Big arguements and new pregnancy

FBaby

It sounds like you guys have decided to bury your heads in the sand before getting pregnant, putting off discussing your relationship, finances and the rest then so now that you are pregnant, it is all hitting both of you at once, both of you feeling stressed. You say that you are not too happy about him assuming you would want to get back to work for him, but surely that is a discussion you should have had before falling pregnant which would have been much less difficult than to have now.

It also sounds like your man is suffering from insecurities about being liked and that makes him feel under even more pressure to do right by you and the baby. It is not nice to feel that your partner's family don't like you, almost like they are waiting for him to fail to be able to tell you 'told you so'. What has he done that make them feel this way?

I really think you guys going to have to finally discuss all the material matters that comes with having a baby and agree how to go about it. You need to be in it together as a unit, at least giving a chance to be that, instead of thinking about your individual needs and what you expect from the other. If you don't, very quickly, you will only be left focussing on all the negatives and feeling like victims rather than working on your relationship and family as a team.

FBaby

Person_one wrote: »

Huh? Where on earth did you 'take' that from?

That's the point, I didn't but it is another assumption no different to the one that some made that her boyfriend was controlling and potentially abusive, despite nothing much said that made this a definite fact.

Suz24

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sassyblue

Suz honey, get rid.

He shouldn't even need to be asked to look up pregnancy hormones, why do you need to justify yourself to him? Morning sickness (so badly named) is awful, everyone gets ill anyway it's as if he's not allowing you to be ill.

The statement about him expecting you to go back to work with him and baby 'pretty soon' and on groundwork sites? no, no and no. That's for YOU or both of you to decide when you return. If you ever do, but your baby shouldn't be there.

I echo someone else, go back to your mums for a week and get your head cleared, this man is jumbling your head up and you can't see the wood for the trees.

Be very careful and watch out..... You are never going to be right in the eyes of this man and you are always going to be upset and questioning yourself, please think carefully if this is what you want.

sassyblue

Suz24 wrote: »

I want to be able to spend time with my bubba and showing them off to family.

Somehow l doubt he will be happy about you seeing your family! Be prepared for him to isolate you further with a baby.

candygirl

Although he might be a lovely chap, and potentially fantastic father, here are some red flags to ponder on.Not that i'm saying his behaviour is already this bad:D
http://www.psychopathfree.com/showthread.php?2722-Article-30-Red-Flags

System

To throw another spanner in the works, if he is jealous of your best friend will he get jealous of the attention you'll be giving to the baby?

Suz24

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Suz24

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candygirl

Suz24 wrote: »

A few of the points on here i can see in him......

In a way i'm glad you can see them hun.It might help you move on, or even if you stay with him have a deeper understanding of how he ticks.Good luck x:D