How to meet people with Christian values for a relationship?

lazer

The right person turns up when you least expect it.

If your friend wants to meet someone with simialr values without meeting them at a church thing - try family orientated events and more traditional style pastimes. Its often not just mum, dad and child at family orientated events - single uncle or aunt might come along too.

I would also like to add well done to your friend for sticking by their beliefs, when they meet someone special it will eb worth it , and the right person will respect their beliefs and be willing to wait.

This might sound judgemental but you tend to find the people with more traditional values in the countryside or in smaller towns, so if there are any country fetes of community fun days try those kind of activities.

miss_independent

daisiegg wrote: »

This is what I say! But friend would rater meet someone through a different avenue that is not church related. Maybe if this keeps not working, eventually they will give in and try a church thing...

They literally just need to date. Just get out there and date. Meet people, get to know them etc and after a while, when the sex thing comes up, be open and honest and explain the views. If they run a mile, then they weren't right for them. If they don't ...well great!

Waiting until they are married isn't the sum total of who they are so they need to not make it a massive deal initally. Its just one aspect of who they are.

If it is a guy though, I know at least ten christian girls who would be interested lol. If its a girl the last thing we need is competition lol.

cakeforbrains

heartbreak_star wrote: »

Slightly off-topic - don't throw things at me - but if you don't have sex before marriage, what happens if you find out you're really not compatible in bed?

Is it any sexual act or just full intercourse?

Just curious

HBS x

I have a friend who went through this kind of relationship. He is a 'moderate' Christian and he met a Christian woman who believed in no sex before marriage. From what he tells me they did do other acts before they got married, which led me to think 'if you can do oral sex or whatever then what the hell is so damn sacred about full penetration?'. I didn't actually ask that, though, because it was their choice. Mind you, after they married he did contact me asking for advice on how to improve their sex life.

rozmister

I used to believe I'd have no sex before marriage and attended a happy clappy church from 11 - 15. Almost all my friends who I went to church with and who shared the same no sex before marriage values have now married other people who have they met within the church or through church work (attending events like new wine, mixers with other churches, outreach work, etc). So I'd recommend trying to meet people through outreach work, interchurch mixers or larger church events.

daisiegg

heartbreak_star wrote: »

Slightly off-topic - don't throw things at me - but if you don't have sex before marriage, what happens if you find out you're really not compatible in bed?

Is it any sexual act or just full intercourse?

Just curious

HBS x

I have been thinking a bit more about this and it is an interesting question.

I think it would be less of a problem if both people came to the marriage as virgins. That way, they are starting out together and exploring together. It is unlikely that one partner would already be coming to the relationship knowing they can only get aroused when wearing a tail and barking like a dog.....so I think incompatibility in the bedroom would be less likely to be a problem if both were starting at neutral, if you see what I mean.

As for whether it is all sexual acts or just full intercourse - I really don't know! Friend probably doesn't even really know as they have no experience at all. Sex is not something we really discuss. I do know that friend is completely and genuinely non judgemental about how other people choose to live, and is certainly not pious or holier than thou, and never shoves their beliefs down other people's throats whatsoever.

rozmister

cakeforbrains wrote: »

I have a friend who went through this kind of relationship. He is a 'moderate' Christian and he met a Christian woman who believed in no sex before marriage. From what he tells me they did do other acts before they got married, which led me to think 'if you can do oral sex or whatever then what the hell is so damn sacred about full penetration?'. I didn't actually ask that, though, because it was their choice. Mind you, after they married he did contact me asking for advice on how to improve their sex life.

The Church I went to preached no sexual contact before marriage and you shouldn't encourage 'impure thoughts' in others before marriage. So it was basically kissing and then a cold shower!!

Bazey

How about dating a vicar?

http://www.pastordating.com/

Tish_P

Church or sacred music related choirs (particularly if friend is male)? Volunteering at charities (s)he cares about that have religious connections? Those would be ways to meet people who are religious but don't define themselves by it iyswim.

I'd guess, though, that most people who will be OK with no sex before marriage are either going to be fairly heavily religious, or not really into sex so they probably won't want sex after marriage either. Nothing wrong with either type of person, obviously, but if they're not what your friend's after, the field wil be quite narrow!

The other option would be to sign up to a regular online dating site and state upfront in his/her profile what the deal is. Yes, 99% of people may read it and think "no sex? no way!" but for a large dating site 1% is still plenty of people.

daisiegg

miss_independent wrote: »

They literally just need to date. Just get out there and date. Meet people, get to know them etc and after a while, when the sex thing comes up, be open and honest and explain the views. If they run a mile, then they weren't right for them. If they don't ...well great!

Waiting until they are married isn't the sum total of who they are so they need to not make it a massive deal initally. Its just one aspect of who they are.

If it is a guy though, I know at least ten christian girls who would be interested lol. If its a girl the last thing we need is competition lol.

I think the problem is friend is so shy that even meeting people to date in the first place is the problem. It's more about meeting people who aren't into going out drinking, etc, as well as just the no sex before marriage thing. Indeed, friend wouldn't care if they were dating someone who did drink, and wasn't a virgin - it's more about finding someone who doesn't care that friend won't drink, isn't that outgoing, etc.

I have set friend up with another friend this week....when I warned friend that other friend (damn this is getting confusing) does drink, isn't a virgin, etc - original friend said 'it's just one date, I'm not planning a wedding! I just want to experience being on a date with someone!' It makes me sad because friend is so lovely and has literally not had a date or any sort of romantic interaction with the opposite sex since a school relationship at the age of 16.

aileth

Bazey wrote: »

How about dating a vicar?

http://www.pastordating.com/

Well that's just great. Now I have some serious explaining to do about my browser history.