Providing spending money for child going on hol

shegirl

jellyhead wrote: »

Yes, but I can see how it would be awkward if the host child doesn't have any money for some reason.

I would hand over some money to both of them as spending money, as you said, and ask how much the host child has and make sure that my child had the same ... actually, I'd ask first, in case the host child had more than I was expecting

But also give money towards the food.

I don't really 'get' the posts about how the daughter got a good deal to be honest. It wasn't a holiday that the OP asked for or planned, and who knows whether she could actually afford to hand over £60 for a few days where she might have previously planned for her daughter to play with friends and cost very little. Maybe OP's other child now also wants an expensive treat or extra holiday?

Maybe it even means they can't afford a family holiday this year. I wouldn't assume that just because the other mum is a single mum that she's necessarily any worse off than the OP.

Perhaps I'm looking at it from a different angle because we are really stretched at the moment, and if somebody offered my child a few days away at a cost of £60 my heart would sink and I'd have to work out if we could still afford our family holiday this summer, which is 3 nights in a travelodge, hardly luxurious.

I've just got back from taking my youngest camping with family and I was really worried about how I could try to get out of going due to the cost. I only went because I was offered transport, and my tent went next to family's caravan so I wasn't charged. We spent most of our time on the beach or exploring the woods and streams around the campsite, collecting sticks for the fire pit, having a family barbeque, etc. where the only unnecessary cost was a £1 bag of marshmallows. £2 for a donkey ride and £10 per child total for the arcade and fairground bit. £1 for a crab line and a bit of bacon pinched from breakfast. £2 for an ice cream but not every day. Most drinks were squash or from cheap supermarket multipacks.

Reading about the amount of money some of you expect to get through in an arcade I'm starting to wonder if perhaps I'm too much of a penny-pincher? They had fun though. I did splurge on a pack of top trumps cards because I'd forgotten to bring some from home.

She got a good deal because she paid a small amount for days away!The fact that the hadn't asked for or planned the break is completely irrelevant.Her daughter was invited,she accepted and got a good deal.

If she couldn't afford it or couldn't afford a family holiday due to it,she shouldn't have done it.If the other child wants a treat now,well so?That is also irrelevant and a prior consideration.

How many people do you think get to go on holiday for a grand total of £60?!!! See,it was a good deal.Her daughter got a bargain holiday.

jellyhead

Ok, fair enough, most of you see it that way, but I see it as more like inviting children to your own child's birthday party. If you can't pay, don't invite them, or change the type of party so that you can afford it.

As for buying drinks at a theme park, I don't. I take a picnic. I assume that the family in question do too, based on what was said about not going for a meal out. I am assuming that they are as poor and mean as I am

Children don't need ice creams every day, even while on holiday. I can go to a theme park and spend no extra money other than the car park charge.

and yes, perhaps OP could have said no if she couldn't afford it. We don't know if she was asked beforehand or if the child was invited before the parents were consulted. If the child was asked then perhaps the parents didn't like to say no, especially if they see an 'invite' in the same way that I do, an actual invite rather than a request to pay the cost.

paulineb_2

I agree totally about a birthday party but I think a 3 day holiday is different and I think most kids would like some pocket money spends, even if it were £5 or £10

And Im totally aware not everyone can afford that, but if it were a question of not being able to spare £60 all the parent has to say is, we dont have much spare cash, thanks for the offer, we are going to have to politely decline or, yes I'd love her to go but I can only contribute £40 just now.

Spendless

pinkladyof66 wrote: »

I cant personally comment on what money is acceptable and who should pay for what as I would not let my 10 year old child away on holiday other people unless it was family...

and that is relevant....how? Unless it is to say the issue wouldn't come up as they would only be away with family. When you have a younger child (as I know you do) it isn't easy to project what you will/won't do when they are older. They get more invites when they are older,of this type, less time where the parent will be with them.

As I said a few posts ago this thread isn't about whether I should or shouldn't have contributed to a holiday already booked and that daughter wouldn't have gone on if the original dates had been stuck to. Nor is it about whether £50 (as £10 came from my parents) is a good deal. I will say it's not as one sided as some people seem to be implying. The girls regularly have weekend sleepovers and dd when she goes to friends does free stuff (parks, walks with dog etc) there and when friend comes to us we do more paying stuff - going swimming, cinema. I have no problem with what either girl does. I pay for friend when she is here and I don't ask for or receive anything to pay for these things.

Spendless

btw since the price of food at the theme park has come up. Without me naming it it is a seaside funfair type place not the likes of Alton Towers. Food bought there was a tray of chips shared by the girls as this was the day they had cereal instead of the cooked breakfast the adults had had.

paulineb_2

Its about whether the parent was right to ask your daughter to pay for the entrance to the aquarium from her own pocket money?

Or whether you think the £40 you gave them was spent wisely?

The thing is, threads can and do veer off into tangents as Im sure you know.

miamoo

Looking at this from the other familys position, maybe they hadn't intended letting their dd spend money on the arcade, but because your dd had her own money they had to then give her some money (and they overspent) therefore as your dd had money left she paid for herself.
My kids have been away with friends before, I gave the parents money plus the kids some pocket money but I have no idea what it was spent on, and I don't really care as long as they were looked after, had a nice time, and everyone was happy.

Spendless

miamoo wrote: »

Looking at this from the other familys position, maybe they hadn't intended letting their dd spend money on the arcade, but because your dd had her own money they had to then give her some money (and they overspent) therefore as your dd had money left she paid for herself.

Though dd was only at an arcade because the adults took her there. If it was an issue to them they didn't have to go. DD wouldn't have gone on her own. DD said she shared money with her friend for the 2p machines -and gave her any of the stuff that came out of them -this is correct as she's fetched nothing souvenir type home and she told me this prior to mentioning the aquarium admission. I do believe it was to do with the discrepancy of the children s spending power (either complete or in part) now but it really wasn't anything I had considered before.

paulineb_2

Spendless wrote: »

Though dd was only at an arcade because the adults took her there. If it was an issue to them they didn't have to go. DD wouldn't have gone on her own. DD said she shared money with her friend for the 2p machines -and gave her any of the stuff that came out of them -this is correct as she's fetched nothing souvenir type home and she told me this prior to mentioning the aquarium admission. I do believe it was to do with the discrepancy of the children s spending power (either complete or in part) now but it really wasn't anything I had considered before.

The only way you could have complete control of how she spent her money was to be on holiday with her yourself.

I may be wrong but are you upset that your daughter subsidised her friend or the family because they didnt have much money on them?
Or I assume they didnt have much money on them.

Were there any positives to your daughters holiday?

Spendless

paulineb wrote: »

The only way you could have complete control of how she spent her money was to be on holiday with her yourself.

I may be wrong but are you upsehttp://static.moneysavingexpert.com/images/forum_smilies/laughing-smiley-014.gift that your daughter subsidised her friend or the family because they didnt have much money on them?
Or I assume they didnt have much money on them.

Were there any positives to your daughters holiday?

Yes. Have I indicated this wasn't the case? In my opening post I say why I am asking.

Spendless wrote: »

Let me make it clear I am not cross about this, the overall cost remains the same to me, just wondering if in future I give or allocate more money to dd and tell her to pay her own way for admissions etc and interested in others thought and the way they do it.

Later on in the thread I mention the day I posted I was lying ill with an ear infection and thought it made an interesting topic to chat about too.