What's going on in this man's head: round 2

skattykatty

As others have said...the question is:

What is going on in your head?

(Aside: what do you get out of this drama? do you get to feel caring? attractive? femme fatal-ish? nurturing? exciting? you keep going back for more so there is something in it for you too. Is whatever that something is worth it?)

busiscoming2

Doesn't matter what is going on in his head.

He wants you to be there for him when he wants attention. You pander to him.

My advice: Stop having sex with him. Go on holiday and enjoy yourself.

When you come back either cut all ties with him and move on with your life or just be friends WITHOUT benefits!

trolleyrun

Do a Bolt - run as fast as you can. You're allowing this guy to use you. He doesn't want a relationship, but as he hasn't met anyone else you'll do for now. If it seems you're pulling away, he'll tell you what you want to hear - just enough to reel you back in. I don't know how many times you need him to tell you that he doesn't want a relationship with you.

Take pride in yourself and walk away, and with that you'll keep your self-respect. Do you not realise that you deserve better? You are in control of your behaviour and you're allowing him (right now) to take advantage of you and your good nature. Go and enjoy your holiday, do whatever you like whilst away and forget about this guy. He won't make you happy.

(Sorry to sound harsh, I don't mean to, but as this is your second thread about this I figured out it had to be said).

sulkisu

tea_lover wrote: »

I genuinely don't get the confusion (or the need for an identical second thread). He's been perfectly honest about not wanting a relationship.

^^^ this.

OP - What part of the situation are you not understanding? He wants sex, not a relationship. Confusion over.

MrsAtobe

He doesn't want a relationship with you, but he doesn't want anyone else to either.

Please enjoy your holiday, and don't contact him when you get back.

Amanda65

dilemma10 wrote: »

he does not want me to hate him as we have sex etc and that he enjoys my company a lot but that he does not want a relationship...?

Haven't read the other thread but got the gist of what's going on. If you meant anything at all to him, other than a handy legover, he would want a relationship - simples.

Why would you waste time, energy and emotions on a needy guy who wants to have his cake and to eat it?

neverdespairgirl

tea_lover wrote: »

I genuinely don't get the confusion (or the need for an identical second thread). He's been perfectly honest about not wanting a relationship.

I second that - it's really not complicated, OP. I know you want it to be complicated, so that you don't have to believe what he's telling you outright, he wants a friendship and sex, with no committment from him.

MakeupAddict_2

What's going on in this man's head is that the world revolves around him and his needs, and if he thinks things aren't going exactly the way that suits him, he's so immature that he cries and sulks. Everything you've written on both threads has been reporting back how he says he feels, what he wants, what he doesn't want. There's never anything about him asking how you feel.

I recommend -

1. Go on holiday and have a lovely time

2. Stop being his friend with benefits. Even if you think you're enjoying it, he's using you and will drop you when he finds someone else. Then you'll feel even more like !!!!!! than you do now.

3. If he ever does get round to suggesting a relationship, run as fast as you can in the opposite direction. Everything would have to be about him, with you treading on eggshells to make sure you never upset him or failed to respond to his every whim.

Leave him alone, forget him, let him find someone else to pander to him!

MuAx

dilemma10

Thanks all, very constructive advice on here .

Bazey

dilemma10 wrote: »

Thanks all, very constructive advice on here .

You're welcome.