What's going on in this man's head: round 2

dilemma10

I know I know. I'm kidding myself and it's so hard.

Argh.

paulineb_2

dilemma10 wrote: »

I know I know. I'm kidding myself and it's so hard.

Argh.

Of course its tough and I do think when women meet someone and they like them and its not reciprocated as much, a part of them thinks, if they get close to me, if we have sex then they'll get to like me

And sometimes that might happen, but Id say its rare. Your emotions are involved, you may have to accept that if you give him the boot your emotions will still be involved even if you dont see him, but in the long run, unless you really can steel yourself to sleep with this guy, get up in the morning and live your life not knowing when you'll see him again, you are just going to end up badly hurt.

Does matter how much he likes you and you like him, doesnt matter how good the sex is, if he cant commit to you even in the short term you are just getting the scraps of his time, absolutely half measures and sometimes I think we need to give ourselves a big wake up call and realise, Im better than that.

Sleeping with him isnt going to change his mind if hes already made it up.

You dont need to issue ultimatums, I think you should just be busy for a number of weeks until you can get your head around whether you want to continue on with the way things are, or not.

You deserve better that is the bottom line. Whether you believe that or not is up to you.

[Deleted User]

Pointless thread really. You don't need genuine help or advise do you?
Like I said in a previous post - you must want this....

Amanda65

eschaton wrote: »

OP - did you get your no strings attached weekend shag?

dilemma10 wrote: »

With him?

Erm yes I'm embarrassed to say.

Argh!

The tbh why on earth are you posting asking what to do - you've already decided :wall:

meritaten

dilemma - you are letting yourself be used - you know that and that is why you are embarrassed. BUT, its not all down to you. this 'nice' man is cynically using you and whats more he is well aware you want a relationship. read the threads back from the beginning as if they were posted by a stranger. and you will see why most of us are urging you to 'step away from the neighbour'! he is toxic hun. don't you KNOW that men can be nice as pie to your face in order to get their leg over? get your head around the fact that he doesn't want a relationship (and if he has had a ten year relationship I will eat my hat, this is just his 'excuse'). he just wants an 'easy lay'. and you are it!

I am sorry - I know you have feelings for him and to you, the sex means something. so that doesn't make you cheap or a tart - but, hun, to him all he has to do is be nice and you are warming his bed! so to HIM you are an easy lay.

eschaton

dilemma10 wrote: »

With him?

Erm yes I'm embarrassed to say.

Argh!

I bet the neighbours think of you as the village/town bike.

Stephb1986_2

He's just doing it to get his end away. My question is what are you doing it for? Are you just wanting to be used because that's all it is and I might get flamed for this but at least a prostitute gets paid for it what do you get? Not even a tinny on the sofa.

You are under valuing yourself. Close your legs and tell him to do one! your being use my love.

meritaten

eschaton wrote: »

I bet the neighbours think of you as the village/town bike.

That's not nice - or accurate! OP has 'feelings' for this man!

dilemma10

eschaton wrote: »

I bet the neighbours think of you as the village/town bike.

Thanks for that - especially rational and balanced comment.

And if they did, would I be bothered?

I'm not a !!!!!. We don't just sit next to each other horizontally all day long.

This started as a friendship which developed into more over the course of 4 months but during that time he's stated he does not want a relationship.

That does not make me a village idiot.

Goodnight.

Brighton_belle

eschaton wrote: »

I bet the neighbours think of you as the village/town bike.

Then that would say far far more about them than the OP.