What's going on in this man's head: round 2

dilemma10

Hi everybody,
You may remember me posting this thread about my neighbour -https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4728889
We have still been "seeing" each other and with more intensity. However he's away for two weeks and yesterday I told him I am going away to a party island (won't disclose here, may be too much info, but you know where). However, I'm simply going for the sun and reading back to back books. His mood changed completely when I told him where I was off to (and considering he does not want a relationship with me, this intrigued me). He then went out for the night and was texting me to tell me what a bad mood he was in resulting in a final text telling me he sometimes feels like bursting into tears...so I went out to find him in my car to get him back home (to be caring), and we chatted and I asked him if it was something I had done, he tried to shrug the conversation off but finally opened up about how he does not want me to hate him as we have sex etc and that he enjoys my company a lot but that he does not want a relationship...? I was very cool and said that's fine, but then he started asking me questions about my holiday - will I be partying, will I be playing the field etc, so it's obvious my planned escapades have got to him....

Do I walk away?

We have been doing this for 3.5 months and he has said at least 3/4 times he does not want a relationship, at the same time he is clingy with me in terms of wants to see me every day...I am confused?

skylight

Do I walk away??


Of course! You are worth more than he is offering. Still!

19lottie82

really, was this not answered a million times in your last thread?

why start a new thread? you've been given the same answer by loads of different posters.

I'm sorry OP but you come across as a bit of an attention seeker. Prob why you haven't shown an ounce of common sense and kicked this guy to the kerb by now.

Bazey

Ibiza..........

Bazey

This guy sounds like a douche, you sound !!!!!!!' awesome. Forget about him and get with me. I wont cry every 5 minutes.

lostinrates

You ask what is going on in his head.....but perhaps the more useful question for you to address might be what is going in in yours?

What is it YOU want and as you are not getting whatever it is why are you maintaining what the relationship does offer?


Reading back, that might read as a little confrontational, can I please assure you its not meant to be at all.

HeadAboveWater

Would actually second what lostinrates says. What do YOU want?

If it's a relationship you want, then walk run away. He's made it very clear he doesn't want one. You'll end up getting hurt.

dilemma10

Thanks, sorry guys. I am not an attention seeker at all. I am just very confused .

VestanPance

Doesn't want a relationship, but shows issues of jealousy and being emotionally fragile. He sounds about as far away as you can be from being ready to be dating anyone in any capacity.

Walk away and enjoy your holiday.

System

Hes actually saying he doesn't want to commit himself to you but he doesn't want you to find yourself someone else either.

A saying springs to mind....

'you cant have your cake and eat it!'

Just go... sod him he's playing mind games.

Okydoky25

I had a similar relationship many years ago and after a year I had to walk away. I was in Love with him. He loved me but it was never going to turn into what I wanted. It was hard but 6 months later I met my now Husband and have never looked back.

This man was so right for me in so many ways but he couldn't commit to a future and to be fair he stated that from the onset.

I believe he's still behaving the same now...sad way to live if you ask me but his loss.