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Big arguements and new pregnancy

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Comments

  • marisco_2
    marisco_2 Posts: 4,261 Forumite
    Suz24 wrote: »
    I am considering going back home for a couple of days so we can both cool down and then start again

    I would advise against doing this. You two are going to be parents soon. You cant walk away when things get difficult. You need to stay and work it out together as soon as possible. I hope he will return soon and be in a frame of mind whereby you can talk and resolve your differences.
    The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own, no apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on or blame. The gift is yours - it is an amazing journey - and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.
  • paulineb_2
    paulineb_2 Posts: 6,489 Forumite
    He sounds like he is running your life for you, and not running it very well to be honest. I'd go home and have a really good think about whether this is really what you want.

    I agree, a few things that have been posted that are a bit concerning really.
  • Can you renew your contact with your old friends, even if just via facebook or something?

    The thought of someone being so utterly reliant on one person for their whole life makes me concerned about you and your isolation- was it deliberate on his part to get you living with him, working with him, reliant on him for friendship? Was it his idea to conceive a child?

    I really hope I'm wrong but there are a lot of red flags there.
    They call me Dr Worm... I'm interested in things; I'm not a real doctor but I am a real worm. :grin:
  • Kate78
    Kate78 Posts: 525 Forumite
    Seriously? I'm probably going to get shot down for this...

    I'd be giving some thought about your options are right now. Are you guys really ready to become parents?
    Barclaycard 0% - [STRIKE]£1688.37 [/STRIKE] Paid off 10.06.12
  • Suz24
    Suz24 Posts: 46 Forumite
    Eighth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited 22 September 2013 at 8:32PM
    T...............................
  • paulineb_2
    paulineb_2 Posts: 6,489 Forumite
    Suz24 wrote: »
    Thanks guys, i will let him come home in his own time and try to talk to him and take it from there.

    marisco i can completely see what your saying, it just makes me so cross that he runs away from it all the time. He just gets in the car and goes, for hours on end sometimes and i am just sat in the room waiting for him :-(

    You dont see your friends, his previous baggage is becoming yours (and I appreciate it must be hard for him), you work for him, you are dependent on his family to give you lifts around and you argue a lot.

    I do hope there are some good points as well in this relationship

    Im going to stick my neck out and say yes, go and spend some time with your parents, be around people who care about you and who dont stress you out

    And please try and sort out the situation with friends, we all need them, you can try and put things right.
  • Suz24
    Suz24 Posts: 46 Forumite
    Eighth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited 22 September 2013 at 8:32PM
    ....................................
  • paulineb_2
    paulineb_2 Posts: 6,489 Forumite
    Suz24 wrote: »
    My best friend added me on facebook, i accepted and he turned round to me before i had even messaged her and said its me or her, you decide....

    He wanted me to move in with him, we are engaged but marraige doesn't get spoken about anymore, mostly because of money. He brought up having a baby first, i then agreed. This was when i was still full time employed, goodish salary so it made sense. We then tried, things didn't happen and he assumed the doctors where right that he wouldn't be able to have children.

    Reading this all back and reading peoples reactions is making me realise this relationship is toxic :(

    Well, there are aspects of it that arent positive

    No one should ever make you choose between them and a friend.
  • January20
    January20 Posts: 3,769 Forumite
    Debt-free and Proud!
    He sounds like he is running your life for you, and not running it very well to be honest. I'd go home and have a really good think about whether this is really what you want.


    I agree with this. I would go even further and say he is trying to control your life. How typical that he should dislike your best friend! Making his feelings clear I imagine to the point you lost touch with her!

    So let's recap:
    - you lost your friends, and your best friend because of him;
    - you gave up your job and your car for him - to help him in a business you know nothing about and makes little to no money. So you are completely financially dependant on him.
    - he gets funny when you want to visit your parent's place (which you call home, have you noticed?) under the pretext he needs you in the business.

    Need I say more?
    LBM: August 2006 £12,568.49 - DFD 22nd March 2012
    "The road to DF is long and bumpy" GreenSaints
  • Suz24 wrote: »
    My best friend added me on facebook, i accepted and he turned round to me before i had even messaged her and said its me or her, you decide....


    Reading this all back and reading peoples reactions is making me realise this relationship is toxic :(

    Why would anyone stop their partner from having a best friend? Yes, this does look extremely toxic. And now you are pregnant with his child. What a very sad state of affairs. :(
    Sanctimonious Veggie. GYO-er. Seed Saver. Get in.
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