How to meet people with Christian values for a relationship?

cakeforbrains

rozmister wrote: »

The Church I went to preached no sexual contact before marriage and you shouldn't encourage 'impure thoughts' in others before marriage. So it was basically kissing and then a cold shower!!

lol, eek!

I just want to say, thinking about the post I just made, I realise that it probably comes across as more judgemental than I meant it to. I hope it didn't offend anyone who has these beliefs. I think everyone is entitled to their beliefs. I find it all probably a bit too interesting, to be honest!

Tish_P

Another thought - there are a few dedicated dating sites for introverts, which shortens the odds on finding someone who'd rather go for a nice walk and bring a picnic than get drunk and go clubbing.

miss_independent

If they are a very devout Catholic then technically they shouldn't participate in any sexual contact before marriage....

Most Christians who abstain believe they have their whole lives together as husband and wife to get it right. Church documents such as Theology of the Body by Pope John Paul 2 emphasise the importance of a mutually fulfilling sex life within a marriage. Its not a "sex is bad" attitude but "sex is amazing when within the context of a marriage." attitude.

I do believe that once in a serious relationship, a couple should be able to talk frankly about sex, their expectations, sex drives etc. If they find abstinence extremely easy then I would take that to mean they had a low libido and that could create massive problems later on with a spouse who had a higher sex drive. There is a huge difference between abstinence and total lack of sexual desire.

Bazey

aileth wrote: »

Now I have some serious explaining to do about my browser history.

Not as much as me...

daisiegg

Tish_P wrote: »

Another thought - there are a few dedicated dating sites for introverts, which shortens the odds on finding someone who'd rather go for a nice walk and bring a picnic than get drunk and go clubbing.

Do you have any links for those sites, please?

tea_lover

It sounds as if they just need to expand their social life a bit for now, then worry about the actual dating aspect later on. I'm not much of a drinker these days, and went through a phase where I felt like I was the only person my age not out getting leathered every weekend.

In the last couple of years I've joined a community choir, a craft group, a homegroup from church, etc. All great for getting out of the house and meeting new people, and no alcohol in site!

rozmister

cakeforbrains wrote: »

lol, eek!

I just want to say, thinking about the post I just made, I realise that it probably comes across as more judgemental than I meant it to. I hope it didn't offend anyone who has these beliefs. I think everyone is entitled to their beliefs. I find it all probably a bit too interesting, to be honest!

I didn't read it as judgmental I read it as being curious about a belief system you didn't have experience or knowledge of. Curiosity is healthy in life it's how we learn

lostinrates

miss_independent wrote: »

They literally just need to date. Just get out there and date. Meet people, get to know them etc and after a while, when the sex thing comes up, be open and honest and explain the views. If they run a mile, then they weren't right for them. If they don't ...well great!

Waiting until they are married isn't the sum total of who they are so they need to not make it a massive deal initally. Its just one aspect of who they are.

If it is a guy though, I know at least ten christian girls who would be interested lol. If its a girl the last thing we need is competition lol.

I was going to say about gender neutral op......if its a girl no need...there are a fair few of women in that situation, if its a chap....the poor guy could be inundated with women, how has he kept himself hidden?

miss_independent

daisiegg wrote: »

I think the problem is friend is so shy that even meeting people to date in the first place is the problem. It's more about meeting people who aren't into going out drinking, etc, as well as just the no sex before marriage thing. Indeed, friend wouldn't care if they were dating someone who did drink, and wasn't a virgin - it's more about finding someone who doesn't care that friend won't drink, isn't that outgoing, etc.

I have set friend up with another friend this week....when I warned friend that other friend (damn this is getting confusing) does drink, isn't a virgin, etc - original friend said 'it's just one date, I'm not planning a wedding! I just want to experience being on a date with someone!' It makes me sad because friend is so lovely and has literally not had a date or any sort of romantic interaction with the opposite sex since a school relationship at the age of 16.

Well, at least they are going on a date! This doesn't sound as much as a Catholic No Sex Before Marriage problem but a Painfully Shy, No Idea How to Put Myself Out There Problem.

There are LOADS of people in that boat...myself included! The cure is to just simply chat away to people in your day to day life, faking confidence until you feel it, being more social, joining clubs, the gym, the rambling association, whatever...just getting out there. And even if dates lead no where, the more you date the more confident you get with the opposite sex and the more attractive you appear.

He/She sounds lovely! Hope it works out with the friend!

stir_crazy

Does friend's prospective partner have to be of the same religion or just share friend's values? I agree that it may not be a religious issue. It might be easier for friend to join interest or hobby groups to meet people with similar interests, rather than focusing on meeting someone with the same values..

Failing that, I've heard that eHarmony are quite good at matching people up who have similar outlooks.

ETA: Off topic but I just noticed that this is my 1000th post