is about to fall on your shoulders. If she has herself, her daughter and her home life to reconstruct and to consider, work may not be at the top of the agenda, which means you will have to pick up the slack, whether you want to or not.

I hope there are others you can rely on to help you and the bureau get through this traumatic time. It is always difficult when an office finds itself without its leader. Being delegated the responsibility is only half the task. The hard bit will be to take the rest of the team along with you on the journey. The task of storming, forming, norming and finally performing has to begin again for you as they change your role in the teams head. So no, I do not think life is going to get easier any time soon. But look at the opportunity you are being given to grow and develop. And to use what you are learning on the course. Try to enjoy the ride.

bugslet

You do some terrific supportive posts Tallulah!

I agree, don't say anything about the manager's circumstances, it's her business and unless she asks you specifically to say something ( which IMO she shouldn't), then you are best keeping quiet. I can't believe she has waited so long to find out for sure after her initial suspicions - that's a shed load of stress to deal with for 6 months.

As for the crying woman, all I can say is she better not join the world of haulage. I cannot imagine that you have deliberately hurt her or upset her, so you might not have been super attentive to her. In CAB world, this probably won't work, but I'd tell her to man up. You don't snivel in work time.

Chin up chuck.

TallGirl

Thank you so much both of your for our posts how lovely to come on here and read those tonight, I really appreciate the words it all makes sense and in particular Tahlullah about how you have to take that slack.

I spoke to a couple of people about the volunteer who cried and they agree she can do that but has a lot going on personally as well. I thin what set it off was me telling her I had booked her appraisal and then said a trainee wanted to shadow her and do her write ups. It could sound like I was out to get her I honestly wasn't it was meant to be a help as she always stays late to write up her cases or have to come in another day which is what she did yesterday. I'm sure I can sort it though.

As for the manager she came in after hours and left me a couple of notes then texted me saying she would be in later but hadn't slept. She came in but was really struggling and kept trying to tell me what happened but we got interupted so many times.

Finally got her to go home early to be there when her daughter was returning from school. I find myself so worried about her it's affecting my consentration did get a lot done though but still behind. I don't think she will stop coming in or working as she is not like that but I will be mindful would hate to be in charge but I do have some good paid staff behind me.

I will relish the challenges and enjoy it but be aware that mixing working and being friends is a thin line which so far I must say is working.

Can't wait for Friday and the weekend please no more dramas.

TallGirl

Friday night and there was no more dramas thank god. Been out for a couple of white wine spritzer and got home at 8pm to DH already in bed so guess I will have an early night too,

Manager ok so feel better about that, we have worked out I am the one that plan, analyse and the decide where as she is the one that does things in a gut instint. She reckons that's why we work so well together. The roe people I survise have done really wel this week and have both enjoyed themselves. Horrid paid staff is still annoying but we can beat her. She is in the middle of managers breakup which is quite frankly a bit of a worryl

Anyway all good DH not been to bad but a bit annoyed I was going out tonight . Oh well.

TallGirl

Afternoon typing this from our new laptop £689 incl Office and Windows 7 with £14 cashback from Quidco and no delivery charge. Its very nice takes of a bit of getting use to (keyboard) and it refuses to use the printer wirelessly. Reay annoying.

Been out for breakfast, done Tesco and after buying Laptop went to play golf. It really was too wet so only played 4 but still nice to at least get out.

DH has gone to our local WV dealer wants to look at the jetta :eek: his car is older than is usually have but our finances are different now that there is nothing wrong with his beige Audi A4 its actually lovely to drive. He promised he wouldnt by a new car most likely the sales people will ignore him they always do that when you walk in there.

Had a better day at work Friday and we have a potential 3 new advisers to interview on next week and I agreed we would help another bureau to train 2 of theirs. No idea why it seems a good idea at the time and I dont think it will create extra work. 4 of us went out for drink last night. It was really nice and manager seems a bit better. At least she hasnt taken cheating husband back apparently this has been going on for 2 years now and our other two friends have seen it all before. I am staying out of it as much as I can but its hard . She thinks I am amazing and we have sussed out why we work so well together its because she relies on her gut instint I analyse and deliberate a lot before making a decision.

Anyway enough about all that drama peace and calm here but next week could be interesting as DH has his blood test and doctors appointment and if things havent improved I could be making some hard decisions like my manager. :eek:

He is doing quite well but I fear he will slip back into old habits but so far so good. Bloodtests dont lie actualy my manager said she wish you could do a test for infidility. :rotfl:

Really should have done some gardening tidy up in the greenhouse but didnt feel like it. Tomorrow I will try to do it.

2 weeks until I go to Oman must suss out currency etc and think about packing. Need to dress appropriately obviously.

TallGirl

Things get weirder here, went to see the car DH had been looking at its a demo VW Jetta black with cream leather. DH is so messy with his cars and he smokes in them so they are pretty rank after a short while. It's got cream carpets honestly with all the oily bits he carry around and the milk cartons etc it will be ruined within months. He really wants it. The finance package is strange I cannot work it out. There has to be a balloon payment somewhere.

Anyway when we left the showroom there was a big gust of wind and it lashed down. When we got back our roof on the back of the house had lost several tiles and one of the ridges from the top. It must have happened just then as we were only out for one hour. I had already said in jest his mother would turn in her grave if he bought a cream leather car with his inheritance and we get home to that damage. Maybe I'm weird.

Manager is texting me with a plan to confront them mistress she's off her head if she does it.

Sorry this diary is totally out of control