Big arguements and new pregnancy

Suz24

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RAS

Have either of you looked at the benefits sites to find out what sort of financial help you will get after the child is born?

www.turn2us.org.uk

You need to find out how much the Local Housing Allowance is in your area.

FBaby

Well now is not the time to decide if it is the right time to have a baby. It was planned, so both of you need to face the consequences end of.

It sounds like both of you are anxious, you afflicted by the hormones (and whatever men think, they are tough to deal with), and it is all coming the wrong way.

I'm assuming you've been together for some time so should know what each other's triggers are by now. You need to remember how you best communicate with each other, concentrate on the other's needs rather than your own, and try to see the other's perspective. It's amazing how easy everything can seem to go wrong just because of misinterpretation of one's feeling because no one listens to the other any longer.

Your priority is to get through the next 7 weeks, his is to accept the situation. Don't antagonize each other, take it easy as much as you can, all those conversations can take place later when you are both more used to the idea of becoming parents and can talk about it more peacefully.

Gigglepig

Suz24 wrote:

I know they will panic when i tell them i am pregnant as my OHs business barely supports us nevermind a baby. He is talking about moving out as we live with his mum and dad at the mo but we wouldn't even have the money for rent, bills and food.
[...]

He has said i have made him feel like he wont be able to provide for a baby

From your post it sounds like the two of you will struggle to provide but this is not just your OH's responsibility. Do you work, if so perhaps you could return to work and leave childcare to your OH? If you don't have a job then getting one (or two, for a while) might be a top priority.

Frankly as a pregnant woman myself I would never have dreamed of TTC if I couldn't even afford rent, bills and food. Perhaps reality has suddenly sunk in for your OH.

January20

Honestly? Your situation is scary!
You have no home and live with his parents, have no money to even think of moving out and you are pregnant! And you seem to have a super sensitive partner who cannot accept the fact that he doesn't earn enough to support your family but wi go in a huff and blame you for making him feel bad when you speak to him candidly! If you were my daughter, I would panic too!

And what concerns me is that you said you have lost touch with all your friends since starting this relationship. Why is that? Why are you so isolated?

Suz24

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RAS

January20 wrote: »

And what concerns me is that you said you have lost touch with all your friends since starting this relationship. Why is that? Why are you so isolated?

This is a very relevant question; even more so if you work for him.

Funky_Bold_Ribena

Why have you lost your friends?

Suz24

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Suz24

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Funky_Bold_Ribena

He sounds like he is running your life for you, and not running it very well to be honest. I'd go home and have a really good think about whether this is really what you want.