How to meet people with Christian values for a relationship?

Amanda65

Would she/you consider https://www.mysinglefriend.com ?

You could write a lovely profile for her and she could take it from there. Alternatively what about getting involved in volunteering activities for local charities where she will come across people of all ages from all walks of life - one of whom may fit

Voyager2002

miss_independent wrote: »

In all seriousness, Lourdes would be a good suggestion. Most Dioceses hold an annual pilgrimage to Lourdes and need Medical staff to volunteer to go and help with sick pilgrims. Most are Catholic, some are not. Lourdes isn't happy clappy and they will get to meet people their own age from their own area with similar values (although sadly some people do go to Lourdes and get drunk). Lots of people I know met in Lourdes and go year after year. Also, in terms of relationships and shyness, it's really no pressure. If they meet someone great, if not, at least they've done some good for others.

You might also consider suggesting a visit to Taize: the ethos is Christian but it is ecumenical rather than specifically Catholic; the atmosphere is unique; it attracts young people from all over Europe.

mintymoneysaver

I was going to suggest meetup too.

poet123

daisiegg wrote: »

Wow, ok, loads of things to respond to! Let me try and see if I can clarify some stuff.

1) Friend doesn't NOT want to date Christians, by any means - friend just doesn't necessarily want to meet someone through a specifically church related activity, through concern that the person may have a huge interest in the Church and it might form a large part of their life, which it doesn't for friend. I'm sure friend would RATHER date a Christian than a non-Christian in fact; but not one who considers their Church to be the main part of their life, attends activities multiple times a week, etc.

2) Yes, friend is Catholic. The Catholic Church friend belongs to is pretty non-demonstrative. Friend is not a demonstrative person and would feel very uncomfortable with someone who was into lots of singing and clapping, praying out loud, etc. Friend's faith is important to them, but they see it as a private thing between them and God.

3) Leading on from that, friend is NOT judgemental. Friend has friends who are Muslim, Jewish, Catholic, other more 'happy clappy' (for want of a better phrase) Christian denomination, non-religious, gay, etc. It is not judgemental to know that you don't want a relationship with a particular type of person - friend just knows they wouldn't fit in with someone who was hugely into a very demonstrative form of Christian faith, and wanted to attend loads of Church events, etc.

4) 'Desperate' was my phrasing. Friend wouldn't come across as 'desperate' to members of the opposite sex. In fact most people who know friend would assume they are happy as larry being single. They also assume, because friend is actually very attractive, that friend must get loads of offers and is just taking their time. Sadly this isn't the case; I don't know why. It is only because we are close that I know they would actually really love a relationship and described them as being 'desperate' for it. I think there is a difference between desperately wanting something and being a desperate person!

5) The alcohol thing is in no way related to religion, just friend's personal preference. Friend also doesn't love being around people who are drinking a lot, which I know is a self-imposed limitation and something they should try to get over.

6) As for the sex thing, I'm pretty sure friend wouldn't mind if they fell in love with someone who wasn't a virgin. In fact, despite what some people have concluded, friend is a very non-judgemental person; holds strong personal ideals but does not expect everyone else to conform to them. It's just that the person they dated would need to accept that friend wouldn't be sleeping with them at first - and probably not for a long time, possibly not until marriage, but certainly not until the relationship was established as being very long-term and serious.

7) For those who were debating over whether friend is or isn't hugely religious - friend is fairly religious, but in a very quiet and private way. They are reserved about it and see it as a personal thing. They do not preach to others or try to convert anyone and probably wouldn't mesh very well with someone who did.

8) For those who are thinking that friend must be physically unattractive, I really can assure you this really isn't the case.

9) For those wondering why it is so hard to meet people generally - would it help to know that friend is a junior doctor, with all the associated horrendously long shifts, etc. Friend also attended Cambridge, which has a HUGE drinking culture (though you may not be aware of it if you didn't go there/know someone who did) so friend found it very difficult not only to meet people of the opposite sex, but also just to make friends. Friend's good friends mostly ended up being Chinese, who were the people who were most like friend in terms of being studious, reserved, non-drinking etc, but now these have all gone home to China and friend has few friends left!

Phew! I think that may have covered it all. I must say I am a bit surprised by some of the really judgemental attitudes some people have displayed, and the assumptions that have been made. Thank you to those who have tried to help!

Where does friend live? I have a son who exactly fits her criteria:rotfl:

C_Mababejive

Christian young ladies may well keep their hands on their ha'penny for marriage but i doubt that the practice is so prevalent amongst "christian" males.

The few Christians I know are total hypocrites. I know i generalise and maybe i dont know many of them. Mind you, how would i know they were christian anyway?

j.e.j.

junior doctor.. pfft! sounds like friend's too young for me, oh well :rotfl:

teacherandmum

I met my husband thru a dating agency (both found it difficult to meet people in regular places due to work) and the form that they gave to fill in when they were getting details from you included a large selection of questions about your values and ideas from politics to religion, to finances to hobbies etc. it was excellent and I was the first woman my husband dated from it and he was the second man I had dated using it. we have been together 10 years this year. married for 8 and have 2 young children!
It was called dateline
http://www.dateline.co.uk/

Voyager2002

daisiegg wrote: »

Wow, ok, loads of things to respond to! Let me try and see if I can clarify some stuff.

SNIP

5) The alcohol thing is in no way related to religion, just friend's personal preference. Friend also doesn't love being around people who are drinking a lot, which I know is a self-imposed limitation and something they should try to get over.

Actually, I don't think that this is something they should "try to get over". Speaking as someone who enjoys " a pint or three", I find the behaviour and manners of people who are drunk or even 'merry' decidedly unpleasant. If I'm out with people I take care not to drink more than the person who drinks least: if one of the party is on soft drinks then I make a half-pint last for the evening. Anything else would simply be bad manners.

dandelionclock30

It sounds like you really think a lot about your friend, what about you getting together with them?. Lots of relationships start from friendships.