Can you wear black to a wedding?

Errata

It looks like shortly everyone will wear black at a wedding and all the colours of the rainbow at a funeral.

paulineb_2

lostinrates wrote: »

I really want to do a breakfast Christmas tree now:D. I know quite a few people who do 'Easter trees' and I have beautiful eggs but I never remember.

The point is though, that its all incongruous. Like it or not some people will notice and make an assumption about an opinion held by the wearer or a lack of social awareness. This might well not be the bride. It might even cause issues later on for the couple ' I never liked that wife of his, her friends had no upbringing' or some other( silly) conclusion.

I say all of this as someone who married a guy wearing jeans, and whose witnesses wore jeans. I would still not turn up at someone else's wedding in jeans even if I think they are fabulous, and similarly I observe other social customs because It doesn't hurt me to do so and it might cause damage I never know about.

I really do appreciate what you are saying about social customs, but damage because someone might wear a black dress? Youve not said that directly but its part of the social customs we are discussing, black for a funeral, no white and black dresses at a wedding etc

If people are going to get upset because someone chooses to wear a white dress to a wedding or a black dress to a wedding, why bother getting married at all unless you specify directly what you do or dont want guests to wear.

Major reality check time for some people, thats just my view. As I said before, its a wedding, not a fashion parade where you count up peoples bloopers.

And if people get into the bare legs v no bare legs, tights v no tights argument, personally Id rather not go to a wedding than have to sit and worry about whether Ive committed a cardinal sin by wearing no tights or black tights or nude tights.

And if people want to judge me on my upbringing because of the colour of my dress, Id seriously think they were bonkers.

paulineb_2

Errata wrote: »

It looks like shortly everyone will wear black at a wedding and all the colours of the rainbow at a funeral.

A lot of people see a funeral as a celebration of someones life and sometimes families ask mourners to wear a bright colour.

When you are gone, you are gone, you wont know whether someone is giving you a send off complete with rainbow tshirt or is dressed head to toe in black.

paulineb_2

hunters wrote: »

ah right so its okay in Scotland to wear black as all the bridesmaids did at a wedding I was at on Saturday, they looked gorgeous as did the bride. Ouch.

Im scottish too, lets hear it for black dresses:)

Person_one

Errata wrote: »

It looks like shortly everyone will wear black at a wedding and all the colours of the rainbow at a funeral.

Black is still very much the default for funerals. People will generally only wear something different if its been requested, and I think a request is much more acceptable at a funeral than a wedding.

aliasojo

NButler wrote: »

If a person only owns one smart outfit, really has nothing else that could be suitable, cannot afford anything else or borrow an outfit from anyone, I'm sure no one would hold that against them.

At this point I have to ask...how would they know?

Most people would not advertise the fact they were financially strapped and/or had nothing other than casual clothes.

So how would the happy couple and/or other guests know there really was no other alternative?

They wouldn't.

Which is why people really shouldn't make judgements or assume a slight to the couple where none was intended. (Not aimed at you specifically NButler, just a general observation.)

paulineb_2

aliasojo wrote: »

At this point I have to ask...how would they know?

Most people would not advertise the fact they were financially strapped and/or had nothing other than casual clothes.

So how would the happy couple and/or other guests know there really was no other alternative?

They wouldn't.

Which is why people really shouldn't make judgements or assume a slight to the couple where none was intended. (Not aimed at you specifically NButler, just a general observation.)

I touched on this point earlier on, but look at any celeb wedding, z list and up in the papers and you might see people wearing all colours, but my god some of the dresses people wear to weddings are hideous.

Id never assume that just because someone chose to wear a colour that they would look elegant, classy or appropriate in it.

Also, many brides no longer get married in white either, a lot of people get married in ivory or different colours, times are changing.

http://www.glamourmagazine.co.uk/fashion/celebrity-fashion/2011/08/best-and-worst-celebrity-style-wedding-guest-fashion#!image-number=4

Kate Middleton, Jessica Alba and Vicky Beckham in black, twice.

aliasojo

Anyway...off on a tangent for a minute...I've just seen the wedding pics. I'm in some of them.

Now I do realise the camera can be unforgiving and can make you appear even heftier than you are...but when you are big to start with, there's not a lot worse the camera can do. :rotfl:

I had my cardi off at that point as the venue was very warm. All you can see are my leg of lamb arms. I look like a barn with arms. :rotfl:

I now have a print off picture of Kirstie Alley stuck to the front of my fridge and a Word Doc table print out with spaces to enter what exercise I have done on what day. Needless to say I'm aiming for the 'after' picture on the left.



I'm not going on a diet, they don't work. As soon as you mention cutting down or out, I feel starving. I clearly have psychological issues.

However, I am going to move my @ss more and hopefully make wiser food choices.

Today was a 3 mile walk with OH and mutt as a start.

Once I lose weight, I shall wear bright orange, cerise pink, lime green and perky purple. All at once!

Bring on the next wedding I say. :rotfl:

Person_one

Loads of us have psychological issues with food, we all have a pretty unnatural and weird relationship with it, one way or the other!

Well done on the walking, but, why not have a chat with your GP and see if they refer you to a dietitian or a counsellor? Nothing wrong with a bit of outside help!

Good luck! I've lost and gained weight far more times than I should have done for someone not yet 30, I know what a struggle and a stress it can be.

aliasojo

Person_one wrote: »

Well done on the walking, but, why not have a chat with your GP and see if they refer you to a dietitian or a counsellor? Nothing wrong with a bit of outside help!

Done the counsellor thing P_O. That's why I know why I do what I do.

I just need to get rid of my family now to get thin. :rotfl: