Can you wear black to a wedding?

lostinrates

paulineb wrote: »

Honestly, if I ever get married people can dress in bin bags for all I care. Or tutus. Seriously getting married is about spending the rest of your life with someone, not a fashion parade. Its just buying into all the hype about people having to spend a fortune on weddings and having to wear certain colours. Yes black is for funerals but people wear black all the time. At Christmas out come the little black dresses, its not just associated with funerals, its associated with other things as well or else shops would never sell any clothing that is black.

Its a sad day when people get upset at the sight of a black or white dress.

This is true, but there is also an issue of association.

Can I give another example?

Eggs. Eggs are for all year round, certainly, we eat them all year round, and especially at Easter. They also go in Christmas ingredients, yet it would be incongruous if people decorated a Christmas tree with eggs.

adouglasmhor

lostinrates wrote: »

This is true, but there is also an issue of association.

Can I give another example?

Eggs. Eggs are for all year round, certainly, we eat them all year round, and especially at Easter. They also go in Christmas ingredients, yet it would be incongruous if people decorated a Christmas tree with eggs.

You do know the tinsel was originally sausages so the eggs would fit in quite well.

lostinrates

adouglasmhor wrote: »

You do know the tinsel was originally sausages so the eggs would fit in quite well.

I really want to do a breakfast Christmas tree now:D. I know quite a few people who do 'Easter trees' and I have beautiful eggs but I never remember.

The point is though, that its all incongruous. Like it or not some people will notice and make an assumption about an opinion held by the wearer or a lack of social awareness. This might well not be the bride. It might even cause issues later on for the couple ' I never liked that wife of his, her friends had no upbringing' or some other( silly) conclusion.

I say all of this as someone who married a guy wearing jeans, and whose witnesses wore jeans. I would still not turn up at someone else's wedding in jeans even if I think they are fabulous, and similarly I observe other social customs because It doesn't hurt me to do so and it might cause damage I never know about.

*zippy*

Well it did make me smile at the wedding yesterday, there were two ladies in black trousers with a white blouse and a few black dresses The only raised eyebrows were caused by one outfit that had nothing to do with its colour, but far too much flesh on show.

lostinrates

*zippy* wrote: »

Well it did make me smile at the wedding yesterday, there were two ladies in black trousers with a white blouse and a few black dresses The only raised eyebrows were caused by one outfit that had nothing to do with its colour, but far too much flesh on show.

I always think black skirts/ trousers with white blouses/ shirts are very tricky in any situation and setting unless very, very chic its very easy to look like a waitress or receptionist.

NButler

aliasojo wrote: »

Do you mind if I ask if you are of the older generation?

No I'm not old at all. If the bride and groom are fine with it, then of course it's all good. And I completely agree that clothes are definitely not the most important thing at a wedding, but if your not sure what the couples preferences are best to err on the side of caution. I just can't imagine a reason anyone would need to wear black that badly. And if the couple are traditional about things, suck it up and show some respect on their wedding day! :A

cod3

adouglasmhor wrote: »

You do know the tinsel was originally sausages so the eggs would fit in quite well.

We have a hard enough time trying to stop the cats climbing the Christmas tree without decorating it with sausages! :eek:

Brighton_belle

NButler wrote: »

I just can't imagine a reason anyone would need to wear black that badly.

Er, money being very tight and needing to wear the only smart dress they already own. Or money being tight and needing a dress that will do for various occasions are just two suggestion. Or just not having much confidence in clothes buying/your body shape and needing an option you feel safe in.

Showing 'respect' works both ways - I expect a bride and groom to show respect to their guests and not 'demand', however subtly and unsaid, their guests spend money they haven't got worrying a about finding the 'right' dress to their [STRIKE]showy event[/STRIKE] wedding.

When we got married, we felt utterly privileged to have family and friends there and couldn't give two hoots what they wore: their respect show to us was in attending, and sharing our happiness.

Person_one

NButler wrote: »

aliasojo wrote: »

Do you mind if I ask if you are of the older generation?

No I'm not old at all. If the bride and groom are fine with it, then of course it's all good. And I completely agree that clothes are definitely not the most important thing at a wedding, but if your not sure what the couples preferences are best to err on the side of caution. I just can't imagine a reason anyone would need to wear black that badly. And if the couple are traditional about things, suck it up and show some respect on their wedding day! :A

I didn't think you were older, because I've seen first hand the madness of the wedding industry in the last few years.

I think you're more likely in your twenties and have bought into the idea that on a couple's 'special day' (and for the whole of that week, and on the hen/stag do, and at any time between the engagement and the end of the honeymoon if they say so) that the world revolves around them, and nobody else's thoughts, feelings, bank accounts or practicalities matter at all. The idea that anybody who isn't absolutely delighted to be dictated to, or empty their wallet, or be a doormat is just a horrible person who can't possibly care about their deep and wondrous love.

Its getting pretty hideous! A lot of couples need to be reminded that hundreds of weddings happen every single weekend up and down the country. They can be absolutely lovely but they just ain't all that special I'm afraid!

aliasojo

Have to say I'm more with your way of thinking Brighton belle.

However as much as I agree with your comments, I also have to point out you are crap at quoting. :rotfl: You made it look as if I said that. :rotfl: